i feel like shit. my heart is pitted in my stomache and knoted in my throat. i am tired of being alone. i am tired of meeting guys that treat me like shit and have no respect. i try to have hope every day. sometimes i wonder if the types of things im into just do not exist in a man that can be honest. i have tried dating outside my interests and find nothing interesting in thse men. yes i have been with girls, but i like dick. what can i say. rough day maybe? this time of year is my fave, but sooooooo fkn hard cuz i can only remember my dad and brother and miss them dearly.

every day i sit and pray. meditate on having compassion for those who i feel have hurt me on a deep level. every day i sit and pray for light to fill my heart and body. to spread this light to the world. this is only thing that helps me stay present and kind in this cruel world.

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