Well, of the four states you listed, only Washington has no state income tax, which would be a big factor to me, BUT it also has one of the highest cost of living, so that's probably a wash. Northern New Mexico is really nice (the south is just desert) and while the cost of living is moderate to low, personal income is also pretty low. Virginia just has nothing going for it. It cost a lot to live there, taxes are high, real estate is stupid expensive and the schools cost a fortune, so in my books that would be the last placed I'd consider. South Carolina is a possibility. It's the deep South, so very conservative, moderate cost of living and reasonable schools. However, it's on the coast, so subject to the occasional hurricane, which if you haven't been through one is pretty damn terrifying!

I guess my question would be why you aren't considering Texas? We are a blood red state run by Republicans, so we have more personal freedom than practically any other state. No state income tax, reasonable housing cost, plenty of jobs (one out of every two job created in America has been in Texas over the last 10 years.) A fantastic university system and a diverse ethnic and cultural population. We have everything from mountains, to forest, to deserts, and over 800 miles of beautiful coastline. Texas is without a doubt the greatest state in the union and the only placed I'd ever want to live!!

If I had my choice I'd say WA only cuz it's like the coolest place to go. It might not be the most practical though, it could get expensive up there. Then I'd say NM only cuz you it actually puts you closer to AZ and possibly able to visit and do cool shit here in AZ haha.
VA is a great place, also expensive as fuck. I'd assume NM is the cheapest of the 4 btw

Christ! So this divorce thing is for real? That's so fucked.