How to use a cross-walk and still look cool.

1) If you know that the button has been pressed then don't press it. This makes you appear aloof, like you could care less what happens.

2) Try to observe the traffic light for the other direction in your peripheral vision. When that is in the last couple seconds of yellow, hop off the curb. Folks will think you are in tune with the forces of time-space. This is what Kwai-Chang Kane would do, barefoot of course.

3) Your walk is very important. Practice often. It doesn't hurt to ask opinions of your walk from prominent peoples, i.e. your boss, police officers, college professors, or psychiatrists.

4) Near the end of your crossing ( I suggest about two-thirds in, but there is no rule ) stray out of the crosswalk lines toward the left or right, but just a bit. No cage can hold you, tiger. It helps to think of tiger sounds in your head while you are doing this. Lion sounds are acceptable.

5) Don't step up to the curb, you stupid savage. Hop. Careful not to fall, as confidence is key.

6) Repeat.

I hope this helps.

Hellooooo everyone.
I just wanted to say I haven't forgotten about you and I certainly hope you haven't forgotten me.
Two jobs and school have been whooping my ass and not the way I like. Chemistry class is tough and I keep giggling when the word "titration" is spake. Looking forward to a glass of Yellowtail Cab tonight and watching My Name is Earl (I wanna make out with Earl in the back of his El Comino. Maybe Quinne is there.)
Here are some cool band names-
• The Sepia Tones
• Ockham's Razor
• The Floral District
• Flux Capacitor
• Sight Unseen
• Head
• Craig's Fist
• Chinaski (literary reference)
• The Acetones
• Hertz Donut
• Cornflower Blue
• Kismet

Hello everybody. Just some random extemporizations for you-
I'm at the fabulous laundromat and as if the panty folding wasn't enought fuel for the laundry pervs, me looking at hot naked chicks on my laptop with give them plent of cannon fodder.
How much god damn time have I spent at the god damn laundormat??!!?? I could be working right now and after the 1 1/2 - 2 hours 5 times a month I spend here that equates to over $100 I'm missing out on. This means one of three things-
1) I should just shut the fuck up cause this is just a part of life and it sure beats washing your tunic on some river rock.
2) I need a laundry genie or at least a hot laundry slave ( Ladies? Any takers?)
3) I am a work-a-holic.
Yesterday I had to explain to a 16 year old what the show "Happy Days" was all about. I broke down every character from Fonzie to Potsie to Pinkey to Mork but couldn't explain why it was such a giant hit for years. Remember the end when Fonzie shacked up with the single mom? It was quite a task....no...an ordeal. Happy Days were totally over-rated. Not like Hall and Oats who were, as we all know, under-rated.
My mind wanders-
Do other girls pee in the shower?
I've never seen two gay men shake hands.
How did mayonnaise originate and for christ sake why?
Bye for now.

well i am back, and about fuckin time. I have been traveling for work and most hotels are not down with me loggin on to suicidegirls in the main lobby, i tried believe me. So i am home and missing all of you. Fucked up how long its been. Lets see, I have gotten new speeding tickets, tattoos, and oh yeah ate like the fuckin pig i am yesterday. Hope you all chowed down too. Well lovelies, i am off to my tattoo artists to touch some shit up and finish my new project, i will have pics soon. and someone come fuck me up if i am ever gone this long again. I am an unfit mother for christ sake leaving you alone all this time. I think i will spank myself right now. Purrrr
see ya kittens and tomcats!
xo

So we all have things we have done in the past, and learned from them right? So why dont we always apply that knowledge. I think I am an intelligent person, may not be the best speller, but i rock math!!!! Enough about that, but seriously- we learn and try to make sure we see the signs, warnings, flashing neon lights telling us "hey fuck head, you've been here before, and it was a fucking diaster, what the fuck are you doing?" Maybe we tried to avoid a particular scenario but somehow we ended up there. I know this is vague, but can be applied to numerous situations. But it still amazes me. I may go into something with a different state of mind, trying to view something in a different way so as not to be in the same situation. But!!! And this is the biggest of BUTTS!, we are who we are, and we are going to become absorbed or conditioned to a situation by who we are. Explain? We all handle things in our own little way so when we think we have a new mind frame and we are stronger and smarter because of a past situation, we do not consider that our mind will still interpret the situation the way it has it the past. We may not want it to but it will, so run, flee, escape the bain of your mind until you can exercise it properly and reroute its thinking pathways. And good luck with that, i am trying this but it is a feat! It is taking way more time then i have to try this little experiment. Mad Scientist out!! xo

Fuck it has been too long, I missed everyone. I just started a new job but working the old job on weekends and school at night. This sounds like a lot, and it is, but I subconsciously make myself too busy for one reason. Excuses! I had my epiphany last night when I was driving home, going over all the shit I need to get done. I was checking my voicemails and realized I am deliberately avoiding anyone who has any interest in me. And my excuses are always ready and real. I have school tonight, I work all weekend, I am making clothes tonight for a band that need a helping hand in the wardrobe department. I keep taking shit on just so I have an excuse for why I didnt call back and why I can never meet for a drink/movie/dinner etc. It is a little funny, but maybe even more pathetic. I have avoiding dating for almost a year, and yes that does mean i am the masturbating queen. I think maybe 7 times yesterday and that was only because I had school right after work. So I think I have officially banned dating from my life and will soon be wed to my hand and my variety of toys. I think that means I am a polygamist. But do toys count? And do I have to go to Tijuana to marry them? Well it is good to be back and I thought I would ramble for a second, but I have to go masturbate and leave for work.

Okay, so this might not be the whittiest blog i will write, but hilarious, at least those who know me. So i was checkin out myspace and i am on the SG myspace main pic. So I start reading the comments. Man those fuckers are a little harsh, but I take critcism well, i think. There were many that thought my tits were fake, from the pic that was up. SO I call my friend who helped me prepare for my shoot and told her to take a look. She calls me after checkin it and has literally peed her pants. I am an A cup right, and she is an E. So right before Sawa got here to shoot, she is pointing and laughing at me, telling me that I have the smallest tits she has ever seen( they actually shot well, bigger than anyone expected) We laugh so hard we are crying, but this bitch literally peed her pants when she saw those comments. I had to call my roommate, and tell him of this amazing misconception. Who knew A's could look like "eww fakies" at a certain angle. So that was great, but I also got a ton of "I see ribs, someone feed that girl!" Okay, come on, from that angle anyone shows some rib, and I challenge anyone out there to an eating contest. I will fuck you up. One thing I was taught in SD was to fuckin eat! I have had coworkers on their cells to their husbands, telling them about the amount of food they just saw me consume. I just thought it was hilarious! Someone tells a girl 5 lbs heavier than me she is fat and that i am too thin, What do you people want! Fuck! Fuck you all, we all look good on here and that is why we are here! That is actually for the haters out there, i am not conceded, sware! But fuck I fluctuate 10 lbs on a daily basis! So fuck you myspace fucks- I will fuck you in the ass with my double ended dildo- take two bitch! and thank you to all the SG locals! You are the ones supportin and givin us the great comments- that is why we are here! Plus the other naked hot chicks we now have access to! Thanks for debutin me!

So this friend of mine had knee surgery and is on crutches, can't bend her leg, lots of meds!! That whole shit luck thing right? Well she slept on my couch for a few days and I noticed her enormous titties have become, well, monumental!! So my roommate, a good friend of hers starts pestering her to show us her tits, we usually get a show, but he ruined it by telling her to take off her shirt and get on her crutches, didnt fly! Then I start thinking, chicks gain a few pounds, they get some boobs out of it, when guys gains weight I see no cock enlargement!! We females are getting fucked again and not the way we like it!. Sure we may have bigger boobs, but now that cock is getting smothered by them and the dudes new -found- belly, where the fuck did that cock go? I have never heard a man say, "the weight goes straight to my cock." If that were the case I would be taking every man out to dinner on me! In my dream land where slaying is routine, blood bath houses are rampant,and jesus is a nympho on crack, the cocks and titties would be growing ever larger. Even our biology is against us (blasphmy- I am a bio-nerd) they get something we get nothing. Well let me play with those boobies cuz I can grow you some in return!!

Something to ponder- the genealogy of morals. If we had not had right and wrong pounded into our heads, embedded in us since birth, would we not rape, kill, steal, for the good of ourselves? If it came to chopping off the hand that feeds you, would you? If i was a cavegirl, and i was starving, and my hunter/gatherer family put the food in front of me, but wasnt producing what i needed, i sure as hell would cut up that failure of a almost human and eat the shit out of them. I know i would mow on that corpse for a week or two and hopefully by then I would have found, fucked and killed the next cave person i saw wondering near my domain. I am just saying, fuck these laws and societal morals that make it wrong or illegal to do the things my natural instinct tell me too. Why am i surpressing my carnivorous thoughts and actions because someone told those before me it is bad! I think I am having a little taste of bloodlust, i am going to eat a steak!