mmmmmm. I’m lonely. Everyone is out that I know. Ahaha. Like both of ‘em. Rehearsing in the studio. Or “I was making a zombie movie.” K, I believe you. Cos I couldn’t make something up like that. not even me. Yeah. I feel like someone stole my brain. I’m just sitting here watching law n order. I wish I had some food. Then again I’m not really hungry. This is an exciting journal entry, ain’t it? I emailed my potential agent today. Maybe, when I get a book deal, my mom will stop asking me, “why do you write so much if you don’t make money from it?”

though I’d write anyway. Even if someone knew and told me today, ‘you are never, ever, EVER going to make money from writing your whacked out shit so stop,’ I’d still write. Cos I’m a whacked out shit. Okay, now read this!!! the buzz about my new novel..

From The Underground Voice…..Blood Will Soon Be In Your Backyard………

“The Boys of the Demonic Hermitage Kaleidoscope” receives mixed reviews:

(These are fake, funny reviews written by fake, funny friends)

“Where to begin with this trainwreck of a novel? I got a headache just trying to figure out the title of the book. That should have been a sign, but no, I decided to read the whole thing. Damaging to the soul doesn’t even begin to describe the manic depression this left me in. One guy is tortured by a surgical utensil by a bunch of jocks, a girl admits she attacked herself with a butcher knife at the age of twelve, another girl has an overblown ego because she thinks she’s the only lesbian in all of Wisconsin, and a pedophile thinks he’s cool because he knows NOFX lyrics. Meanwhile a kid who thinks its funny to let lonely old men buy him vinyl becomes a sort of glorified James Dean rebel in the novel, and has the time of his life with a girl on the beach who’s turned on by violent sex. We’re supposed to think all these people can be this jaded just because they live in a depressing part of Wisconsin where rusty lighthouses are the most exciting tourist attraction? I think not. Okay, well, maybe.”

“Spotless as shattered glass!!!!”

“I don’t know how many times I jerked off but I do know I won’t be able to sell my book to any used book stores.”

“I’d tell you how I felt about the book but I killed myself once I finished it.”