at some point you realize how easy it is to walk away. october blues have crept in, and i'm ready to turn my back. my friends remain close to my heart, but i need to go away now. the few that i know, i will continue to know, and hopefully see you from time to time.
i can never seem to escape despondency this time of year. but i need to shed my skin, so this is where i'm starting. my departure seems inevitable, so why keep hiding from it.
au revoir my lovlies.

---end transmission---------------

interpol tickets....check
kings of leon tickets....check
a fresh autumn cold....check
the need for a new pair of chucks....check
a mental boss....double check
a cash register thrown at me...yep
a genuine confusion over what exactly is my top priority, staying in london or my general well being.....check
a tummy that's growling at me for food...yes
new ideas on how to finish out my 3/4 sleeve.....yeppers
a lovely new(ish) person to spend my time with....oh yes
a smile on my face yes, i am a happy girl despite the strangeness in my life right now.
please excuse my journals which have become few and far between. i just find less and less of a need to be around here lately, it's nice to have control of my life for a change, rather than this fucking machine.

i need a hiatus. in a bad way.

every now and again, i sit and wonder why i like to make things so difficult for myself and others around me. why i like to create friction and problems. does it keep like interesting or am i hiding from something? my head and heart get confused too often, and i desperately try to shut off one or the other, i just never know which to ignore.
'logic will break your heart'
yes it will.

it's been a confusing and intersting last week. i find myself sitting and shaking my head a bit.
i'm really fucking tired even after a quiet weekend hidden away.
i had a minor clean up of my friends list, if you were deleted, please don't be offended....it was merely for my sanity.
i'm missing friends at home...and my lovely cats. i miss them dearly. spoke with my mum yesterday and sister...good to hear them.
anyway, i don't have much else to say. i'm a bit boring at the moment.

because this photo cracks me up, i'm posting it again. i have no idea what we were laughing at...but, i guess that makes it even funnier. that's what you get when too much jager is consumed in one sitting.
anyway, i'm feeling a touch better...although a large amount of cash was stolen out of my checking account via cashpoint. so i'm trying to get that sorted.
just want to thank my lovely uk family/friends because they are amazing and i love them - Ciel, partiallyblind, and munch...amongst others.

-downswing- some days....like today, and the few that have just gone. i want to crawl into a hole and hide. my heart hurts, my head is crammed with too many thoughts, and i keep crying.
i'm waiting for my next bout of manic behaviour to pull me out of this shit.

news:

+i'm tattooed, and although it's not quite fnished...i'm already planning my next. will post a photo when i have access to a camera.
+i'm moving again this coming weekend. my own flat!
+work is going better, and i'm looking forward to the bank holiday and settling into my new home.
+modest mouse next week with partiallyblind

nothing else to report at the moment.

something like 48 hours left until i get tattooed this excites me in ways you can't imagine or maybe you can. the lovely Ciel will be my date...i hope she's prepared to keep me entertained throughout the process. should be a good day though.
i'm in love with london's rain. yesterday it completely soaked me walking from one bus stop to another. took less than five minutes to drench me down to my panties. but the grey skies make me feel at home.
so i'm finally gonna get my phone / internet situation sorted. have to wait a few weeks...but it's on the horizon now anyway.
my lovely sunday will be filled with rest, ooh-ing and aah-ing at my beautiful arm, and hopefully lunch with partiallyblind.
i can't seem to stop buying clothes that i don't need. demin inparticular...everytime i walk past a store that sells jeans, and there's a sale of any kind, i am just drawn inside. i think i may have a denim fetish!! seriously. i love shoes....and i have too many pairs of underwear...but i have an excessive / unnecessary amount of jeans, and i don't see it hitting a plateau anytime soon. i have something like....10 or 11 pairs of levi's!!! and a handful of others. i just can't help myself. it's a sickness i suppose it could be worse though.
have a good weekend kids.

whenever work stops being terribly stressful, The Boss feels like she has to pile all of the responsibilities and pressure right on top of me. i moved here to have fun and enjoy myself while working enough to keep my head afloat. and what did i get?? six days a week, 9 hours a day work. silly me. i obviously made a bit of a mistake.
next weekend will be taken up largely by getting a lovely new tattoo i'll do it all in one sitting, it may take up to six hours. but it'll be well worth it. i can't wait.
Ciel read my cards last nite...and as usual, they were eerily spot on. now i put one foot in front of the other and allow things to turn out like they should.
i've not been to sleep before 1am all week. i get up for work around half six....so it makes for a serious lack of quality REM time. tonite, and the rest of my weekend will be filled with a lot of nothing. with the exception of sunday, i'll be going out a bit with munch to wander around camden, eat cheap food, have a few drinks, shop a bit and go to a gig. should be plenty of fun.
not much else to report. i'll post photos of my new ink once i'm able to. hope you all are doing well.