Hello there SG land.

If you're a veteran of this place, or have at least been around for over what has most likely been 2 years, you might remember a time when I used to blog often and in depth. I used to really give a little piece of myself and my life in almost every blog. I gave you guys an idea of who I really was as a person and I always got really flattering messages and comments about how much people loved my blog and they felt like they really knew me and were connected to me because of it. Well, I've been very hesitant to put any emotions out here anymore. Not because of anything any member ever did, just because of events in my life and the kind of person I have become which is now very personal and withdrawn. I've learned to keep my life to myself and, to be honest, I tell very few people about what goes on with me. I'm not necessarily closed off; if I were to sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with any one of you I would be more than willing to share with you an answer to any question you had. The truth is I don't have time to do that on SG, and on top of that I feel kind of guilty writing about my own life here. Why should all of you care about my joys and sadness when I can't return the same empathy?
I'm not really sure what I wanted to gain with what I've just written. I suppose what I'd like is to be more open with this community on this blog again but usually when I do sit down to write what I'm feeling I end up getting it out and deleting it without posting. I hope I don't do that with this...
But regardless, for those of you who felt that connection to me, I would like you to know that even though I haven't been sharing I have been constantly striving to better myself in all the ways I can. It's been a struggle and the improvement a person can make with oneself will never ever be complete but perhaps a neverending hobby can keep life interesting.
I find myself being more bluntly honest with people, perhaps when it's not necessarily the nicest thing but I prefer not to adapt to a social norm I don't agree with. How can one better the world if they can't better themself? I think a general lack of honesty and a constant need to "beat around the bush" or "sugar coat things" is what is making today's population so neurotic.

However, that's not what I came here to write about. I came to be selfish and use this blog to jot down my thoughts and to hopefully help myself get past a problem I've been having. They say writing is therapeutic, right? So why not if nothing else has worked:
My current issue is one of commitment. I have been without a long lasting romantic relationship for over three years now. I've dated around a lot and I've met many fantastic people, both men and women, but I have not been able to make that commitment to staying with anyone for more than a couple months. Originally I was not bothered, I was playing the field, I was enjoying my single life and I was finding out what I really wanted in my life and in another person. Well, after all this I believe now that I may have found what I want. Alas, I have rejected it before due to my fear of giving up what I would call my "freedom". I've been reading up on the fear of commitment and I feel like I have a logical view of all this in my head but I rarely talk about it. I never set myself up to HAVE to commit. I feel like the less people I tell, the easier it is to escape when I get nervous. So hear it is. I'm putting all this out here now so all of you who read this knows and if I'm still doing this in a year or two years or even three then I'll still just be running scared. It's not an excuse anymore. The first step to fixing your problem is admitting you have a problem to begin with, right?
So here we go, fingers crossed for not fucking up. I appreciate you sticking through my inner monologue if you've made it this far.

Now that I feel that this weight has been lifted more off of my chest than the typical metaphorical shoulders, I can give you what you may have expected, as it's all I post lately: photos!

I've been drawing more:


And then Comic Con came and went to stay with Venom and her met her super sweet pup who reminds me of a giant version of my Delphi:

Unfortunately I don't have all my SDCC photos on my computer but I have enough to keep it interesting:
Tita
Tristyn
Alicee
My IG friend.
Sash
And photos I've stolen from others:
The "FAMOUS" is my ass. Haha
And Miss Tita gave me these.

And then life went on and I did some shooting:
Found this photo of my grandma when she was young, probably about 1920's.
Found this drawing my mom did of Delphi for my niece.
Made a new friend at Chipotle. Haha

And then I started moving:
And probably the dumbest thing I've ever done.

Did some babysitting:


Found some old stuff:
Me and my old dog, Patches.

Did a shoot for a friend:
So many bruises.

And then the lovely Sash's wedding:


WTF.

And then an amazing day with Antigone, Blackcentr, Venom, Radeo, and Lauren.



And then I got tattooed.


And then I went to a polaroid exhibit featuring Radeo and Sawa.


Which brings us to this morning:
A pillow I made a while back for Hume26
And my adorable niece, who just turned 5 on Sunday, wearing my heels.


NOW. IMPORTANT NEWS.

Some randoms:

And this made me lol hardcore:


And now for the modeling stuffs I said I'd been doing:



And finally:



Yup. I think that's it. And do you know why I don't blog often anymore? That took me about 3 hours to do...
I hope you enjoyed!
<3 Kemper

PS. And I'm finally getting my right shoulder cover-up started tomorrow! Can't wait!!!! For more immediate photos, follow me on instagram @kemperfidelis