Hello everybunny, it's been a while.

I haven't been AWOL, I'm on the site for at least an hour everyday, I just struggle to think of cheerful things to write about because I'm not in the most cheerful of places in my life right now.

I finished my exams on Thusday all of which I failed because I couldn't stop crying long enough to actually study.
I don't think "depression" is even the right word for this anymore.

ANYWAY, enough about that!!

Did you all see Tarion FP yesterday?? It's been SO long since we had an SA girl FP, it was really exciting for me! Especially since I'm such a huge Tarion fan!!

At some point I'll get around to giving you all an update on my life but I really just.. Well I'd rather not right now.

Instead, I'm going to talk to you all about my hair.
Yes, my hair.
(I would like to now submit "Hair" as well as "Food" to the Powers That Govern for consideration to be added to the list of categories for blogs. Thank you.)

Over the years I have done very many unspeakable things to my hair and it surprises me that I still have any left.
It seems my inability to commit extends into my appearance and this has seen me spawn a great multitude of hair styles and colors and combinations that would make any sane human squirm.

So, without any further adieu, Jeckyl Suicide's hair timeline..

Once upon a six years ago, I was just a normal teenager, doing normal teenager things and having normal teenager problems(and hair)...


Normal Teenager Jeckyl

The transformation all started in my third of High School when I discovered this horrid trend known at the time as "Emo".

The first change was the fringe. My teachers referred to it as "the curtain".
To this day, I can't tell you how I saw through this thing for 3 years.


Emo Jeckyl going to school with a ridiculously over-sized bow in her hair

The first colour I put in my hair was actually from a can of hairspray and I was convinced it made me look pretty damn hardcore..


Hardcore Jeckyl

Of course then I discovered clip-in hair extensions and it all just went downhill from there.
I started doing combo's with black.
(Please note the evolution, or de-evolution rather, of my dress sense)

And then, bless them, they decided to let me out of High School.

Without the constraints of school rules, I was now free to do with my hair whatever my little neon heart desired.
It dawned upon me that two colors was no longer enough!

This began the three-tone-craze..
(Again, God, those accessories. WHY)

It started kinda tame..

Now, as you can see, we have entered the scene-hair phase of my life.
The motto here was "The bigger the hair, the closer to God". I read that quote somewhere and decided to swear by it.
In an attempt to outdo.. well.. myself, even three colors was no longer enough!
I give you the abridged version of the darkest year of my life.

You might recognize this pic from the pageant I told you about, the night that launched my career.



Immediately, my style completely shifted.
Through my photo-shoots, I learned to drastically tone down my garish ways. The change was instantaneous.

And as time went on, and as I grew into, on, and through this site, and as my career progressed, I found myself changing more and more..

Okay, so now I'm usually wearing less clothes than I used to..



But, when I DO wear clothes, they're pretty damn classy



I went through a green phase somewhere along the line..



That was around the time I shot Enviable



I got in touch with my playful side when I shot
SuicideGirls For Dummies



But then, I'm proud to say, I went back to my natural unnaturally black hair. And I've actually kept it for over a year!!

All these changes I think can account for the more mature feel people say they get from my latest set Sublimate




The only change I've made since then is go shorter with my hair



And then shorter still..




I won't pretend to understand the reasoning behind the way I used to be. But, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say I went through most of my life feeling like I was invisible.
I just wanted to be noticed, I wanted to stand out.
That's why I always had to have more piercings, more jewelry, more color. Because otherwise I felt like I'd just disappear.
But now I've realized that I don't need all of that for people to see me.
They see me fine just the way I am.
And I've lost that need I feel to always be more. I feel just as comfortable now to be natural as I did then to have all that sparkle around me.
And I think this is one of the many things I attribute to my joining this site.
Realizing that hey, even just Jeckyl minus all the frills, is still pretty cool.

So thank you once again, SG, for the very many ways in which you enrich our lives, without even realizing it.


New Jeckyl!

I hope you've all enjoyed my little hair timeline.

Until we meet again, I love you all!!

Hi.

I wanted to make a blog today because as of today it's been exactly one year since I've had a set go FP.
Yay me.

Anyway, I didn't know what to write about because I've been paralysingly depressed as of late and my day pretty much consists of either crying, sulking, or pretending to eat so my mother will leave me alone.

But then I saw this in my NewsFeed on FaceBook.



I'd like to take a moment to dissect this.

Firstly I too do get messages from girls asking me about the site.

I give them facts. I pretty much have a copy/paste reply that I send. It goes like this:

"Hi,

Thank you so much for showing interest in the becoming a SuicideGirl!
I would love to help you!

First, a bit about the site:

SiuicideGirls is the world's largest online modelling website featuring thousands upon thousands of pinup photo's from alternative models from all over the world.

To become one, all you have to do is apply. Follow the link below and fill out the application form, be sure to attach 3 CLEAR pics of yourself. They don't have to be proffessional. They just want an idea of what you look like.
They should get back to you within 3 weeks. When they do, inbox me again and I will help you through the second phase of application. Good luck!!

P.S I should mention that this is a nude pinup site and, as such, you will be expected to pose fully nude in all of your sets. This is not optional. If you are hesitant or unsure, just let me know and I will forward you a few sample pics. I can assure you that the nudity is very tastefully and artfully done. Nothing overly graphic or sexual. And you don't have to show your fanny if you don't want to. Just boobs and bum."

(And any Hopeful or SG on this site who asked me for help can attest to the authenticity of this message. It really is what I send them.)

See, just facts. I don't think it's my place to sway a girl's decision either way. Even though I'd really love to just scream "APPLY APPLY APPLY!!".


Nobody pushed me into this. I won't push anyone else into it. Or out of it.

I don't knpw what this girl's experience with the site is but I don't think it's fair to make the rest of us look and feel like idiots for sticking around.

Anyway a status like this is catnip for someone who's in as foul a mood as I am so here's my analysis. Line by line.

"You will be treated like complete shit by the staff, your contract will keep you in bondage (and not in a good way), you will be ignored and heckled and it will be a blemish on your career, should you continue to model afterwards."

I'm not even American. I've never even met any of the staff and yet they've been nothing but nice to me.

My experience with SG started with the staff photographer Talamia.
I've never really been around a lot of people who are nice to you just because it's who they are but my experience with her really set the tone for my experience with the site as a whole.
Right away, she treated me like an older sister.
Shooting sets really feels like hanging out with a friend. I remember the day we shot Enviable, I completely forgot I was there to shoot a set and almost went home without doing it.

My first experience with the higher ups came in the form of a FaceBook page called "Model for SuicideGirls".
Now I don't know who runs this page, but I think she deserves a medal.
You know what it reminded me of?
A preschool teacher.
Someone who has the patience to literally hold your hand every step of the way and explain things a million times until you understand.
By the time I actually joined the site, I was spoiled. I knew what to expect from the site and it didn't disappoint.
I realised for the first time that all the stories you hear about people who met their bestfriends/husbands/life-partners on the site, are true. In fact, it's almost expected. If you've been here long enough, you'll understand what I mean.

I have nothing but great experiences to share about the staff.

Everytime I've e-mailed them, no matter how silly the question, they have responded in the sweetest possible way.
Three seperate examples come to mind.

Firstly there was my new girl package which I didn't even know about.
I remember getting an e-mail from Sash saying it had just been returned to head office and I was like "whassat".
In a string of e-mails, I finally figured out how to properly write my address and the package was resent, given a tracking number and I think she even later asked if I had gotten it or not.
In a company of over 2 000 models, you don't think they'd have the time to sit there and make sure you got a bunch of free stuff that you weren't even entitled to and didn't even know you were going to get.
They probably don't have the time.
But they make it.

I have a friend who went pink last year but didn't have a PayPal account so didn't receive her cheque.
Eventually we became friends and she's now using my PayPal but in the meantime, SG has been e-mailing her reminding her that they owe her money and trying to help her figure out ways of getting it. Seriously?!?!
Don't lie to yourself by saying you would've bothered to chase someone down to give them money. But they did. And they have. And continue to do so.
In a company of over 2 000 models and considering they're making over 365 of these payments a year, you wouldn't think they'd have the time to remember that one model from over a year ago who they haven't paid yet.
And they probably don't have the time.
But they make it.

Best example would be my 21st.
I remember e-mailing them to ask for permission to use the logo on my fliers.
Instead, through months of e-mails exchanged between Rambo and Rigel, and a very helpful link to the SG Party Planners group, they pretty much planned the whole party for me.
When it came to the flier, I had quite a bit of trouble. The first flier I sent was really bad and Rambo was really sweet about it. Eventually after weeks of back and forth and fix this and change that I think they actually did it for me.
Now you tell me, in a company of over 2 000 models, who would think they had the time to sit and help some girl who lives across the world who they've never met plan a party that they weren't even going to attend?
Nobody would blame them if all they'd done was give me the go ahead to use the logo on my flyer.
But they went above and beyond that.
Did they have the time? Probably not.
But they made it.

And so, as for being "treated like complete shit by the staff", if this is what that feels like, let the abuse continue.

Moving along..

"NO one takes SG seriously. It is considered a joke."

Oh I love this one.
Being a SuicideGirl is really my main selling point as a model. So much so that when I go to events, I just introduce myself as Jeckyl Suicide.
Maybe I've just been living under a rock lately but the last time I checked, it's pretty much the most coveted title in the alternative modelling arena.
Granted South Africa is a really backward country and perhaps further ashore it's lost it's lustre.
But so far in my experience the only "joke" about being an SG is the look people get one their faces when I tell them. Priceless.

"Unless you are one of the few that sucks up to the staff and is featured regularly, no one will ever see a set from you, no matter how popular it is."

I am not popular on this site by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm not BFF's with the powers that govern, I don't have as many friends or get as much traffic to my profile as some of the more well-known girls. I hardly ever get featured on the fanpage, instagram, twitter or wherever else this site advertises these days.
And as for the "no matter how popular it is" bit, I don't even have that under my belt. My sets really aren't popular at all.
So, by this logic, I shouldn't even be pink. The fact that I have TWO set bought is unthinkable!

To break this one down... Yes there are popular girls. but that's not what gets you FP.


I've said this before in a previous blog when I was bitching about Hopefuls (bitching, which is now apparently something people get kicked off the site for LOL):

"It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, what you look like or who you know.
If you make a good set, they will buy it. Period."

I went pink after 3 days in member review. My set had less than 500 comments. I'd barely been on the site for a month.
So no I wasn't popular, I hadn't had time to "suck up to the staff", had obviously never been featured and by no means had the most popular set in MR at the time.

I rest my case.

Look, I get it. Not everybody's experience with this site is the same.
Just because I'm having a great time, doesn't mean someone else will.
And just because you're having a bad time, doesn't mean someone else will.

At the end of the day, this is a personal choice.
So I won't shove SG sunshine and roses down your throat but don't shove hate down mine.

It is what it is. If you like it, stay. If you don't, leave.
Whatevs.

That's all I have to say.

Peace.

I've been really down lately. It sucks.

Anyway, here's some new pictures.






























Enjoy your weekend everyone.

Hello hello...

I'm kinda sad whilst writing this blog but I'm going to try focus on the good times.

This past week was amazing, I managed to get down to the coast to visit my sister and I spent the weekend at a music festival!!

So this really amazing international band came down called Bring Me The Horizon..



Here's a song by them in case you've never heard of them..
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH9Cyu51WdM[/YOUTUBE]

love that song..

Anyway I was fortunate enough to hang out with them this week.

Sorry, no pictures. I know, it sucks.

This is the greatest bartender in the world



There was an incredibly obnoxious french couple at the bar who insisted that he was making the pina colada's wrong.
Luckily, one of the people I was with speaks french and was able to translate.
This couple even went so far as to insist they get the cocktails for free and even wrote the bartender a recipe!!
My friend was so embarrassed it was cute hahahaha

It was insane, I've never seen anything like it

While I was in Cape Town I got to meet Hopeful LuckyLu!




She's such a sweetheart and we had a great time.
Btw, don't forget to check out her latest set

Speaking of SG's, I got to hang out with the awesome Autrum this weekend too!!

We went to a festival called RAMfest



Took a bunch of pics with her..









We saw these really cool phones at the market..





We also bumped into Hopeful Onyski



And some other random people along the way..







We made glitter posters for the BMTH concert



and then went into full on groupie mode when they took the stage..







I did only get pics of the bass player, sorrryyyyyy.

The keyboardist is pretty badass too..





But this man made my life..







Perve away ladies

Anyway, that's it for now..

Hope you enjoyed my week as much as I did!!!

Love you all

Tumblr: http://gennyxxxgenocide.tumblr.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Genny-xGenocidex/206697069362058?ref=ts&fref=ts

Hello hello...

I haven't blogged in a while, and it's not for lack or writing material.

I've really been feeling under the weather lately but I'm going to tell you all about my life anyway.

So, since my last full update, this is what's been happening in my life.

Just before Christmas, I got 2 new tattoos under my bum.



I had the loving moral support of my friend Ashleigh..



and by moral support I of course mean she freaked out about how painful it must be the whole time..

This was the final product:



The one side says "Salvation" and the other side "Redemption".

I'm somewhat religious even though at this point I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to hell.

Let me rewind some more and give you those pictures I promised from the weekend of my birthday..

From my fabulous 21st..



The ever lovely Autrum was there to party it up with me, we even did a Burlesque performance together!



And I got to meet Lalou, she's such a sweetheart!!



Hopeful Onyski also graced us with her bubbly presence..

And it was generally just a load of fun.

Then of course I headed off to the SG Getaway where I got to meet..



Lumo



Arroia



And I got to see Kohana again, I swear she's gotten even prettier..

Same goes for Pyke. PLEASE check out her new set, it's unbelievable!!
(GO TEAM PYKE!)


I also got to meet a new Hopeful Gitane whose set you should all be looking out for because this girl is AMAZING inside and out..

Uhm....

Oh. Right, I went to a traditional wedding..







It was fun




Tried to force my brother to be in a pic with me

Erm..

New Year's was okay I guess. I'm kinda over it now..




Oh! We discovered a Neighbourgoods Market in town!
The food was sooooooooooo goooooooooooood!!!





And it was pretty :embarrassed:







While we're on the topic of food..

2 weeks ago I got it into my head to do another one of those "100% home-cooked meals" of mine.
I must be a glutton for punishment

Anyway it took me 8 hours to cook and this is what I served..

To start: Cream of spinach soup



Served with my special dinner rolls



Followed by a refreshing summer berry sorbet



And then a main of chicken korma with minted basmati rice (I was trying to channel my inner asianness)



And vegetarian korma for my brother and I



I even made garlic butter naan on the side ^_^



And then for dessert I made a passionfruit cheesecake =D



And all in between I was churning out virgin mojito's like it was nobody's business



Mjor kudos to my family for being my human vacuums whenever I do something like this.
In all fairness I'd say they do enjoy it more than me because they sit and relax while I'm faffing about in the kitchen.
In most cases, I barely get time to eat anything because while they're eating one thing I'm busy preparing the next.
But I really enjoy this, the kitchen is my happy place...

Here's some other stuff I made since we last spoke..


Chocolate cupcakes


Pizza night!


And a vegan one for my brother


Baked eggplant


Lasagne


Apple pie


Plum pie


Mushroom soup

After watching one too many episodes of "Come Dine With Me":



My mum's been raving on about minted peas because they make them o much on Come Dine With Me UK so I pulled out this pretty grilled fish fillet on a bed of minted peas topped with a poached egg and hollandaise sauce.
And then there on the side was sour cream and chives mashed potato towers.
I hear it was good, the fish part.

And then I got it in my head that I should make my own mushroom ravioli..
It took me 4 hours, JUST for the pasta ='(



INDIVIDUALLY. HAND. MADE.





It tasted good, but I wouldn't do it again :eep:


And then I made cookies!

Yeah somehow my blogs always end up being about food..

Don't forget my two sets feeling lonely and forgotten in MR

SuicideGirls For Dummies: http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Jeckyl/albums/site/30678/



Sublimate: http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Jeckyl/albums/site/31985/



I loves my sets man, they're my babies

Okay uhhhhm lemme think...

Oh! First photoshoot of the year!









You can find the rest here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.543971038967991.123340.206697069362058&type=1

Did you notice my new hairstyle?



Okay I guess that's it for now.. But I'll definitely have some exciting things for you all soon I hope!

Have a great weekend everyone, I love you all!!

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Hello hello darlings..

It's been a while huh..
Second blog for the year and I'd love to do a life update but I'm really not in the mood.
Instead, I've decided to blog about food.
I find it strange that "food" isn't available as a blog category? Perhaps I'm the only SG who finds the topic fascinating.

Firstly I'd like to announce that as of January 1st, I officially became a vegetarian.
I've been evegatian since a few weeks before that but I thought the New Year would be a nice time to make it official.


Anyway, enough about that.
Here's some of the lovely food I made over the holidays...


Baking

If you're a regular reader of my blogs, you'd have noticed that my particular specialty is baking.
I love it, it's such an awesome creative outlet. I love creating new flavors and trying new recipe's.
Even though I have a bit of a problem following recipe's, it's very boring for me.

Anyway, here's what I baked since I last food blogged in December..


Chocolate swiss roll


A fresh fruit cream cake


Lemon custard slices


Ginger lemon loaf


Cherry cake


Chocolate vanilla sponge cake

Carrot muffins


Some vegan mushroom patries for my brother



And jam cookies...



Desserts

This year my new interest is making desserts..

So, this is what I've made so far..


Russian cream


Passion fruit pudding


Fruit trifle


Strawberries and cream

I've also been practising my meal cooking skills..
Trying to create the perfect home-cooked meal.

The other day I learned how to make pie!



It was really good *pats self on back*

I also got round to learning how to make cream of tomato soup..



And today I made peach sorbet..




Vegetarian pasta


And some other random goodies I've been munching on..









Don't forget to check out my latest set Sublimate.



That's it for now.

Have a great week everyone, I love you guys

Hello hello everybunny!!!


Happy 2013!!

I'm so grateful and honoured to have been blessed with another year of life and another year to spend with all you wonderfully amazing people
Really happy that I haven't been fired off the site.. I hear they're letting some girls go this year.. recession and all that..

I just thought I'd take this opportunity to reflect on the year 2012 and all the weird and wonderful things that occured during my time here in SG land.


A year of SASG's:

A year of alternative modelling:

A year of food

A year of sets:

A year of strange obsessions

A year of body mods

Wow looking back on all this makes me realize just how much fun last year was!!

Thank you so much to all of you for veing a part of it, here's to many more years with even bigger and better memories to share!!

Have a great week everyone, I love you all

Merry Christmas everybunny!!!

I hope you're all dong great, here's a little speed update of what I've been up to:



Eating out



Getting fat at Tasha's



Watching the sunrise



Getting inked



Going to weddings





Baking for Christmas





Baking some more..



Runnng out of space



Baking more anyway



Going ice-skating


And loving you guys!!


Ah and my new set is up now..


Check out Sublimate

Proper update coming soon!

I love you all

Past blogs aside, my heart really goes out to all the families of the victims of yesterday's school shooting.
The thought of what happened to those poor kids is so unbelievable, I can't process it. No matter how many times I see the story on the news.

It's so sad to see kids like this slip through the cracks of society and I can't even begin to imagine how much pain could drive a person to do something like this. But, of course, the real victims are the parents and victims upon which his wrath was unfairly directed.

From the very deepest depths of my heart, I am truly sorry.
You're all in my prayers

Hello hello everybunny!!

This is mostly going to be a word blog.
I'll do a picture blog when I have all my pretty pictures editted.

As you all may or may not know, I turned 21 last Friday. Yaaaay

I just wanted to thank everyone for all you amazing birthday wishes, it meant the world to me.
My 21st was, in a word SGtastic.

People generally say I credit SG with too much in my life but I honestly don't credit you guys enough. I'm sure after you've read my blog, you'll agree.

Firstly, when I joined this site, I was painfully shy, still kinda am. And so, at the beginning of this year, the idea of doing anything other than a movie night with my brothers for my birthday was laughable but what I ended up having surpassed even my wildest dreams and it's all thanks to you amazing people and all the other awesomeness I've met on and through the site.


My 21st Birthday managed to incorporate my 2 very favorite things in the world right now which is SG and charity.
The idea for this came from a conversation I had with some of the Australian members on SG Chat a few months ago about their SG ball.
Having never attended an SG event before, I was insanely jealous. And that's how and why I decided to throw an SG charity party for my 21st.

Having never planned anything of this magnitude(or any magnitude to be honest) before, I was quickly overwhelmed but luckily the incredible Diaz pointed me in the direction of the Local Events planners group.
All my anxiety was immediately evaporated as the party planning was pretty much taken care of. I'd also like to thanks Rambo and Rigel for helping me out so much and not getting annoyed with my constant questions and never getting the flyer right!!

With a great brief about the company, I was able to secure sponsorship's so easily. Honestly, SG advertises itself. Just a link to the site would've sufficed.

So, there I was on Friday night. From being painfully shy to throwing a spectacular 21st featuring the best in local bands. Better than anything I could ever have dreamed.
And for all this, I thank you. From the very bottom of my heart.

I had the wonderful opportunity of partying with Onyksi and Lalou.
On top of that, I got to do a burlesque performance with the lovely Autrum and it was SO much fun!!

And if THAT wasn't enough, early Saturday morning I found myself off to the most picturesque landscape in a quiet town for a little SG retreat where I got to meet and spend time with Kohana, Lumo, Arroia, Talamia, Pyke and a stunning new Hopeful who'll be unveiled soon

After the frantic rush that was Friday night, it was just a great way to relax and unwind. There was nothing but the sounds of the birds and nearby river to accompany the endless laughter and chatter that filled out little cottage.
Lumo cooked us such a spectacular meal and there was never a dull moment. The darlings even bought me a birthday cake


As you can see, I had such a great start to my 21st year and it's quite obvious that, if I removed SG from that equasion, I'd be left with nothing.

So, I just wanted to say thank you. To the site members, co-ordinators and of course, my beautiful Suicide Sisters.


On a side note...

Anyway, I guess that's it for now.
Thanks for the continued love you're showing to my beloved Suicide Girls For Dummies
And here's a link to my fanpage

And another little clue...

Psychoanalytic theory refers to the definition and dynamics of personality development which underlie and guide psychoanalytic and psychodynamic psychotherapy. First laid out by Sigmund Freud, psychoanalytic theory has undergone many refinements since his work . Freud ceased his analysis of the brain and his physiological studies in order to turn his focus to the study of the mind and the related psychological attributes making up the mind, something not many psychologists were willing to do. His study then included recognizing childhood events that could potentially lead to the mental functioning of adults. He examined the genetic and then the developmental aspects that made the psychoanalytic theory become what it was
(Should be becoming pretty obvious by now if you've studied psyche )



I hope you're all having an absolutely amazing week!!
I love you all