Hey you guys! STILL BUSY AS EVER! LOVE cosmetology school. For those of you wishing to be models, just send me a message and I will put you in my book of awesome!

Hey Everyone, Im such a bad SG, not visiting enough. I graduated! YAY! Now I am furthering my education even more. I started Cosmetology school this year! Something I have always wanted to do more than anything else. So wish me luck! Hopefully I can be doing your guy's hair and makeup one day! Well just wanted to say hello! Love You All!
XOXO
Godiva

WOW.... long time no see! BUSY BUSY girl here about to graduate. WIsh i have more time to invest here with all my old friends. Here is a current pic, with my friend from school! miss you guys!

xoxo

Its been awhile so i figured id update this.... looking for an internship; have an art show coming up. and this morning i woke up with a tummy ache

I forgot about this feeling... the twisting, the aching, the pounding... I'm definatly not used to this. Break-ups, even if your the one who ended it hurt more than anything. I loved him, I still love him, I probably always will.
BUT i was missing out on so much, the butterflies, the passion, the madly in love part. it wasnt fair any more. and now I am alone, not just at this moment but in the world. Its terrifying. I cant sleep, fuck eating, all i am doing is waiting for the next day to begin and wonder if i can get through it, I need to be in a social setting. BEING alone is only driving me more insane.
Maybe i made a mistake, but is it too much to ask for? not just to love someone but to be IN LOVE with them?
IM A HOT MESS! it hurts, and i know its going to hurt for a while...

i wanna

Well i figured i would post a new picture of myself, seeing how its been awhile....

OKAY~ lets try this one more time... Summer is almost over, it was kinda eventful, here is what i did:

1. I took a couple of photo classes! here is a couple of pics i took!






2. I saw my cousin, i havent seen her for a year, she is seperated from her new husband they just got married in oct. its sad

3. I scheduled an appointment for my breast reduction... dream come true, its dec 18 and im very very happy about it and i thank everyone who commented on my last blog.

4. I went camping; it was lots of fun, rock climbing was my fav part though, im actually pretty good at it.

5. apparently i lost wieght even though when i look in the mirror i dont see it. but at the docs office the scale said i was 10 lbs lighter, maybe its stress or a lifestyle change... who knows

6. I just set up a trip to Toronto in October for a school competition and i have extra days and i have never been to canada... i hope to find some great things to do there

7. I have been working on my artwork here and there....

Thats about it, I mean i went to Chicago a couple times but its so close so that was fun!

wish i had more.... but from now on I am going to be on SG more bc i miss you guys too much, that and i miss all the hot naked ladies

XoXo

Fuck yea i forgot; I moved into my new 2 bedroom apartment but one bedroom in now my studio area... for all my art crap bc it takes up space! isnt that awesome!?!

God damit I wrote this huge entry and then my internet reset.... GRRRRRRR!

im kinda freaked out right now. I know i prob wont be doing any sets for a while. I am considering breast reduction surgery. it has been a dream of mine since i was in grade school to get rid of the weights on my neck and back that made me so self conscious and unhappy. but im scared too, i have so many questions...
what if i dont like the way they turn out? what if something goes wrong? what if my large boobs is what defined me as a woman and its wierd with out them? then again there is an excitement, bras and clothing that fits, not having to look gravity in the face every day (at least not to that extent) the back pain going away and my posture improving (yes they are heavy so i slouch which puts me at risk for a crushed vertabre) not being so uncomfortable with exercising since i used to run and now i never run because well you know... but then there is that fact that all the surgery i have had was my teeth removed and what if it hurts really bad or i have a reaction to the anethesia? if i could make a wish and poof i had smaller boobs i would but this is surgery, i will be unconscious and cut open... which is scary very scary. Then again, in order to get surgery and be healthy i would be quitting smoking which is a great thing after the required seven weeks with out a cigarette it would be stupid of me to start up again, which is good for the health. its something i want, something i probably need, but its a big decision that i dont want to just jump into, when i went to the consultation all i had in mind was just a though in my head of a possibility... but when the insurance said they would cover it up to the next 6 months i thought o shit now this is serious. i am even seeing a mind doctor tomorrow for clarification and insight. i will be making the appointment just to keep a spot open even if i dont go through with it, december before the spring semester. which is so soon it seems. okay after my boring rant which probably should be in my diary and not up for the world to see i hope maybe you guys can help my nerves or give me nice advice because there is no such thing as bad advice considering the fact that just because it was given doesnt mean it must be taken.

much love,
Godiva

Lately I have been feeling pretty unfulfilled im kinda bored, and there are no jobs available right now, the friends i used to have are no longer around and it seems like everything kinda sux. def havent been feeling very confident lately, i dont know whats wrong with me. perhaps its boredom, i miss my best friend cuz she moved away and im kind of depressed. and now i just sound pathetic. what do you guys do when your feeling down? bored? or just invisible? I need some cheering up... lov you!
Godiva