When I was little I spent a lot of time at my Grandparents house in Pleasanton, CA. When I was 10 my family moved to Maine and I havent seen too much of them since. Actually I havent seen them in six years. I barely speak to them.

Today I IMed this random person on my buddy list. It's my cousin Abbey. So I talk to her a bit and I find out that my fucking Grandmother has Alzheimers, and is basically a huge mess who doesn't know where the hell she is or anything. That makes me feel awful. I mean, I knew I'd probably never see them again but even if I ever was to see her, there's no way she'd know who I was.

Basically that means that as many times as I've said I have no family from my mother's side, I really don't. I don't really know what to think right now.

And it's snowing again. Today is just a horrible day. I don't really know what to be thinking right now.