New Newswire column!

All Tomorrow's (Pity) Parties

This past weekend was amazing, but I'm still totally pooped from it. I'm looking forward to sleeping for about 20 hours straight tomorrow night. More updates to come!

Two new columns:

This one is about crazy labels and artists who are giving away their music for the low price of free.

The previous one is a roundup of track reviews under the general theme of what you might want to listen to when it's sunny out and you don't have to go to work.

Summer has been amazing so far. I'm busy as always, but it's a good type of busy. A lot of exciting opportunities are, if not banging down my door, at least glancing in my direction. Keeping my fingers crossed. I'm impatient.

My old friend Merlin Bronques, who I had not spoken to in quite some time, called me from LA the other day to tell me that he was sending his assistant over to give me $100 for the release of a fairly tame snapshot he took of me many moons ago at a restaurant. Sweet.

Talking to him made me slightly nostalgic for the good times we had together back in the day, when the downtown DJ party scene was still fun in all its absurdity. Contrary to popular opinion, I didn't pose for him out of low self-esteem or a need for attention. I just thought he took hot pictures of me, like this one.



Silly little 20 year old party me.

My favorite n00dz he shot of me are no longer on the internet, and I didn't think to save them. Do any of you pervs have them? I have a purple/blue streak in my hair and there's a mirror involved. They're (some of) the ones that got dissed on Gawker, if anyone remembers back that far to when people still read Gawker. I promise I won't be creeped out.

Oh, 2005. How recent yet how far in the past you are.

So the old cat ran away, and now we're babysitting a new one. We are a fucking cat hotel. The old one was kind of evil, but Theodore is rad, or so he has led me to believe. Look at this noodle!





I get sleepy just looking at this lazy ball of cuddles.

On the 4th of July, somehow a party happened. I thought the roof was going to cave in, but it didn't.



Somewhere in the middle of the drunk, sweaty crowd, a band played epic post-hardcore that made me think of huge, ancient creatures awakening from their slumber to have awesome fights with one another.





A guy I had a huge crush on in college, and who I apparently still have a crush on, was there, but I failed to make any meaningful conversation with him. My crushes are debilitating; my brain shuts off, and I lose all my wit and charm just when I need it most. Next time I won't be such a failboat about it. If I wuss out like this again, a friend of mine has promised to punch me in the face.

This past weekend my ladies and I had a clothing swap, and I got some awesome new stuff in addition to jettisoning some dead weight. I also got a haircut. Then, wearing each other's cast offs, we went to McCarren Pool, where I had words with a girl who'd overheard me making fun of her alleged boyfriend's lack of pants (tights are not pants). She called me '"90s era Gwen Stefani" like it was an insult or something. Also, the fellow clearly drove stick, but I wasn't about to get into that with her. I think I won. Also, I drank a lot of Dewars. Look how happy I am to be drinking free whiskey in the rain.



I'm sad summer's almost over, but fall means I can wear my slouchy boots again, so at least there's that.

How have your summers been?

Notes From the Underground

New column today! Fuck yeah. I wrote about some weird experimental stuff this time, much of which has at least some metal influence. I'll be the first to admit that I'm hardly a metalhead, but the more I learn about music, the more I realize that almost every genre in the world contains some really great bands and interesting ideas that I wouldn't be exposed to if I were all "pssh, I only listen to _______." Read it and click the links, most of them take you straight to a myspace page where you can hear what I'm writing about. It may not all be your cup of tea, but I guarantee you'll hear at least a few sounds you've never heard before, and to me, that's pretty exciting. As per ushe, discussion goes in the comments section. Go start a fight with Rubbersoul.

Hunter from Liturgy is usually far too metal to take cute pictures, but I cajoled him into taking one with me, cause OMG, two Hunters. One real and one pretend. Then again, what's real, man? In to-to, it's pomo.



Can you tell which is which?

I got more tattooing done on my arm. I've actually had more color done since this pic was taken. Also, I bought a onesie. I was skeptical of the garment at first, as I think onesies should be reserved for athletic sports and little kids, but Calamity got me to try it on and it instantly bonded with my body, becoming a second skin of sorts which I don't suspect I will shed until the end of the sumer.



And here is a crappy photobooth taken post-tattooing (I'll post more pics when the whole thing is done). Getting my elbow shaded while PMSing was a bad choice. I may or may not have cried during it. Because I am so metal.



I'm so sick of all this hair on my motherfucking head. When my apartment's trying to cook me, I just wanna shave it all off.

Here's a fun one of my new co-worker and me at a Cutter/Birthday Boyz show. She claims to have enjoyed herself but the lens says otherwise!



Sometimes I think that's a good metaphor for my life. "No, this is gonna be awesome, trust me...!"

I think I'm about to start a crazy screamy dance band and a joke rap group. WTF? I'm super cereal. Watch this space.

I've been getting emotionally antsy again. Being able to get laid whenever I want to has lost its novelty. I wanna go on a nice date with a nice dude who is cute in a nerdy way, likes noise rock and my cooking, and whose intelligence makes me want to read more so I can argue with him. I am starting to think I need to move to Austin or Portland in order to do this. Dudes around here suck when you try to date them, even the ones who are awesome to be friends with. Oh wellz! Music is my boyfriend now. Summer=free shows=life will be ok.

Bite ya later!



NOM NOM NOM

New Music Is Good For You

If you want to know what I've been drooling over lately, check out this month's column. Comments are working again, so go state your opinions on the current state of pop music!

I'm so tired from work-writing that I haven't been much use at journal-writing. Also I've been boring lately. Let's see...

I played a lot of guitar hero the other night, I think I'm getting better at it.

I've got two new roommates who don't speak English very well, I think I'm going to have to teach them. Starting with "don't pee on the toilet seat, you Eurotrash piece of shit."

Just kidding! I love all my roommates.

I need to add some new recipes to my repertoire. I like tofu scramble well enough, but woman cannot live on that alone, and I don't want to get scurvy.

I'm starting to hate my roommate's girlfriend's cat; she left it here indefinitely and it's kind of a jerk.

As per ushe, I totes like a boy, blah blah fuckety blah.

I can't wait for summer, for there will be BBQ's galore. Let's see if I can have one on my roof without the cops getting called.

I want to steal every goddamn dog I see. Someday I will be responsible enough to own one myself. My guinea pig is alive and seems happy enough, so that's a good sign.

What's your favorite summertime activity?

New column up today!


A Scene of One's Own: A Punk Rock How-To (With Todd P)

Read it and leave a comment telling me it sucks. Or if you like it, that's cool too.

I didn't even realize how fucking long it was until Erin told me I needed to trim it to under 2,000 words. There's a lot of other good stuff I got out of the interview I didn't even get to use. That Todd P has a lot of wisdom to dispense! For example, did you know that the New York housing market is going to collapse soon and we'll be throwing shows in ditches where all the waterfront condos used to be? I'm kind of looking forward to that, assuming I can escape the roving gangs of street kids.

I am tired, in a good way. I write biographies all day at work and often stay up late working on freelance assignments. But I'm making a living as a writer, which I still kind of can't believe. I've got some exciting stuff planned for the next few months, too.

The DVD from the Impose trip is shaping up to be really cool...I don't want to jinx it but I should have more to report soon.

I think I'm going to fat around the house and think about sex for a while, then maybe go out for a beer. Yes...that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Star-nosed mole says check ya later!

Ancient History

I realized I never posted a link to my column on here. If you missed it, here it is.

SXSW: Awesome With a Pinch of Lame

Once upon a time in Austin, I interviewed a metal band of children. It was hella awkward. But amusing!
That kid has a one track mind with regards to the ladies.



I also interviewed some other bands, along with Erin Broadley, and that was awkward too. But fun!



I hate my voice. Do I really fucking sound like that? I think I could get more awesome at this with practice. I also think I like my sick voice better than my regular "I'm nervous and gonna enunciate weirdly" voice.

Fun outtake

I asked British Sea Power their opinion on mercantilism and they had no fucking clue what I was talking about.

Not fun outtake

My ex-roommate who doesn't even live here but is still on the lease wants to kick me out of my apartment for having a party IN A FUCKING PARTY BUILDING. I hope it doesn't come to this, but if he persists in this I'm not going to make it easy for him. The thing that makes me the saddest is not that I might have to move, but that we used to be friends. Also the fact that I'm friends with all the people I actually live with and I'd be sad to leave them.

Today in Penetration

I finally had sex. With someone who is really good at it, and a chill dude as well. It's novel to be doing it with someone significantly manlier than me. Puts a little razzle dazzle in my step!

Party time, excellent



Is this a good look for talking to the cops?

Hi porn friends! I'm on the road right now in a sweet RV, covering shows all over the country on the way to and from SXSW. Here are some pictures of my trip thus far, shot by my talented homie Nate Dorr.

Taking pics in Baltimore


Emotional sublimation


Sriracha chili sauce>ex boyfriend


The Impose crew as trailer trash family (note: we are eating spaghetti out of the pot), Richmond, VA.


Ty from Team Robespierre, me in the background, West Philly (drink Redbull!)


I can has sweet potato roll? (Richmond)


The man behind the sweet potato roll


I ♥ Team Robespierre (Richmond)


Parts and Labor, Baltimore


Punk rock kittens, Baltimore


Danger Danger gallery/performance space, Philly


Asheville, NC: our RV almost rolled over on top of this house and off the mountain.


Pokin' smot with my tour buddy from Viva Radio (WS)


Friendly Asheville folks


The lovely Mantis


Man Man!


Lip tattoo, Birmingham, AL (it says VEGAN!)


All-ages punk and hardcore show, Birmingham


In Birmingham, I got to sleep in a room with this creepy ass debutante dress. I wanted to try it on soooo bad. But I did not.


I've been writing about food and bathrooms as I go along...you can read the first installment of Shit Where You Eat on the Impose website. I am disgusting.

My birthday in New Orleans last night was fun...pics forthcoming. Now I'm off to explore the city!

Hey folks! It's that time again. What time? Time to read my column and leave comments. It's on O'death this month. If you don't know who they are, read my column and then you will. If you do know who they are, read my column because you already know they rock and want to learn more about them.

Have been hella busy. Lots of exciting things in the works. Leaving in under a week to go on a three week road trip covering shows around the country incl. SXSW, and making a high profile DVD. Going with the ex. Because we work together on the mag and because I care more about my career than my feelings at this juncture. Womp womp!

Many sexual misadventures lately. Have decided to stop posting about them so much. They are embarrassing. I met the uber hipster. I don't know if he can even exist outside our 'hood or if he magically transforms. There is a slight chance I am dating this person. Will try to take him to the Met or something to test his powers. Highly suspicious.

Stay tuned...

Hey look, I have a new set up. Go leave some comment love! Bewbs!
Oh, and to all of you who left nasty comments about my unshaved/unwaxed/unirritated soft and happy little poon...you can, uh, how you say? ah yes...bite me.

OLD NEWS:
My column is up on the front page today! Woohoo! Read read read it and tell me what you think via comments. The article told me it wants lots of comments. Also if you dig it, perhaps you could Digg it?

What Would Wolves Do?

illustrations by my lovely and talented and all around awesometastic friend Miss Calamity.

I also made a video of my drunk ass doing the interview. Or rather, the funniest parts, which are mainly me not actually doing the interview. Lookit!