SuicideGirl: Kemper
suicidegirl

Kemper instagram @KemperFidelis

I’m private
 
SEPTEMBER 6, 2012 @ 06:10 PM


Hey SG peoples,

I said in my last blog that I wanted to blog more often and I've been trying to find the time but it's hard now that school has started. I'm currently taking:
3D Digital Toolbox
Creative Writing
History of Design
Multimedia Computer Arts
Programming for Creative Applications

I'm actually in class now. I have the most boring teacher ever; I had him last semester and I have him every day for 3 hours this semester. It's painful how slow these classes are. My friend and I said we'd pay attention today, that lasted for about 30 or 45 minutes. I'm proud of that accomplishment.
I even got some homework done for another class in the beginning because I was here early. Woo!

News on my last blog:
Life has been so much better. Not that it was bad before, because it wasn't, but I've made some progress with dealing with my "feelings" which is something I don't like to talk about. Hume26 and I have talked about it a lot and through our discussions I have learned more about the issue and that it wasn't the idea of commitment that was frightening me off, it was a fear of pain, rejection, etc, etc. My last serious relationship was a very long time ago and it has been the worst point in my life so far. I used to be someone who gave everything and after experiencing such epic failure I just learned not to trust or be vulnerable with anyone.

Even though I'm still scared shitless of being vulnerable I am learning to identify the mechanisms I use to feel in control again and shutting them down before allowing myself to quit a relationship for no good reason.
Overall, I'm really happy. I have a strong trust in the person I've chosen to commit to and the decisions I've made so far and I feel really, really good.

So now, since I am not at home I don't have all the photos I would normally post but you're going to have to take my word that it's been a very eventful month.

I do however have some photos of high points:

I got my right half sleeve/cover up started, which I'm super stoked on. I told my artist all the stuff I wanted incorporated and he really came up with something fucking epic.
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We are working on it more tomorrow.

I've just been being me, doing me stuff... I guess..
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I made a relatively spur of the moment decision to get a box turtle.
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His name is Oswald and he no longer actually lives in a box. He has a nice, big home which he only likes one corner of. whatever

I started a joint school/halloween project.
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I shot with Tmronin for Zivity and some tattoo magazines.
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If you want to see all of the Wampa set you better get over to Zivity!

Otherwise, I want to thank you all so much for showing Margaritaville so much love! I was really kind of shocked, I didn't think it was going to do as well but you all proved me wrong. I hope it gets bought because I haven't had a solo set in awhile and I've got another set with Dwam coming soon.
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Thanks again for all the constant support you all send my way. This blog didn't take nearly as long as the last one, only maybe 45 minutes. But now I still have 50 minutes of class left. frown
Almost done with my week and I can't wait for it to be over!!!

Kemper

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Comments
Maineville

Maineville

Corona, CA
February 2009

SEP 06, 2012 06:16 PM

Well i am glad that your doing better in life and i want you to keep it up hope to hear more of you classes are a bitch i'm glad i am out of classes now but good luck with your class hang in there

Jane

Jane

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

SEP 06, 2012 06:18 PM

My ex and I had a turtle and it did the same thing. I often wished I was as content in a corner of my house with rock and lamp.

mkayal

mkayal

USA
October 2010

SEP 06, 2012 06:26 PM

I find that wearing sun glasses in class with a mirror finish let me fall asleep unnoticed while my tape recorder catches the lecture. If that helps any.

DragonsKiss

DragonsKiss

Marathon, FL
June 2006

SEP 06, 2012 06:32 PM

It's great to see you are getting your head cleared, at some point I need to do the same. And I'll have to go look up the Zivity set, is it still Kemper there?

Spliff

Spliff

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

SEP 06, 2012 06:32 PM

I'm glad to here you've figured yourself out better. hopefully you and the new boy will have an even better relationship because of it. smile kiss

ericwine

ericwine

Charlotte Hall, MD
January 2007

SEP 06, 2012 06:32 PM

I think fear of rejection is part of my issues, too - so, since these things tend to stay in your psyche for a while, it's something you may have to contend with unless you've really chosen Mr. Right this time.
Margaritaville is awesome, you get more beautiful all the time.
The cover up tattoo looks great - and so does the Zivity set. I guess I'm gonna have to reactivate my membership just to get a Kemper fix! biggrin
Good luck with school. You survived the dull prof last semester, so you can do it again. smile

TheCrow596

TheCrow596

Ocala, FL
August 2012

SEP 06, 2012 07:10 PM

Kemper you are absolutely beautiful and i wish u luck with your relationship. Life is about taking chances it sucks when things don't work out and its hard but it just means there is some thing better out there for you.have fun with school and getting the new tattoo

baudot

baudot

Oakland, CA
February 2004

SEP 06, 2012 07:30 PM

Taking classes from professors you love is key. Doing everything you can to dodge the bad professors and take classes during the semesters the good profs teach them is worth juggling schedules for and even taking the odd class you would have otherwise ignored. If another prof teaches the same class on a different semester and you're not past the add/drop date...

eweytx

eweytx

Houston, TX
November 2010

SEP 06, 2012 07:50 PM

Thanks for the update and glad you're feeling better!
Good luck with your classes, too.

Kelpie_

Kelpie_

HOPEFUL

Ellensburg, WA

SEP 06, 2012 08:40 PM

I look forward to seeing more progress on that half sleeve <3

hornyarm

hornyarm

Canada
January 2012

SEP 06, 2012 08:45 PM

nice

deltronzero

deltronzero

USA
September 2011

SEP 06, 2012 09:03 PM

My boyfriend and I rehabilitated three box turtles this spring. So much personality. Make sure they get a lot of natural sunlight/outside time, always have some water for them to soak in, and enough soil that they can burrow into, and try to vary their diet everyday (between pellets, fresh fruit, veggies, worms, etc.)

They are so damn cute.. I miss our three.
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lamesauce_nox

lamesauce_nox

San Bernardino, CA
February 2008

SEP 06, 2012 10:46 PM

YOU didn't think it (Margaritaville) would do as well? Have you not seen these pictures? You are colorful and compact and curvy and you ooze seduction. You are amazing in front of and behind the lens.

I wish you luck with your Professor Binns this semester.

SourSkittles

SourSkittles

HOPEFUL

Nephi, UT

SEP 07, 2012 12:15 AM

I'm in the same spot your in Kemper. I'm not afraid of committments, rather the idea of being tossed out with the garbage again. It hurt so badly, and I'm still very broken from the whole damn thing. I fell in love, completely, the moment I laid eyes on that guy, and handed everything I had of myself to him. And then he left. He just left. My kids still ask for him. And I cry because I don't know why he left us. I would have moved heaven and hell for that man if he'd only asked.

I've recently met a new guy, who knows exactly what he wants, and it's more than obvious that he knows I'm never really going to totally get over the last guy, but he knows how hard I'm trying to move on. J knows that I'm giving him the very best of who I'm regaining after all of the heart break. He knows that I'm broken inside, and is paitently helping me to fix the peices. J had some wonderful hopes and dreams for us as a couple and a family, and I'm more than willing to see if we can do it, if he can heal my invisible wounds.

When partners are able to communicate, like J is with me and I him, all sorts of progress can be made in figuring out if the pair is a match. I wish you the best of luck!

Saiylor

Saiylor

SUICIDEGIRL

United Kingdom

SEP 07, 2012 01:14 AM

I love Oswald so cute!
I miss being in education it sucks at the time, but its nice to make your brain work, I feel mine has now turned to mush. I keep thinking I would do a side project but I am so uninspired...
In LOVE with that red polka dot dress.
(I am also hoping to be in LA for a couple of nights maybe in November)
biggrin

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