Be brave and be happy that you try. I don't know what happened but (and I am about to become incredibly corny by quoting something I saw in middle school) you miss 100% percent of the shots you don't take. Have fun.
I think you are going to find lots of fulfillment through POC, your baking and cooking, and all that you have planned for that! It seems like you are very passionate about that and I wish you the best in that endeavor.
I'm glad that you're ready to start living again. I think it's time for the Jaxy that has evolved from the incident to come out.
I love and miss you, sweetie. ♥
Sorry to hear about the credit situation, but I totally understand, I'm there with you plus losing my job, plus my business not kicking off as soon as I'd like. Hopefully you'll have better luck here soon, wish the best to you Jaxy!