WARNING: ABSURD RANDOM PHOTO DUMP AHEAD!!!!!

HIYA!!!! I've been waiting for something to come in the mail before I posted a new blog, and I'm really glad I did. So, without further ado:







THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!!!!! It's been an eventful couple of weeks, sooo!!!! *crackles knuckles* Let's get down to it!!!

First---a great gift from my boyfriend:



I'd actually love to see a series of pictures like these. For Hopefuls and SG's.


BUT!!!! Let's get down to business!!!

*GOING PINK AND FRONT PAGE!!!!!!



Again, everyone, thank you so much. It was BEYOND an honor. Just BEYOND an honor. I cannot thank you all enough and I love you.

OF COURSE---with the good, comes the bad, naturally. And the asshole comments on facebook were ridiculous. So, after being trashed for "not having tattoos", my "messy" hair, the fact that I'm black, and a plethora of things that "didn't make me an SG", I decided to just cut to the chase and post a little reply:



BAM. I felt pretty damn good about that. You don't like me because I'm not super tatted? Suck my left nut. You don't think I'm SG material because I'm black? Fuck you. Fuck you AND your third nipple!

Oh, but it got EVEN better. So, basically, a good friend from high school gave me some serious props and congratulations. Tell me why this one, random bitch, who I didn't get along with IN HIGH SCHOOL (FIVE YEARS AGO) decided to put me on full blast and publicly post all of my doings in high school on facebook. So, basically, here was my response to her:

I have a little message, personal, and straight from the heart, on my One Year Anniversary of moving to California, for those of you (mainly high school friends) who may or may not have seen a few Trolololol comments when one of my good friends from high school (A real sweetheart), shared a picture of me from SG, and posted congratulations and how proud he was of me, and whatnot. Well, remember that to notoriety can be a wee bit of a troubling thing. I'd already seen on the troll, racist, and ignorant comments on the photo posted by SuicideGirls themselves, praising me and congratulating me, and what can I say?

Haters are gonna hate. It's an honor, really. But THIS little blast of the past---and out of nowhere mind you---served to remind me that some people just NEVER grow up and NEVER really graduate high school. And so, just to be a cunt (because let's face it, it was a cunty thing to do) someone decided to air out all of my dirty laundry from high school, and put me on FULL BLAST. Again. For how I was in high school. FIVE YEARS AGO. Of, but of course, I couldn't see it because she blocked me so one of my friends sent me a message with all of her comments. She's a little gem, isn't she? So, not only are you STUCK in the past, but you're a coward because you know I wouldn't be able to see what you said about me. Way to be brave, honey.

Brava.

Now, everyone who remembers the good old days of high school (at least while we were there) remembers there was a time when me and a now VERY, VERY good friend of mine were at each others throats and our fights had torn apart our social circle very well during senior year. It the DEFINITION of high school drama. We made The Mean Girls look like saints. We were the Hatfields and the Macoys, we were Thor and Loki, we were every rivalry you can imagine. So what happened? Well, we didn't talk for over a year, maybe longer, and then, when we had become more mature, realizing there is more than just HIGH SCHOOL BULLSHIT to deal with, and that we are ADULTS now, we reconciled, apologized for our parts in what ended our friendship...AND WE MADE UP. WE ARE FRIENDS AGAIN. So....tell me why, you, random third person who pops up outta the woodwork, are still VERY hung up on who I was in high school? So, when someone offers me congratulations, you wanna spam the hell out of what's supposed to be a nice post by posting ALL OF EVERYTHING I DID IN HIGH SCHOOL? I haven't even TALKED to you in five going on SIX years since graduation. What makes you think I am the SAME. EXACT. PERSON I was in high school?

But you wanna put me on blast? Fine. Go for it. Let everyone know. I'll admit it. In high school, I was a little cunt, I was selfish, and I was a terrible bitch...and I MADE my share of mistakes. But hey, at least I can admit that. And you know what? My friends who suffered that through me and are STILL friends with me, despite my little quirks? They KNOW me. They know the REAL me and they still love me. Still are my friends. My REAL friends. They are the REAL friends that KNEW what was going on in my life. STUCK BY MY. I AM NOT EVEN ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT LITTLE HELLRAISER I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL ISN'T WHO I AM NOW. (But I'm still a hellraiser and proud, and believe me, I still have my quirks. I am NO saint, lady.)

But like you were SO much more perfect. Really. And you're just making yourself look DUMB. But you know what, one of us has to be the adult and I don't like playing with immature children who have no right, and apparently, is low enough to dredge up my past, and POST IT ON FACEBOOK like we are still in high school. Wow. Way to grow up, honey.

Way to grow up and just pull a complete and total cunt move because you haven't advanced in life and you are STILL hung up on something that happened, again, in HIGH SCHOOL. And if you have, become a better person---though, the evidence suggest otherwise, in your words, "I wish you the best."

So, just to close this out, I'm basically gonna add a comment a very nice girl (not gonna name her to start anymore drama) posted to this chick: "In my opinion... (name omitted) you're a low self esteem jealous twat. Your rude comments prove that. Just letting you know.... you're making yourself look like a fool. Who cares how someone was back in high school. Everyone had/has problems through out their school years. Everyone deals with problems differently. Grow up. (Clearly you need too. Since you're still referring back to your high school years.) There is nothing wrong with living your dreams, no matter what that dream may be. Jealousy is a wasted emotion, I hope one day you can "overcome" your self hate an learn to love yourself."

Enjoy being stuck in high school for the past five or six years. And while you're at it, enjoy my past. You can have it. I don't live there anymore. And California, thanks for the awesome year, and what better way to mark this day than an invite to shoot with Urban Ink Magazine today. Cannot express my excitement!!!!!! Thank you, California. It's been a great year. Here's to several more. CHEERS! <3

And that was the end of that! Seriously, who cares? I'm still sleeping well at night and youre still emo, stuck in the sticks, and basically nothing. So, please, keep hating on me, bitch, because at the end f the day:



So, in closing:



Kthanks. (AND SPECIAL THANKS TO R3X FOR SHOWING ME HOW TO INSERT GIFS IN THE BLOGS!!!!)

And later, I went to celebrate me going on the front page!!! Of course, that was less than peaceful. We had a huge argument unrelated to SG, and about me moving out, and something else that I genuinely don't remember since it's been a while now. After the great makeup sex, we went to a special park, wandered around, and fed ducks, because thats what couples do after hot and torrid makeup sex.






And as I was telling the lovely Kyoko, I've managed to get him to do something fun with me: Join a pole-dancing class. He's not amused, but I sure as hell am, so I agreed he only had to do ONE class with me, hahaha. It's still gonna be fun to watch him do it! But, I'll be a full-time pole-dance student, so I'm excited! Pictures whenever it happens.

And the day after my set went live was my one-year anniversary of living here in California. I couldn't have spent it better because me and Milloux were invited to shoot for Urban Ink Magazine. Can't wait to see the results of THAT, but here's a little something that you pervs and pervettes have been dying for, thanks to a little perving on the amazing Tita's part:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

And just WAIT until you see the professional, finished products! Took a coupla dirty poloroids for shits and giggles too:



Oh, and one more:



Cannot WAIT to see the finished ones!!!! Yee!!! (And there may have been a nekkid picture with me, Milloux and Tita as well... ) After that, me and Mill hit up Islands. It was my first time there, so me and Mill settled in for some great food, and great conversation including nerding out about anime, Harvest Moon vs Animal Crossing, Tyga's girlfriend's HUUUUUUUUUGE ass, and how once, when I was in second grade, my "first love" whispered to me how he was gonna "rock my world" (TRUE story) and Mill had said, "What?! How does that even work! He only has a nub for a penis!!" And I was laughing the ENTIRE time. I was laughing so hard I was crying lol! So, yeah, after that, we coasted on home along the highway to the sounds of the lovely Lana Del Rey. It was like an amazing dream that night. I loved it, and I celebrated being here in Cali for a year the right way!!!! Here's to another couple great years here. Cheers.

~In Other News!!!!!~

As far as school plans go, I'm enrolled in a nice junior college, and I only plan on going long enough to get the credits that I need, so that's that. As far as work goes, my counselor at school hooked me up with a temp agency, so I got to interview for that on Monday, so wish me luck! I wouldn't mind temping for right now anyway.

My boyfriend and I bought two tickets to Hawaii, so we'll be hitting up the sand and the surf, and so help me if he cancels on me, I'll kill him. But, it's Hawaii---I seriously doubt he will.

And speaking of the dude, he finally got a day off from work, so we decided to finally go out on a date and enjoy ourselves. I prepared like crazy since he only gets one day a week. So, I did a bit of spoiling myself for the occasion:

Got my nails done--



Got my hair done, and got my eyebrows done. All of it was painful. But worth it. I was feeling sexy and confident and really on top of things. And then we took a couple of pictures together outside before we left. This fool can get on my worst nerves at time, but I still love him.



And then it was off to the mall for a little fun time. We hit up my favorite resturant, Olive Garden, and he hated that the server that I had last time (I go by myself sometimes to relax/spoil myself) was our server because the dude is delish haha. But, I got my favorite dish (edible)---Seafood Portifino and my favorite, very alcholic drink, a Frozen Tiramisu.



And WHILE we were there, interestingly enough, we witnessed a proposal! It was so sweet! We all cheered and toasted to them, and that of course--awkwardly--brought upon a talk about marriage in between us. Hm....well, anyway, let's work on getting through the first year atleast lol. ANYWAY, after that, we went up to the mall where we realized they were having a farmer's market. We wandered around and then I realized they had:

A PETTING ZOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









One of the goats started eating my shirt and everyone found it HYlarious. But not as funny as this guy:



A duck who looks like Beethoven!!! LOOK AT THAT AFRO!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing!!!! So, after he managed to drag me away from the petting zoo, we found a stand selling incense--and decided to buy some because they had some awesome-ass names:






Then we headed inside the mall for a bit of shopping. I manage to...um...well..."acquire" a lovely pair of sunglasses.



And then we went into Forever 21 and I found a great hat (that I didn't steal). But he thought I looked completely unrecognizable--like I was a celeb going in cognito lol. So, we made a gif with his paparazzi pictures:

picasion.com

And I bought a few more things:







And a special thanks to whoever sent me these awesome shoes from my wish list!!!



And after that, we headed on home for the day. It was a really great date that day---enjoyed myself immensely.

~~AND IN SG RELATED NEWS~~

Let's take a minute to clarify something:

THIS PERSON:



AND THIS PERSON:



ARE THE SAME PERSON. It's actually been annoying me IMMENSELY that people can't tell that I'm the same exact person in Apollo---just with shorter hair. And it's no secret: the long hair were extensions. And I'm never getting them again because if I have that much trouble with long hair, I'd rather it be my own, so I'm working on growing out my hair---for me, though. But seriously!!! It's not hard to tell I'm the same person! I just have shorter hair (and I'm actually happier with it).


As for Comic Con: I'm not going. No badge for me this year. Next year though!


AND NOW, THE BIG NEWS:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Yeah...I shot with Dwam









Special thanks to the awesome Chloe who dressed me for my set, and for taking these awesome perving pics! I can't wait to see the end results!!

It was really a great shoot and Dwam is amazing to see in action!

AND SPEAKING OF SHOOTING: Yesterday, I went to DeCota's place where she was holding a shootfest. I didn't go to shoot....





But I DID go to perv and help coordinate sets, and had to make this to express my excitement:



I PERVED ALL THE SETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our guest photographer was the very talented and sweet maka7957, and in charge of hair and makeup was his beautiful lady, our very own MinMin!






And the ladies in attendance being shot were:

The Adorable and SO sweet Beezle








The ever-so-sassy and charming Minks:








And last, but CERTAINLY not least, the sexy and boss-a-licious mistress of the house, DeCota!!!








And even though she didn't shoot, who could forget about the sweet Muerta?!




(making fast friends with DeCota's dog, Nugget! SUCH a cutie!!!)




(And of course, more group perving on Minks and DeCota)







Seriously, three shoots in four hours? Please give it up to Maka!!! <3 Thanks again, dude! You're seriously awesome and it was amazing meeting you! So much fun spending the day and evening with these awesome babes, sharing cheese, wine, crackers, joy, gossip, and friendship! PLEASE let's make these ladies PINK!!!!!



And a super special thanks to all the ladies who turned up, especially Minks who I adore like no other for giving me a ride home and taking me grocery shopping along the way! Thank you dearest! Love ya, babe! And after that whole day of excitement, as soon as I got home, I made some dinner:

Fried porkchops:


Butter and Herb noodles:


Peas:


And Hawaiian Bread!


SUCH a great night!

~~And in MORE SG related news~~~

RYKER IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who want to kick it with us, lemme know! She'll be here from June 29th-July 1st so message her or me! And we're gonna shake up LA quite a bit!


As for my part, things are great! I found out I was SuicideGirl of the day, and that was a pleasant surprise, I've been hanging out with great friends, and life is good. I will say that a few people have been like, "Oh, you're gonna forget all about the Hopefuls" and such, but that's not true. I'll never forget about the Hopefuls or the SG's and the people who made one of my biggest dreams come true. So, thank you so much, everyone. I really, truly do appreciate you guys sticking with me for the past year and a half. You all rock.

And now, time to end this with something amazing from MuffDiver!!!

[VIDEO]
[/VIDEO]

I was IMMENSELY flattered!!!!! Thank you! Well, that's all from me, folks! Here's a list of my summer priorities:

*Replay all the Pokemon games while waiting for Pokemon White-2 to come out

*Finish my novel

*Enjoy life

And please, people, don't forget to take your meds:



Love you all!

~Kuro


Wishlist!!!
Facebook
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Follow me on that Twitter thingy
Follow me on instagram @kurosunesuicide!

I guess to bring everyone up to speed, yesterday---or rather, two days ago---I had a serious case of depression. I felt like I was a terrible human; a terrible woman, and a terrible girlfriend. Now, my guy may be a dunce, but he works hard and I mean, harder than most guys I've ever been with. He's a chef now. Proud of him. Me, on the other hand, can't keep a job longer than it seems like a month. I felt like, "God, why are you even with me? What do I have to offer except advice, love, and sex?" I can support him, it seems, every single way except for financially. Or rather, I can't help with my end of the rent, which is only 200, because I can't keep a job, and because when I DO get one, I'm picky about it. No offense, but I'd NEVER want to work in fast food, and the only job I feel like I'd be happy working with is either one that involves being a receptionist, working with animals, writing, or working with children. So, I'm also being selective when it comes to work, only because I know ME.

If I don't like it, I'm not going to DO it, so there's no point in trying to find a half-par job I'm not going to enjoy. Yeah, that's me being selfish and immature, but so what? I'm trying to live to be happy. Plain and simple.

*Sigh*

And then trying to get into school, and I've been fighting with my dude......I just hate it right now. It feels so difficult, but I'm not going to let myself get any worse.

Oh, and to explain that ice cream thing, one of my roommates, the nasty, sexist, racist, and ignorant motherfucker cousin of my boyfriend, is a total glutton and selfish and decided to me the favor and eat ALL of my ice cream while I was gone over the weekend. Fucking prick. Correction: FUCKING SPOILED ASS PRICK. God, I hate him. And there's a strict rule here: "IF IT HAS A NAME ON IT AND IT'S NOT YOURS, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT". And of course, both of my ice creams had my name on it. Asshole. So, I went to the store, while defusing with Siriuss, and bought two more tubs. Basically, I put these in a bag with a PHYSICAL sign that said, "DO. NOT. FUCKING. EAT. THESE."

Just to clarify, there's been a rumor I bleached my hair platinum/white blonde. I'd just like to say these rumors are 150%...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

True.

YUP! That's right, I'm SUPER blonde now, and I am loving it. Sorry I've been MIA for a moment, SG! Life has been wonderfully busy, and I've been enjoying every, little bit of it! Let's go about things in a (probably unlikely!) order of business!


*Long Beach Comic Con 2012

*Bleached my hair

*NaNoWriMo

*Kansas City

*NEW Set Date for "Pearl Lioness"!

I UPDATED MY WISHLIST!!! I'm in the market for a new laptop, EXACTLY the same as my old one which has officially bitten the dust. Rest in peace, baby girl. You gave me light in the dark, spent the past three years helping me write, and just were awesome...

And talk about inconvient timing!!! It's NANOWRIMO!!!!! I had to rescue my story off my old laptop!!!!!!

SO!!! Who wants to buy me a cheap laptop for my birthday/Christmas/Kwanzaa/Just Because???

WISHLIST TOO!!! It's never too early for Christmas, Kwanzaa, or Birthday Gifts!!!


SO! Let's get down to business---(TO DEFEAT *SMASH SMASH* THE HUNS).


~FIRST! Long beach Comic Con! I got to work my very first booth there! If you weren't there, allow me to rub into your nose the gaggle of hot bebs that you missed:

Milloux

Tristyn

Ackley

Severen

Leandra

Lylie

Rlei

Pandie

Shanti


...Yeah, I'd be kicking me too, if I were you. The convention was a TOTAL blast! Got to meet fans, meet new people. have fun, goof off, and spaz out together (me and Severen) were especially good at that hahaha!

And now, Le photo dump for Long Beach Comic Con 2012:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

(LOOK!!!! It's THE FAMOUS "HARLEY'S JOKER"!!! )































(Severen had a BLAST with these guys!!!)







(BEST. CAR. DECALS. EVER. SAILORMOON!!!!!!!!!!!)














OKAY: These next few pictures need an explaination! There was a lovely girl who'd come to the booth and her mother was a massive SG fan, but couldn't attend Comic Con! So, when texting her mother what she wanted from the booth (as in to buy), her mother sent her this and we all died laughing:



It says, "One of the human girls, please" hahaha



And then: "Just tell her you have diamonds in your car and kidnap her. I'll take it from there." I could NOT stop laughing. I got SUCH a kick outta that! Eventually, she got her mum a shirt, and all was right with the world!




As everyone knows, I am a PROUD Ally of the gay community. When this sweetheart and I were chatting it up, she told me was transgender: (Male To Female). AND she had the cutest otter backpack that me and Leandra kept playing with, haha!



Again, I seriously believe it was destiny for Severen and I to meet because we have THE most extreme reactions to nerdgasm-y things. I will NEVER forget how everyone at the booth (and I mean EVERYONE) lost their minds because we saw a group of Avengers cosplayers that had a HOT THOR. (Milloux led the charge on that one, hahaha). And Severen was nowhere to be found, but JUST as we were lining up to take the picture, she RUNS over to the group squealing out of NOWHERE just as spazzy as we all are. It was SO hysterical, and I'm 99% sure we scared the hell out of those cosplayers lmfao!!!



Likewise when we saw Scruffy The Janitor! Trystin pointed him out! We both freaked and dashed around the booth for a picture!



Le Power Rangers!



A fan brought his ADORABLE service dog named Mango by the booth and we couldn't get enough of her!



Ackley learned what Furries were (bwahahaha)




And we got to autograph an awesome gent's neck!

It was a great time, with great girls, and so much fun. Shortly after LBCC2012, (like literally, three days later), I flew out to Kansas City to celebrate my Great Grandmother turning 100 years old! ONE HUNDRED. And even better is that her sister, my Great Aunt, is 98, so I'll be back out there to celebrate her birthday as well! My father's side of the family (IE: The Brusters and the McCraneys) are known for their longevity, their historical contributions, and overall, just being amazing.

Case in point: When interracial dating was illegal (once upon a time), my cousin (or uncle, can't remember which) had gone to jail for dating a white woman. So what does my family do? Literally BREAK HIM OUT OF JAIL and up and move to another city completely. I'm sorry, but that to me is just TOO fucking awesome!

Moreover, I got to see my younger sister who I hadn't seen in FOREVER. She's a PROUD Marine who served in the Afghanistan war, and it was great to see her given it was Veteren's Day weekend!


The most amazing part about all of this (aside from seeing my family again) was that the president and his wife--Ie, Barack and Michelle Obama SENT HER A BIRTHDAY LETTER, commemorating her on on turning 100 years old, and that's what I'm going to use to kick off the photodump for Kansas City, MO!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

(My Dad, my awesome sister, and my Grandmother, of whom I was named after, and my awesome aunt, who is an outted lesbian and proud mother of two AMAZING children, one of which, my little cousin (more like my little shadow), wants to become an SG when she turns eighteen! Four more years!!!









(My dad is some kinda special lmao. This picture ALSO shows that Kansas City, unlike California, has CHANGING SEASONS. Makes me even more homesick for the midwest!)



And now, pictures of the events, and of course, the guests of honor (ie, my family!!!), starting with the two greats: My great Grandmother (right) and my Great Aunt (left)!



(Below, is my auntie, and my Grandma (the daughters of my great grandma)---so, two generations of sisters!)






And now, random family pictures!









(This is the "little" cousin i was mentioning earlier! She's such a stunner, and one of my very best friends, and she's another beautiful alternative black girl who is begging me to get her started with SG, which I very much will be GLAD to do when she's eighteen! So back off, all you pedobears. I will kill you if you go after her before she's eighteen!)











(The crazy thing is that this is a good 1/3rd of all of my family there. We are a HUUUUGE bunch, and again, we live some good, long lives!)












(And afterwards, we all headed over to my aunt and uncle's house!)















(AND!!! Me and my cousin found some old pictures!! YAY history!)





(Notice anything about the picture above? Doesn't the lovely young lady on the far right of the table look MIIIIIIGHTY familar? I'll reveal who she is in a second.)













(It really SHOULD go without saying, but I am PROUD to have come from a family where both the men AND the women knew how to dress sharp! Young men don't know ANYTHING about "class" nowadays!) Meanwhile, after that, I just hung around KC until it was time to (unfortunately) leave.



(My dad, his two brothers, my grandma (their mother, and again, the woman I'm named after), and me and my sister!)




And now, just random bye-bye pictures! Kansas City has this AMAZING new bridge that was HELLA trippy to go through! I felt like I was warping through time!)

Aaaaannnd that's the end of the KC Photodump! BUT! Before I get too far away from the subject, here's some trivia! Remember the woman in the all gray picture of the family? Remember how I said she looks like someone RATHER familiar...? Ready?





And then some of you saw the picture of her on instagram as well:




...Give up? The Proof is in the DNA, dontcha think? ♥

PS: This isn't my mother, or my grandmother, or my aunt---this is my cousin from my father's side. What's crazy is that she told me she'd never had any children of her own, nor did anyone in our family look like her. Suddenly, I'm born, and people are telling us, "Oh, you look just like your cousin Twyla" or, "Wow, Twyla wait until you meet Ricky's daughter---she's your twin!". And they were absolutely right. ♥



And here she is, over fifty-something years later with yours truly:




I love my family. I really do.


And that's all for all of the adventure pictures! Not much else to report on! OH! I LIED!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION:

If you haven't noticed, the queue has been pushed back a bit! No worries! My new set, "Pearl Lioness", shot by the amazingly talented (and downright fucking awesome Waikiki goes into MR:

NOVEMBER 24th, 2012 @ 1PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Be sure to check it out! Anyway, that's all for now! Here's one more silly picture of me in a special gift that was waiting for me when I got home from Kansas City:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

FURRY PAW SCARF!!!! Happy Winter to me!!!

AS PROMISED, A MUCH HAPPIER BLOG!

I figured if the world is ending tomorrow (WHICH IT'S NOT ), then might as well update my blog and make it a rather happy one! I've got SOOOOOO many things to share with you guys, and a lot has happened in the past few weeks, so let's get on it, starting in chronological order:

~Started nursing school

~Met Pesky and Slamm

~Partied hardy with Milloux, Pesky, and Slamm

~PESKY WENT PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~SG New Year's Resolution---(VIDEO!!!)

~WISHLIST!!! (Shameless plug!)

~SPECIAL surprise


So, let's begin! Needless to say, I was originally having a rough go at nursing school. Wasn't sure of my classmates, and whatnot, and because I'm the "cutthroat bitch" of the class, I can't STAND lazy people in my class, or people who don't make an effort to learn. When it comes to my academics, I have SUCH a terrible superiority complex. I have to be the best at EVERYTHING, my pride takes a hit if I get a 97% instead of a 100%, and I focus so hard on my tests, that if I'm not the FIRST one done with it, I'll get pissy at the person who finished before me lol!

What can I say? I'm just very competitive when it comes to my classes.

BUT! I have been enjoying it immensely, with the exception of a few setbacks here and there, but so far, no complaints! Also, met my future husband too:



TOTAL babe, right? Always makes me laugh. Also, what do you guys think of me in scrubs?

We completed our second week today, and THANK GOD for that, because I was about to start scalping people. Ugh. I've NEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER been a morning person, so getting up at 6am everyday has really been taking it's toll on me, you know? It's like my tolerance for bullshit is even LOWER, and my drive to succeed has me even more fearsome, and competitive, and bitchy, but meh, right?

So, usually during demonstrations, I'm the one who lays in the bed and tries to grab so zzz's and sleep lol.



And earlier this week, we found out where we'll be taking our clinicals when we get back after winter break and whatnot. Turns out we'll be working in a sub-acute facility, which means we'll be in a long-term care facility, for people who have a lot of medical problems. It only hurts my heart because there are a lot of children in the care facility too, and it really hurts to see little toddlers with tubes, and tracs down their throats, and especially with the elderly as well. BUT! Gotta be strong, you know?

(Definitely won't lie--I'm probably gonna bust into fucking tears. I'm a very emotional person haha)

But, yeah! So far, so good! Once I'm done with the CNA program, I can officially start HHA (Home Health Aide) and RNA (Restorative Nursing Aide), which are the ones I want the most, so I can get my certificates and move on back to Chicago to help my mum!

Apparently, there's a WHOLE NOTHER song and dance to get my certificates transferred to Illinois, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I've been starting to really think and plan hard for the impending months, so as long as I keep a record and journal, and make sure to really get shit done, all's well that ends well!

Today, we completed our second week with a test (that got pushed back by a day, but was enough to send me into fits when I couldn't take it yesterday). I got a 97% on my first mock state board exam!!!!!!

WHOOO!!!!!

I missed two questions, and GOD DAMN it was a hard pill to swallow, especially because I wasn't the one who scored 100% (Trying to be little miss perfect and all), but I got over that shit in a fucking HURRY when we were told there would be NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, sleep, how I have missed thee so much! I'm going to enjoy the HELL outta my winter vacation by sleeping, sleeping, SLEEPING!!!!!

But! For what it's worth, I'm enjoying nursing school like you wouldn't believe, in between the hiccups and all! Can't wait to be done in February!


~NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS~

Pesky and Slamm came into town!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And for the first time in what feels like for-freaking-ever, I got to hang out with mah ladylove Milloux! There was SOOOOOOOO much insanity. From Absinthe (and poor Pesky having to watch me throw up half my intestinal track in Mill's toliet---UGH), to cosplaying in Little Tokyo, to standing on a roof in the middle of the Hollywood Hills, absurds amount of Doritos Tacos, creepy grinches at the local farmer's markert, and the whole shebang! Seriously, fucking awesome ladies who I love and miss!

(PS: Totally stole like 2/4 of these pictures from Slamm's blog lol! )





















SUCH A WEEKEND OF WIN! But moreso because....


~Next order of business~

FUCKING PESKY WENT PINK!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Milly called me and told me a few days ago, and I was in the middle of class, and I bust out crying, I was so happy!!! SUCH A GREAT CHOICE, SG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I called her and was TOO stoked about the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCH A BABE!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU. GO. GIRL. I love you, miss you, and am SUPER fucking proud of you!!!!

~NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS~

Got to submit my little ole New Year's Resolution video for SG!

[VIDEO]
[/VIDEO]


SO looking forward to the amount of tattoos I'll be getting this year! And all of the awesome SG events, and girls I'll met, and just...such a great year, I know it!

Aaaaaand speaking of how you AWESOME peeps can help me accomplish my last two resolutions...

Wishlist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd REEEEEEALLLLY love a Sega Genesis with the Lion King and Pocahontas games, pweeese? *PUPPY DOG LOOK*

Okay, enough shameless plugging! Here's some randomness before I close out the blog with a leeeeeeetle something special!











And now....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

"Bagheera"--(Set name inspired by the black panther in the Jungle Book, and thanks to Ryker for helping me to name it) was shot by DylanBorgman at the FLShootfest2012 is done, but probably won't be released for a while, given I have one set I'm waiting to hear from Dwam about, AND I'm shooting with Brooklyn in Vegas in February! Still, it's a beautiful set and you won't be disappointed, so look for that later on in 2013!

I think we ALL KNOW the damn world is NOT gonna end tomorrow, but that being said, everyone be safe, be responsible, and seriously, DON'T do anything you're gonna regret in 2013!

Love you all, and thanks again for the love on PEARL LIONESS!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Once upon a time, there were six roommates living together in a small, but comfortable apartment in the lovely area of California known as "The Valley".

~The first roommate was a strong, strapping a dapper chap with sexy hair and a body to match.

~The second roommate (yours truly) was the girlfriend of said dapper chap. Very crazy about him. (*Shameless plug, lmao*)

~The third was the loving and older sister of the first roommate, and dear friend of the second roommate, always greeting each other by throwing their hands into the air and screaming each other's names in pure joy.

~The fourth was the flamboyant, spoiled and divalicious twin brother of the first roommate. Nuff said.

~The fifth was an egotistical little punk who thought he was God's gift to women. Also a spoiled little punk, but as a friend, he's not too shabby.

~And the sixth....

Well, what can be said about the sixth roommate? Sure, she's a lovely girl, and she has a deft hand with housework, but the fact is:

SHE'S A GOTTDAMN DRAMA QUEEN TO THE NINTH DEGREE, and I HATE drama and the people who start them. And we're not talking about little "Oh, my hair won't straighten" drama, we are talking about, full-blown, 'Everyone pity me' immature, high-school manipulative bullshit drama and she sucks in everyone into her nonsense.

*Ahem*

Now, what should be a cute, little hodgepodge of a family QUICKLY turns to hell when it is discovered that roommate number six ISN'T roommate five's girlfriend---she's his straight up fuck buddy.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

WRONG. So very, VERY wrong. This bitch is FAR too immature to be ANYONE'S fuck buddy and actually LIVE with him. First of all, you shouldn't be living with your fuck buddy PERIOD, but that's strictly my opinion. I mean, come on, unless you are just ASKING for drama on your end.

But, this simple bitch just can't seem to see that. So, for the past few months, this has been her M.O:

*Lets roommate five (aka, her fuckbuddy) degrade her, abuse her emotionally and mentally by tearing her down because she's a curvy girl (and any guy who disses a curvy babe can suck my big, purple dildo).

*Allowing him to say things like, "Well, if you move out, the only thing that'll change is that I have to start doing my own laundry again" (END QUOTE), and ultimately treating her like shit.

*Swearing up and down she's going to "get into shape" (I think she's fine as is. She's pretty and reminds me of a mafia wife), and also, being a real pain in everyone's ass.

*Deciding to "get separate beds", which is OBVIOUSLY not gonna work and didn't happen.

*Saying, "Oh, I'm gonna make him want me" and deluding herself.

But here's the fucked-up part; not only does she ALLOW his abusive and douchebag behavior, she gets MAD when he won't commit, and here's the kicker:

It was HER idea in the first place to move in together, all the while saying, "Oh, I don't like him", and SCOFFING at the idea of them "dating", when it's SOOOOOO fucking obvious she's actually in love with this fucking clown, but HE is adament in just wanting to stay her friend/fuckbuddy, because he GENUINELY doesnt have any feelings for this chick (and I can't blame her because she is a real little pissant to deal with now that I've seen her true colors. "You never know a person until you have actually lived with them").

At first, I was SO sympathetic towards her, like, "OH MY GOD HOW DARE YOU LET HIM TREAT YOU LIKE THIS!!!" and playing into her little game of "Oh, everyone pity me because I'm SOOOO tragic!!!"

*Makes a HUGE scene and says she's moving back in with her mom and blah, blah, blah.

*Waits until people give her pity and advice, and says "Yeah, you should leave, you shouldn't be treated like this, you deserve better, etc..."

*Goes and has make-up sex with him because she's too much of a little chickenshit to go home (and the bitch has a great home---she's just spoiled and weak).

*BOTH of their stupid asses come and apologize to me and my boyfriend (ie, roommate 1 and 2) for their stupid drama.

And see, when that gets to be a pattern for about TWO MONTHS, IT GETS REALLY OLD REALLY FUCKING FAST. I told you, I DO NOT LIKE asinine drama. I DON'T like manipulative people, I DO NOT LIKE SPOILED PEOPLE, and I HATE WEAK AND STUPID WOMEN!!!!!! (Read: Yes, every woman has her weak moments, but when you are stupid and tolerate some stupid bullshit and start as much drama....UGH)

So, after a while, I'm just like whatever. You LIE about having cancer (yes, this bitch actually LIED about having cancer to "test" her fuck buddy to see if his feelings ran deeper/she LOVES the attention and pity), she takes a pregnancy test WEEKLY when she claims "Oh, we don't fuck anymore, because I'm cutting him off", AND she always makes these empty threats.

Oh, and nevermind she likes to stick her nose in MY fucking business. Case in point, I wanted to go and hang out with Milloux at artwalk a while back, but I was leaving late. And suddenly, she's the one interrogating me, like, "Oh, why are you going out so late?" and "That looks shady" and blah, blah, blah.

BITCH STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING RELATIONSHIP!!!! How DARE you try and accuse me of being a cheater you silly cunt!!! Just because YOU'RE in a fucked up "relationship" doesn't mean I'm going to let you ruin mine, so fuck off bitch. And I don't think I DON'T know you do half the shit you do out of jealousy because it's obvious to everyone anyway.

So, I've HAD it with this chick! And the final straw came when had she FINALLY moved the fuck out and cut off this relationship with roommate number five. FINALLY. It's obvious it's bad for her, the chick is warped, and clearly a masochist, but I STILL felt bad for her, so we decided to go out to the club and have fun.

NOPE. This bitch made me babysit her drunk ass ALLLLLL night, because the boys were there too and she refused to dance with any guy, let guys hit on her, and whenever her fuck buddy would be dancing near us, she'd be like, "HIDE ME! DANCE IN FRONT OF ME SO HE DOESN'T SEE ME!!" and when me and my boyfriend try and go off by ourselves, this bitch is RIGHT on our tails. God. And then she actually REFUSED to go home before us and wanted our roommate to go home first when we are all tired and have to work and do things the next day. She's like, "It's a pride thing!"

BITCH YOU LIVE WITH HIM!!!!!!!

And the worst part is when we DID get home, she's raising all this hell about "I don't want him sleeping in my room" so we are shuffling around, kicking roommate five out of his OWN DAMN ROOM (because she's not paying any rent), and this goes on for AN HOUR before she finally says "I want you to sleep in our room" ("Ours" she says) and I am ready to cut this chick's THROAT open!!! Like seriously, I FUCKING HATE DRAMA!!!!!!!!!

So, when she finally DID move out It's like:



I was SO happy. Like, "THANK YOU!!!!!! PEACE AND QUIET!!!! And then she sends me a text saying she's conspiring with roommate four (the other drama queen and spoiled little bitch-boy), and says, quote:

"Don't tell your boyfriend, but I'm gonna work out, get in shape, and come back in a few months".

And I'm just grateful for the break. Keep in mind, this happened last Monday.

So, yesterday, Friday, I come home and I'm tired and I'm sleepy, and who else should be back BUT this fucking stoner chick. AND SHE MOVED BACK IN. I WANTED TO SNAP HER FUCKING NECK. LIKE REALLY BITCH?!?! YOU ARE SO PATHETIC!!!!!! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!!!!!!!

Well, THAT lasted long. God, I hate women like her. SO much. And that's why I don't believe her whenever she "apologizes" for all the drama, because I know shit is not gonna change, but at this point, I'm BEYOND giving a fuck. God, I HATE STUPID AND WEAK WOMEN.

Like, seriously, bitch, have some self-respect.

I have just finished completing my very first week of school. As you all know, this Tuesday, I started school at JobCorps, and ended up moving into the dorms. It’s so hard to imagine that after all this time; I’m FINALLY doing what I came here to do. But, here we are, at last. Remember, reason I even packed up my so-called life and moved out here to California wasn’t for fame, fortune, stardom, or even modeling like most people do. It was because the JobCorps in Chicago didn’t offer ANY programs I was interested in, and California had Child Care (I love kids!!! X3) and Child Development. Getting started up was difficult, as you know, with me being in about fifty billion different places before FINALLY getting settled. Ugh. At last. After four months of not having a stable home, I finally have one, at least for the time I’m here, which is thankfully for a while. I’m blessed.

Of course, calling it a school is actually both accurate and misleading. It’s not so much of a school than it is a free program paid for by the government that gives you FREE room, board, food, washing (I say that because I’m currently in the laundry room), healthcare, and I mean EVERYTHING you need and have HERE, so long as you qualify and that means you can’t do drugs, you have to have VERY low income, be under twenty-four years old and a plethora of other rules. And I mean they will give you EVERYTHING you need for free, as well as a little biweekly allowance. It’s only 25$ but it’s still something, and I’m bummed because I haven’t been able to work because this program is a full-time schedule until I graduate. So, healthcare? I got it. Three square meals a day? I got it. Glasses? Got em. Free birth control? Got it. Free education and CAREER (not job, but career) training with the promise of being employed before graduation and most programs are under six months? ZING. Free. The only catch is that you have GOT to follow a LOT of strict rules. And I mean a LOT of strict rules. It doesn’t have the same come-and-go freedom as college does, and that’s because, like I said, it’s not college, it’s work, but I still call it school. (And if I had only known about it sooner, I could have saved myself the woes of all of these damn college loans.) -___-

And yes, I have to be up at like, 4:30am because my roommates wake up at the asscrack of dawn to shower and everything else since we have to be off of our floor by 7:15am, and while you all know I am THE worst morning person in the history of Bad Morning People, murder is a crime so aside from that, I can’t do jack shit about getting up that early, I would rather sacrifice my sleep (okay, that’s somewhat a bullshit statement) than having sleep out on the streets than not have any sort of future in my life. Fuck that. I’m grabbing life by its balls and showing it that I’m the one with the bigger nuts and that it WILL be my bitch whether or not it wants to.

So, let’s touch upon the first thing: The dorms. You know how most resident kids complain that their dorms are regular madhouses and everyone is crazy?

To those people: You have jack-fucking-shit to complain about. My dorm (and the others) is ACTUALLY a former psych-ward hospital room.

…No, really. Don’t look at me that way! It’s TOTALLY true! I will post pictures soon! They even have the lock-down doors and sealed the little slot where they even put food trays in and out. And the showers...! WHOO! Don't even get me started!

But it's a room that I’m sharing with three other girls. In hindsight, I’m pretty glad that I DIDN’T take the tour they offered in the beginning, because I’m pretty sure I would have said, “OHHHHHHH FUCK NO”.
Especially because I’ve been a patient in an actual psych ward twice in my lifetime. So, trust me, the irony nearly killed me. Ah, how I have missed the gated windows and whatnot. No, I’m kidding. But, really, it was kind of difficult settling in. For starters, my roommates speak VERY VERY LIMITED English, so communication is extremely difficult. And that’s partially my fault because I can’t speak Spanish as well, so, you know, we’re kind of pointing at things and speaking slowly, so I try explain things to the girls like how to use a combination lock, where we go for lunch, what the RA came to our room to tell us, etc.

I seriously couldn’t believe my luck. Not even kidding. It’s like seriously, why in heaven’s name would you stick me in a room with three girls who I can’t even properly communicate with? If anything, it should have been my three roommates and someone who COULD speak English and Spanish, so they know what’s going on instead of being so lost in the dark. I really feel bad for them, so I decided I’m going to take all of the negatives as positives:

~My roommates no habla English? That’s okay. I can’t speak Spanish and they can’t speak English, so we can help each other learn the other’s language. Bam. One positive. (Even though if they are talking shit about me I won’t know.)

~Our tiny, old and out of date shower (this one--*insert picture*) never has hot water because fifty other girls are taking shower, but that’s okay, because our fucking dorm rooms don’t have AC or proper ventilation and it’s hotter than Satan’s nutsack, especially with all of the bodies in the room and I am GRATEFUL for those cold showers.

~The amount of unattractive men here is ABSURD!!! I mean, in the time I have been here, I have seen TWO men who I would totally jump in a heartbeat. Go figure; one is white (and has a girlfriend) and the other is Asian and I’ve only seen him ONCE and I have no idea if he is a resident or non-resident. But I swear if I see him again, I’m going to say hi instead of just grinning at him like a dope. (And let it be known yet again, I DO date black men, I’m just picky.) BUT. I’m not here for men (sorta) and a boyfriend would only distract me, I’m sure, and I'm still seeing my older man (or as much as I can--super busy lately).

So, yeah, it takes a lot of getting used to, but I’m enduring. I mean, fuck, I MOVED out to FUCKING CALIFORNIA just for this, and after being held on a string for so long, I’m finally where I am. So all of the negatives I bitch are extremely tolerable, even if they are little irritants. The best parts are the following:

1) I have found an acting/writing/poetry group that meets up every single week, Tuesdays and Thursdays and what not, and I’m getting VERY involved in that, especially because sitting around after classes can get boring and I need to keep myself busy or I’ll go nuts. There’s also a dance group I want to join.

2) I’m going to join the Student Government and gun for vice-president, because I enjoy politics somewhat, but more than that, I want to be able to help the students and make things better and more tolerable here.

3) We aren’t going to be staying here in our psych-ward dorms for long; we’re moving into a brand new building (it’s almost completed) in January and it’s gonna be EPIC. I’m really excited. This new dorm is going to have wifi, the rooms are going to be a bit bigger, and it’s what a dorm-room SHOULD look like! So, I’m extremely, extremely EXTREMELY happy about that! Plus, they are gonna fly me home to Chicago for holidays (before the new dorm, I just forgot to mention it)! WOOT!!! FOR FREE!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
So, yeah! There are a ton of other good things, but like I said, it’s just our first week, you know? We hit our second week next week. But I’ve made a few great friends here, which helps even more, you know? I’m not so lonely and I always have something to do or someone to sit with at lunch.

Yesterday, me and my new friend Brianna (who is also a fan of the SuicideGirls, 22 like me, a gamer, an anime and manga fan and just an all-around awesome person) decided, “FUCK YEAH! WE SURVIVED THE FIRST WEEK SO WE’RE GONNA FUCKING CELEBRATE!!!!” and we went wandering around downtown L.A on a grand adventure in search of an arcade that was supposedly near our school. Well, after getting fantastically lost, going to Chipotle, and whatnot, we ended up finding the arcade where we blew our hard-earned first week money on playing “House Of The Dead 4”. We were screaming and swearing and shooting zombies and frantically putting in more tokens so we could keep playing. It was one HELL of a workout.

Then they had that horse racing video games where you ride the mechanical horses and we were ridng em hard AND fast hahaha! Then we did boxing game. It was a fun night all things given. And the girls here are nice, crazy, funny, cool and sexy! It’s so funny how we have each other’s back here, especially with things we’re not supposed to have. For instance; Brianna has terrible allergies, but no medicine, but she has tampons. I have allergies, medicine, but I don’t have any tampons, and it’s that time of the month.

So, we traded!

Didn’t have to spend a dime! I am really enjoying it. We just got back from bowling, which was hysterical, btw. It made me miss my dad, especially, because I always bowl with him. I’ll be sure to do so when I go home for winter break. Wow. By then, I’ll have been here in Cali for over half a year. Crazy, huh? Well! Anyway, that’s all for now! We went to wifi hotspot, me and a few friends, so we’re just kind of enjoying our Saturday

Hello, SGland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm here! I woyld like to thank the lovely Milloux for posting a blog for me in my absence. To say I have been MIA is a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE understatement, but what can I do? I don't have wireless internet, but it's AMAZING to know how many people have missed me.

BUT ZOMG I AM SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY ABOUT ALL OF THE NEW SGS!!!! CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH?!?!?!??!?!?! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU GIRLS AND I AM SO SORRY I MISSED YOUR CROWNING MOMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO PROUD THAT I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT IN JOY!!!!!!

Now THIS is what I'm fucking talking about!!!!!!!

I am seriously SOOOOO happy for all you girls and I am sorry if I have missed so much! I'm sorry if I've missed birthdays and everything! I love you all and miss you all desperately! Sorry if I've just been MIA for so long. I really am. I know there are a few girls who think I've been intentionally ignoring them...

Not true. Seriously. I haven't been. I've just been stupidly busy and I haven't had time to go and find some wifi. True story.

However, one message came from a member read as thusly:

(Gotta love cut and paste )

"KUROSUNE-HIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you! God, I heard all of the rumors! Everyone thought you had died! Or WORSE.....given up your dream to become an SG! SAY IT ISN'T SO!!!! I AM HOLDING A CANDLELIGHT VIGIL FOR YOU ANYWAY!!!!! I LOVE YOU! COME BACK TO US!!!!!!!!!"

(End note)

Had this been from anyone else who I didn't know personally, I would have just been weirded out hahaha. But it was from a good friend of mine and I'm grateful for the message. So! I'm gonna combined all of the inbox messages I have received and play a little Q and A with you all!

Q: "Have you given up trying to become an SG?"

A: FUCK. NO. Never! In fact, I'm looking to shoot a new set real soon! Remember; when Kitsune have a thousand lives! This one is gonna be GREAT and I'm really looking forward to (hopefully) shooting a new set! I'm not giving up ever!!!!

Q: "Is it true you got married?"

A: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yep! I eloped to Vegas! No, I jest. I'm still single (and the older guy I want to become more with is still holding me at arm's length). But with everything that's been happening, I'm not doing much of the chasing anymore. Fuck that noise. I'm too damn tired to chase any man, but what's interesting is that when I DON'T contact him, he wants to hang out and whatnot. Blah. I don't wanna play this game anymore. It's getting old.

Q: Is it true you're pregnant?

A: ...Don't make me bitchslap you.

Q: Are you dead???

A: As a doornail. School is wearing me out. I seriously just had to have a breakdown and just say FUCK. EVERYTHING. I had a big, bawling break down and it's terrible because it's NOW when everyone starts trying to take notice of me in a positive way. It's like all of the most important people have their eyes on me and I didn't know it until recently. So, I needed to take a break. It's just the stress; it's not that I can't handle the pressure, but because it all happened all so suddenly, I didn't have time to really soak it all up. Blah. Not to mention that they closed my trade (Child Development) the same trade I moved out here for, so I can't get into it until February, so they decided to stick me in Office Admin until it opens again. I was FUCKING HOSED. OHHHHHHHHHHH I was pissed off like a montherfucker. So, adding up that with a plethora of other redic drama just made me break down. I couldn't take it and add to the fact that I haven't had a free weekend in for fucking ever really did it to me.

So, today, I'm just taking it easy. I don't have a roommate anymore (And I'm enjoying it while it lasts), so I'm just gonna CHILL this weekend and try and soak it all up and just RELAX and get my head on straight. Come Monday, I'll be the powerhouse that NO ONE can even make an attempt to step to. I'll be right back on top running this place from the inside out JUST as it should be. I'm doing a lot too; I'm involved in EVERYTHING. Yargh. So, yeah, breakdown day means I NEED TO HAVE A FUCKING BREAK DAY.

So, no worries, everyone! I can't talk for much longer, so I will just leave you with a kiss and a hug! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post next, but it'll HOPEFULLY be about my next set! Love you all!!!!

~Kuro

(Regarding Advertising---)

Kurosune: "Give me a break!!! I don't know how to undress a girl!!!!!!!"

Zebrah: "WTF!!! You have a gay rainbow on your thigh! You should be used to this!!! FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!"

Kurosune: "It's the ALLY symbol!!!!!!!!!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding Illinois Gun Control Laws---)

Pogoe: "I saw a sign that says "Gun permit? Disarm! Illinois is the last unarmed state." So, are guns totally illegal here? ...I'm betting Chicago begs to differ!"

~*~*~*~*~*

(Regarding where SoBelle was taking us to shoot---)

Zebrah: "I'm pretty sure she brought us here to kill us."

Amarena: "It looks like a good place to dump a body."

Pogoe: "Yep. No one would every find you here. It'd be like, "Oh, where's Johnny? He didn't show up for work today? Ah, well! He'll come back on his own!".

Kurosune: "It looks like where I buried my ex."

SoBelle: "I'M NOT GOING TO KILL ANYONE!!!! SHUT UP!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding Zombies---)

Pogoe "That field looks so DARK." (Talking about a wide, open field next to a gas station)

Kurosune: "...Anyone ever seen The Walking Dead?"

Zebrah: "YES!!! I think we'd be awesome Zombies. (Turns to me) You wouldn't be much different as a zombie, though."

Kurosune: "Yeah, I'd still be like, HERP! DERP!!! WAIT! But you're a vegetarian! Even if you became a zombie, you wouldn't eat anyone; just shoot them."


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding useful boyfriends---)

SoBelle: "Oh, honey! Can you take a picture of our asses??? And our tits too!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding Buying in Bulk---)

Kurosune: "Huh. They really do sell things in bulk out here."

Zebrah: "Wait, where?"

Kurosune: *Points to a sign in Walmart that says, "Bulk Items".*

Zebrah: "I KNEW IT!!!!!! (*Snaps a picture and runs back to show everyone*) LOOK!!!!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding How To Freaking out a poor waitress---)

Zebrah (To me) "WAIT!!!! NO!!!! DON'T ORDER THE BLUEBERRY MUFFIN!!!! YOU HAVE TO KISS ME LATER!!!!"

(Later)

SoBelle "I'm pretty sure she thinks we're all porn stars now."

Amarena: "AWESOME!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Regarding Words to Scream When Someone Is Coming And You Have Your Breasts Out)

All of us: "FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

To explain: I was a Floor Officer on the 10th floor where the girls are. I was Recreational Officer, which meant it was part of my job to plan all of the awesome outtings to Universal Studios, horseback riding, The Staples Center, etc, etc. It was a GREAT position and I absolutely loved my family of floor officers. We are MAFIA bosses, bitches!!!

But the biggest perk about being a Floor Officer is that you go straight from a four man room and to a TWO MAN ROOM, which means no more sharing a four man room like a prison cell with nasty roommates who snore or whatever. The best part is that my roommate was my BEST friend here at school. Like, no joke. So, FINALLY, we got to room together. That's the back story. Now for the negatives that have been happening.

I guess the biggest downside is that I got into a huge altercation with my RA. See, for the longest time, I had been TRYING to desperately get along with, but the fact of the matter is that she is kind of a bitch, even though she did a few nice things for me. I guess what really broke the camel's back was that she left some VERY IMPORTANT MEDICATION of mine downstairs in the cafeteria. See, not that it should surprise anyone, but I do suffer from bipolarism (extreme highs and lows) and I have depression, and I also have pretty bad insomnia. Well, my school pyschologist hooked me up and I've been great ever since. And because of how our school works, we aren't allowed to possess our own medication for safety reasons (like some of us could OD or our roomates could get it, etc), so any and all medicine is given during the day by the nurses, where as any medicine we take at night is given to the RA where she dispenses it as needed.

UNFORTUNATELY...my medicine was left by this irresponsible woman who has been working EVERYONE'S nerves lately and some students got to it. There was a huge to-do about it, and we had a giant meeting and as soon as they said that the "animosity" between us was considered a "threat" despite me not even having made ANY physical threat against her, they told me I was moving to another floor, AWAY from my two man room, AWAY from my best friend, and AWAY from my position and my family of girls.

No ammount of medicine could keep me from LOSING MY SHIT. I got so pissed off I had an epic meltdown and flat out screamed and cried and everything, and then I went and said that she was fucking her supervisior, WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS and as far as we are concerned, that shit is TRUE. They are TOOOOOOOOO close. But whatever.

So, my punishment was to be moved over to the Honors Dorms in Hollywood (WHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), but only for a week, because the following week, me and four other students going to Washington DC for the Student Goverment Association Leadership Conferance. WHOOT! Big ballers! AND this was two days after my 23rd birthday, so the timing was great and bad, but my birthday was epic, so worries!

Unfortunately, they made me move back to the hellhole downtown dorms. Ugh. And not only that, I was forced OFF THE FLOOR again, and moved to the shitty 12th floor and BACK into a four man room. I was so pissed I wanted to murder someone. Ugh.

STEP 2: Explain The Insanity At School and how that led up to me becoming a Non-Resident

Okay. Onto more deeper issues. If you haven't heard, especially those of us living in Los Angeles, and who are familiar with my school, JobCorps, a few days ago, there was a stabbing at my school. To be more specific, there was a murder at non-other than the Honors Dorms. That night, one of my favorite RA's lost their life and it has shaken us down to it's very core. Mr. Anderson was a kind, funny, and very creative man who, as a writer, was an excellent playwright (and gave me high praise for my play being the one they chose for the school play back in December), who watched over the boy's floor of the Honors Dorms, also known as Studio Club, named for it's Hollywood location and because it was a female dormitory for famous female stars such as the beautiful Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball, and countless others starlets.

A student (who everyone is out to get, so for his sake, his family better not pay the 1million dollar bail because he's probably SAFER in jail) lost his shit and stabbed him to death for---wait for it---being told not to walk back and forth from the public showers (very visible from the girl's floor) with just a towel around his waist.

It was a senseless murder and loss of a great man and we at JobCorps are EXTREMELY hurt and angry by his loss, but we pray he's resting in peace. And this is one of many factors that leads to the next lovely life topic:

*I Became a non-resident (moved out of those hellhole dorms)

Yup. You read that right. For those of you who have missed a few of my past blogs, (*Shame, shame, dahlings!*) I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED being a resident at school. I mean, I could seriously bitch on for YEARS, but if you caught my last blog--or the one before, can't remember---then you'll understand why I'm not exaggerating when I say I am EXTREMELY grateful to have finally put in my papers to go Non-Res, also known as "Non Resident". I'm living off campus and putting up with the hour and a half long commute to school and work because this is seriously some BULLSHIT. Now...I bet you're wondering where I moved, especially if I'm not with Milloux and there's no way in HELL I'd ever....

You know what, never say never. I'm just going to say that I'd PREFER not to be back living with those specific family members if I can help it. Now, moving on to the next topic:

*STEP 3: Answer the question, "But wait, if she moved out of the dorms, where is she living?!!! AND Proudly answer that question and move on.*

So........yeah........um........I kinda........MAYBE, JUST MAYBE NOW!!!!.....

.

Okay, so I figured this is going to have a two-prong effect with some people. People are either going to see it:

"HOLY SHIT!!!!! HAVE YOU LOST IT!!!!! DIDN'T YOU GUYS LIKE, *JUST* GET TOGETHER?!??!!?"

~Or~

"HOLY SHIT CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW'S THE SEX?!?!"

Because these have been the general reactions I've been getting lmao. Keep in mind----we've obviously known each other longer than we've been dating, so we already have hashed out our ghosts and skeletons and whatnots.

Okay,well let me explain a bit. So, yeah...I have no idea where to start.

Not because I'm dodging this like Jaws trying to dodge a rabies shot, it's just that things have been a bit CRAZED. I mean, really.

We had been talking about me moving in with him, only because I was going to hit my fucking mental limit what with having to literally suffer through living on campus. And whenever I escaped on the weekends (and I mean I use that word in the STRONGEST SENSE), I'd always come out to his place and just relax. I mean seriously, when I was here, I knew EXACTLY what FREEDOM was, because months at JC will fucking do that to you. I didn't know a bullshit 10pm curfew, insane roommates who drive you to homicidal thoughts, and I especially didn't miss the fucking DRAMA. OH MY GOD. I thought I knew what drama was---N.O.

So, coming here for the weekends was a serious HIGH for me. It's like I tripped to Eden every, fucking day. Zero concept of time, what day it was, and at times, I GENUINELY forgot what JC was. And when reality came back, I ALWAYS cried. Correction---the first time I knew I was seriously in trouble was when I cried because I had to go back one Sunday. I literally started crying my eyes out. Like seriously, "DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK" status. I know it seems "out of character", but at that point, I was borderline suicidal. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take LIVING there. Almost eight months of hell---and swinging back and forth in between---too much.

Shit, there's only so much one can take mentally.

So, my boyfriend and I began talking early on, about me staying with him. But then I got seriously cold feet and had a lovely little breakdown, and finally managed to resign myself to living in the dorms, pissed off, angry, and rather suicidal, and then BAM.

This shit happens.

So, I grabbed my papers THAT day and just got all the signatures I needed, rushed upstairs, packed what shit I had, left a LOT of shit behind (the third time I've halved my stuff), and just rushed to his car like the damn building was burning down. I said "bye" to a few really close friends of mine, and then I left.

And let me tell you, once I finished putting my stuff away at his house and getting settled....THAT. WAS. THE. BEST. FUCKING. SEX. OF. MY. LIFE.

True FUCKING story (excuse the pun).

And since they have closed down the school for a week, it's even crazier because I have been tripping straight to eden all week. It's insane. It's like here, not only do I lose all track of time, I can actually cook, be as domestic as I want to be, go out when I want to, come home when I want to, have as much sex as I want to, and just be free.

And it feels GREAT.

Of course, this wasn't as impulsive as you think. It wasn't just a run-and-jump-without=looking-and-HOSHITHERECOMESAFUCKINGBUS-thing. We talked about all the possibilities and what would happen now.

And that leads us into the next topic!!!

*Explain life goals from here on out.

We DID talk. Like a LOT before all of this happened. Waaaaay too much, but then I got cold feet and whatnot. And I already had a plan before I became a non-resident, because let's face it; even though I NEVER want to go back to being a resident, if this goes SOUTH, then I'll need a second plan.

But for right now, it just is.

So, here is....*EPIC EXPLOSION*....THE GAAAAAAAAAAAMEPLAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!

~Get a job: CHECK! (I am currently employed at none other than my true love, GAMESTOP!!!!! I fucking LOVE IT. I have always loved it, even when I was still living in Illinois!!!! GAMESTOP!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!)

~DON'T QUIT SCHOOL. I don't give a damn how far I have to commute. Screw this. I am FINISHING. Because of what happened, everything got really fucked up, so I have to wait a couple of extra weeks (GOD I HOPE NOT) before I can ACTUALLY begin my trade, which is the EXACT reason I moved out here to California, because they didn't offer said trade in Chicago. I WILL COMMUTE AND AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL FINISH THIS DAMNED PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Speaking of school, I am going to enroll in community college once more. Oh, God, here we go again.

~And once graduation from JC rolls around, I'll have already been in my internship and internship means job where I am interning, and job means CAREER, and career means MONEY. I plan on living here with my dude for the next couple of months ONLY----and then getting my own place. And if we decide it's really for the best, then we'll get a place together lol. (And before anyone goes, wait, WUT---NO. He doesn't live wth his folks. (THANK GOD). It's so funny this huge house we live in; it's like an awesome place where the "kids" rule because neither parent (or anyone's for that matter) live here.

I tried edibles for the first time EVER a couple a weeks ago (before we moved). I mean seriously, I don't condone drug usage, but my boyfriend is a very bad influence on me. True story. I mean, I HATE smoking---my lungs suck and I hate cigarette smoke and everything else like that. I'm just really sensitive to it.

HOWEVER---our roommate and his girlfriend suggested I try edibles, and since I'd NEVER been high before, I said, "Okay, sure, why not?" and I knew I was safe at home, so down the hatch they went. Brownies, rice krispie treats, and chocolate covered cherries. Now, I wish someone had told me, that as a beginner, eating them would pack a HUGE punch and I shouldn't eat a lot.

Because an hour later, I was SO fucked up, I had LITERALLY FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK.

And I mean we are just having a GRAND time!!!! Laughing, eating, walking all sideways, listening to that one time that our roommates heard us have sex in the kitchen....

And THEN I made the mistake of laying down UPSTAIRS (because our bedroom at the time was upstairs). All hell broke loose. I started FREAKING out, oh, and having sex?

I seriously thought I was losing my virginity all over again. Not because it hurt or anything like that, but because I was SO scared and all of the sensations were BEYOND INTENSE. I mean, WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DIES*

And then I had to pee some hours, so what do I stupidly do? I go downstairs, (TOTALLY bypassing the upstairs bathroom for some reason) and use the bathroom and pass out on the toilet, only to wake up five minutes later like, "WHERE AM I?!" See, but I had enough dignity ("Dignity", she says. HA!) not to scream for my boyfriend to come and have to rescue me off the toilet so I somehow managed to pull up my panties and stumble back upstairs and just pray to every god listening to get me through this.

I COMPLETELY overdid it, but I recovered. And the best part?

My Tagalog is FLAWLESS when I'm fucked up. How do I know? Because I thought, (or as much as I could think) that if I blurted out in front of everyone, "Hey, babe, let's go upstairs and fuck!!!" it would be awkward, so I said it CLEARLY in Tagalog----which, in hindsight, didn't make ANY sense because all of his roommates (including his twin brother, his sister, and his cousin and his cousin's girlfriend who is hispanic) spoke PERFECT Tagalog and understood it.

*Headdesk*

Lemme tell you, not one of my better moments, just like last night. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I had a simple edible (brownie) and I just enjoyed the high. Less intense and less chances of getting lost in bathrooms.