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A huge thank you to all those who helped 'Eros' make it to the front page! I'm very thankful for all your support, but let's not forget the master behind the lens, p_mod!! With my money from it I plan on getting a big leg piece done by the end of the year.

I'm back in film school and since I last shot, I have lost a lot of weight. Either from hiking or from being back on the starving student diet, or maybe a combination of both. Working on a film set is a workout in and of itself. Yesterday I had to haul a huge wagon stacked with no less than three C-stands, apple boxes, sandbags, all the lighting gear we were using, as well as some sound gear, up a huge hill to the rental works. And that was just the first trip ...

But I'm glad to be back in school. I like going there everyday, 6AM wakeup notwithstanding.

I got some [yet to be shopped] pics back from Dwam from our set we shot back in May. I'm so excited. Like, holy living fuck. I think Darth Maul would approve.

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Speaking of which, the actor who provided his voice in the film started following me on Twitter and he's babely.

Also Noel Fielding

More life:

















I should probably give my boyfriends' computer back to him nao. So then, until next time,

Harajuku xoxo

PS: what's everybody being for Halloween?

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So of course the hot topic du jour is ... Fan Expo!



What a rowdy weekend! I had a blast hanging out with sexy local ladies Aadie, Ceres, Yulia, Tita, Rydell, Peatrie, Cruella, Alkaline and Femme. I loved being able to meet and interact with fans. You guys are killer!



































I also had fun joining the dark side ...

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Admittedly, I was nearly driven to tears of glee when I met R2D2.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I also worked on a short film with Shanti!







I worked as a 2nd AD on this last film ... basically I'm in charge of making sure that the actors are where they need to be. Shanti was a dream to work with, and a total lifesaver, but getting the cast together was a nightmare .... if I learned anything, it's that I never want to work that closely with actors ever again.

Although I might be getting an internship with production designer David Brisbin this summer! It's still a big maybe, but production design is what I want to do, and I am damn good at it. Send me good vibes, guys? It would be killer experience for me.

I'm finally done my first year of film school. I can't believe it's over already. It honestly seems like just yesterday I sat down in my first class back in September, and some moron sat next to me and asked me for a pencil, and I was like, "bitch, you come to school and you don't bring a pencil? You are a fucking idiot, and I don't think we'll get along at all."

Three months later, that moron was my boyfriend It was only in hindsight that I realized that he didn't really need a pencil. Oh, life.



In other awesome news ... I'm going to be shooting a new set soon with none other than Dwam!! I have a killer theme that I think most of you can appreciate. I'm bursting with anticipation!

Other exciting things:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

This was the last essay of the year ... I was writing about Gattaca and the ethics of genetic tampering, and this of course, had to be my conclusion. And not a single fuck was given that day.

xoxo
Harajuku

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All day every day.


I never understood why this dinosaur is wearing a hat? My theory is that she was
trying to look like Muldoon in Jurassic Park, but she is not a clever girl, she is just ridiculous.




Teacher of the Year (btw, if you look close, you can see this in the background of High Noon )


I got my septum pierced!




I can't believe me and this cutie have been together for four months!










Acid's a hell of a drug.












I bought my first pair of Jeffrey Campbell's recently. I feel I've reached a crucial
milestone in every young girl's life.

Before I leave, hopefully not for three months though, I will say that now that I own a comically oversized hood cloak thing, and a bitchin pair of boots, that I know exactly what will be coming off in my next set ....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Okay, my hood might be a bit silly looking here, but it's not so ridiculous in a galaxy far, far away.

Hugs and kisses!
Harajuku xo

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Yeah.

So I screamed in horror at the utter inappropriateness. My step father pulls it away from me and goes, "oi! That wasn't for you! That was for your mother!"

"That doesn't make me feel better!" I replied.

So I hope you all didn't wake up to mental anguish on Xmas Day.



We are approaching the beginning of a new year. I think back on the past twelve months and I see that the theme of this year was growth; in relation to how I think and feel about myself and people, growth as a young adult, and my own sense of confidence and empowerment.

I can attribute a large part of this personal growth with my involvement here on SuicideGirls. I told this story to my classmates. One of our teachers was this super rad lady who was a former AD on many different TV shows, and every class, she would have people go up and share with us their "inspiration". Basically, what they feel makes them who they are and what makes them want to better themselves. I feel incredibly blessed that I landed in a group of people whom I all really like and feel safe around. So I told them about SG. I feel it's worth telling it here.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I guess the foundation for this all began with my upbringing. It was only my mom and myself, and my mother is an ardent feminist (and when I saw that, I don't mean the kind of feminism where we burn bras and shun all men and say that all heterosexual sex is rape, etc.) I mean more along the lines of sex-positive feminism. I learned that it was fine to want to be beautiful and it was good to not be ashamed of my sensuality, because that's such a huge part of what humans are. But I was also told that smarts and hard work were just as important. Add to the fact that I was very boyish as a wee one, and often preferred to play with superheroes instead of dolls; there was no gender-izing of what I was into and what I wanted.

I learned in grade eight that many other girls did not grow up with this kind of mentality. It was in social studies class, and we were reading a recent newspaper article about the wage gap between males and females. I remember being so angry as we read this, that at one point I just blurted out, "that is bullshit!" (I swore a lot in school, haha.)

This girl sitting next to me in class turns and looks at me as if I have three friggin heads and then asks, with a very affected, uppity tone: "are you a feminist?"

I replied, "yeah. Why aren't you?" I mean, this was something that was going to effect all us girls in the near future. I couldn't understand why more of them weren't angry about it.

The next four years were not any better. There was a lot of body policing, slut shaming, gender policing and just all out horribleness between the majority of girls, and there were a lot of girls with eating disorders. I remember after graduation, I was inundated with Facebook messages from a lot of these girls asking why I couldn't just look "normal" and that I "ruined graduation" because I just looked so "fucking weird". (I had a hot pink mohawk at the time.) Of course, it's hard to take insults seriously when it's all written in shit-for-brains language, but it's what I had to live with for all of high school.

Add to the fact that as a teen, I didn't feel that there were many positive female role models within the pop-cultural zeitgeist (who everyone knew by name), except for maybe Kat Von D. But what I did have were the SuicideGirls.

This would have been about 2006, and me being fifteen at the time, obviously couldn't get a subscription to a soft-porn site. But because this is the internet, I had random blogs to go to to get my SG fix. Most of the time I wouldn't even look at them to get off. But I just thought that despite whatever supposed "flaws" mainstream would say these women had - being of colour, being too "big", having body modifications, coloured hair, etc. I just thought these were some of the most interested and courageous and beautiful women ever.

I say courageous because as a woman, we are subjected to a lot of gender policing and double standards. There is a lot of slut shaming, so to being able to take control of how your sexuality is portrayed in this type of culture, I thought was very brave.

I remember thinking to myself, "man, I wish I was that brave. I wish I was that beautiful."

Spring forward to 2010. It was just after I turned 19, and I was dicking around on Facebook, when I come across a link to the model application of the SuicideGirls Facebook page. I had nothing better to do, so I thought, eh, why not. I honestly didn't expect a reply because I didn't have many tattoos at the time. So it came as a shock when, less than six hours later, I get an email back saying that they liked me!

I didn't have great self-esteem so at the time, that was honestly enough for me. So I left the application alone.

About three weeks later, I get an email again, this time saying "we really actually like you and want you to do a set. We've referred you to Cherry."

This knocked me off my feet. I slept on it a bit more, still unsure if I was ready for it. (I have a lot of scars on my back due to a nasty bout of chickenpox later in life, so I was very self conscious about it. I've since been undergoing treatments to lighten them.) But I went through with it in the end, and I'm glad I did or else I wouldn't be here. And if someone a year and a half ago told me I would be where I am, I never would have believed them.

Around the same time I got into SG, I was reading a lot of feminist literature. I have been learning how to deal with oppressive language and gender specific slurs and and internalized misogyny. I'm really bummed that my university doesn't offer a gender studies course, although my cool teacher who had us do our inspirations is working on a queer film course, which I am definitely going to be taking. As a side note, there are a couple girls in my class who are prospective Hopefuls, one of whom told me that I had inspired her to get into it.

Being part of a community such as this one has helped me grow massively as a person who I always wanted to be. Becoming a SuicideGirl was honestly a dream come true.

In other newsy type things that have been going on: I went to screening for a short film I wrote! It was at a nice swanky theater and all.

For the final project of this semester, we were challenged to make a two minute short about a group of people who make a pact. Me being somewhat morbid, wrote about a Jonestown type cult who commits religious suicide. It was incredibly rewarding to see it on a big screen.



I also did double duty as set dec on this one. We also got the highest grade out of our class for the third project!!

I'm back in school on the 9th, and I can't wait! I did super well on all my exams, but I'm gonna force myself to be more of a keener next semester. We are going to have a production design class, which I am really looking forward to.












I got a new tattoo!!





The rib area sucked so hard. But I'm glad I put up with it and took it like a champ.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Mostly.

I went to a Canucks game.







I saw Brian Setzer live!! Man, that was a treat. Super amazing show, I'd recommend it to anybody even if you're not a fan of Rockabilly.











My boyfriend finally is home tomorrow after being in Mexico with his family for about two weeks. Holy hell I missed him like mad. He's cute as hell and takes me to space centers so we can nerd out together.





I hope 2011 was as good to you as it was to me. Happy New Year, SuicideGirls!



xx Harajuku

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