PICS
Well we had tattoo fest at mi casa yesterday! My lil bro got his first tattoo!! I also did a cover up for my man and he did an owl rose on my arm!!! So much fun! This tattoo gun was the Best birthday present ever!
Had so much fun in Laughlin, but alas I didn't not win big 
but I had a great time and thats all that matters!
but I had a great time and thats all that matters! 
Hope you all had a great weekend too!!!
Going to get away this weekend with the honey 
Hope we win big <3 a little good fortune would be nice after all the rain!!!
xoxo
Hope we win big <3 a little good fortune would be nice after all the rain!!!xoxo
We lost the baby. Went to the ER with pains and I guess it just wasn't mean to be. What a great start to the new year.....
So excited we find out if it's a little boy or girl tomorrow!!! What do you think it will be, I am carrying low hmmm.....
hmmm.....Okay I am going to let you guys in on what has happened in the last few months....
WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC CONTENT and LOTS TO READ
On September 7 2011, I found out I was pregnant. September 13 I had severe bleeding. I was scarred! My bf took me to the ER, where I was given an ultrasound and was told I had a large tear in my uterus wall. The ultrasound tech said it's very common and usually corrects itself...but she had NEVER seen one as large as mine! You must have bed rest for at least 8 weeks, or risk miscarriage.... The testing wasn't over
So then I am taken into another room where another doctor preforms a pelvic exam, they opened me up and the doctor said I am so sorry honey, but your cervix is open and miscarriage is inevitable. I asked "are you sure" the ultrasound tech said it was a giant tear???? No your HCG levels are to low to sustain life, I am sorry you haven't passed the baby yet, but you will.
I was devastated!! I kept thinking what did I do??? This is my first pregnancy, am I just not meant to have children?? Is my body defective??? How could this be, does this mean my bf and I are not meant to be? I cried and cried and lost countless hours of sleep. Depression set in and fustration took it's tole on everyone around me that I loved.
I bled for the next two and half weeks. The doctors said since I was only 5 weeks 6days, there wasn't a risk of complication and I could just wait it out at home. Everyone I told at work, I had to UNTELL. It was so hard on not only my bf and myself but our relationship as well. I didn't like the response I got at work either...."it just wasn't your time"...."it just wasn't meant to be"....."you can have another one"!!!!!!
Nov 16....still no period. I read on line about retained tissue and that sometimes the body does not pass the miscarriage on it's own and a D&C is requirred. What happens is the body retains some tissue from the pregnancy and still thinks it's pregnant so a period does not come. Is there no ending to this, I thought??? I don't want to even see another doctors office. I made an appointment at planned parent hood so I could get an ultrasound to see what was going on.
Dec 15.....I arrive at PP and they do an ultrasound. The tech was squinting at the screen and a bewildered look on her face. She pressed down on my stomache and asked if I could feel "that", "yes".
She told me "YOU NEVER LOST YOUR BABY"
I was in shock. There must be some other explination, are you sure it's not retained tissue? The tech replied "there is movement and a heart beat". I said "It must be a new pregnancy???". "No", "you are anywhere from 19-22 weeks. Instantly I thought of going in the hot tub twice, the wine I had, the coffee I drank!!!! How could this be???? Why would ST. Mary's hospital use such words as inevitable??? Why would they say my HCG levels were to low to sustain life???? Why, Why, Why???? The tech looked as if she would cry right along with me. No one could tell me, the doctor who talked to me next said I don't know why they told you these things, sometimes the cervix opens up and closes right away. Sometimes HCG levels drop and rise. Why wouldn't ST. Mary's know this??? Why would they just asume it was certain. I understand not giving false hope, but they could have killed my baby!!!
I am very scarred for my little one I have arranged another ultrasound (soonest date jan 3rd), because PP can only tell you an estimate time of conception and give you options to terminate. It was amazing I got the heart beat and movement out of them. I hope all is well, I've been praying every night.
I just want some answers and it seems like no one can give them to me. Why did I bleed for almost 3 weeks, is something wrong with the baby??? Why would my cervix open and close??? Why would my HCG levels drop and rise??? What is going on??? I know some of you do not condone religion, but please have my baby and I in your thoughts or prayers...this has been a very hard time and I hope this little guy or girl hangs in there and comes out healthy.
I feel this little one is a fighter, if he or she can get through all of this, why terminate now?? I know there are risks of problems, but I feel if this little on can get through all of that, then I have to see it through!
sorry this was such a long post, but it means a lot to me to hear your feed back!!!
Thank you very much for all your love & support
Foxxx
xoxoxo
love baby fox too
WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC CONTENT and LOTS TO READ
On September 7 2011, I found out I was pregnant. September 13 I had severe bleeding. I was scarred! My bf took me to the ER, where I was given an ultrasound and was told I had a large tear in my uterus wall. The ultrasound tech said it's very common and usually corrects itself...but she had NEVER seen one as large as mine! You must have bed rest for at least 8 weeks, or risk miscarriage.... The testing wasn't over
So then I am taken into another room where another doctor preforms a pelvic exam, they opened me up and the doctor said I am so sorry honey, but your cervix is open and miscarriage is inevitable. I asked "are you sure" the ultrasound tech said it was a giant tear???? No your HCG levels are to low to sustain life, I am sorry you haven't passed the baby yet, but you will.
I was devastated!! I kept thinking what did I do??? This is my first pregnancy, am I just not meant to have children?? Is my body defective??? How could this be, does this mean my bf and I are not meant to be? I cried and cried and lost countless hours of sleep. Depression set in and fustration took it's tole on everyone around me that I loved.
I bled for the next two and half weeks. The doctors said since I was only 5 weeks 6days, there wasn't a risk of complication and I could just wait it out at home. Everyone I told at work, I had to UNTELL. It was so hard on not only my bf and myself but our relationship as well. I didn't like the response I got at work either...."it just wasn't your time"...."it just wasn't meant to be"....."you can have another one"!!!!!!
Nov 16....still no period. I read on line about retained tissue and that sometimes the body does not pass the miscarriage on it's own and a D&C is requirred. What happens is the body retains some tissue from the pregnancy and still thinks it's pregnant so a period does not come. Is there no ending to this, I thought??? I don't want to even see another doctors office. I made an appointment at planned parent hood so I could get an ultrasound to see what was going on.
Dec 15.....I arrive at PP and they do an ultrasound. The tech was squinting at the screen and a bewildered look on her face. She pressed down on my stomache and asked if I could feel "that", "yes".
She told me "YOU NEVER LOST YOUR BABY"
I was in shock. There must be some other explination, are you sure it's not retained tissue? The tech replied "there is movement and a heart beat". I said "It must be a new pregnancy???". "No", "you are anywhere from 19-22 weeks. Instantly I thought of going in the hot tub twice, the wine I had, the coffee I drank!!!! How could this be???? Why would ST. Mary's hospital use such words as inevitable??? Why would they say my HCG levels were to low to sustain life???? Why, Why, Why???? The tech looked as if she would cry right along with me. No one could tell me, the doctor who talked to me next said I don't know why they told you these things, sometimes the cervix opens up and closes right away. Sometimes HCG levels drop and rise. Why wouldn't ST. Mary's know this??? Why would they just asume it was certain. I understand not giving false hope, but they could have killed my baby!!!
I am very scarred for my little one I have arranged another ultrasound (soonest date jan 3rd), because PP can only tell you an estimate time of conception and give you options to terminate. It was amazing I got the heart beat and movement out of them. I hope all is well, I've been praying every night.
I just want some answers and it seems like no one can give them to me. Why did I bleed for almost 3 weeks, is something wrong with the baby??? Why would my cervix open and close??? Why would my HCG levels drop and rise??? What is going on??? I know some of you do not condone religion, but please have my baby and I in your thoughts or prayers...this has been a very hard time and I hope this little guy or girl hangs in there and comes out healthy.
I feel this little one is a fighter, if he or she can get through all of this, why terminate now?? I know there are risks of problems, but I feel if this little on can get through all of that, then I have to see it through!
sorry this was such a long post, but it means a lot to me to hear your feed back!!!
Thank you very much for all your love & support
Foxxx
xoxoxo
love baby fox too
I am really excited about "set talk" with Brinly !! We are coming up with some awesome ideas<3
Here are some pics of our newest little edition Sophie
Here are some pics of our newest little edition Sophie
and Calipher my half siamese, there in love <3
Updated pictures of Mortikye, our 8 month old Chamelion
oooh 
if your wondering why such a smile on my face.......
XoX
Faux
Hey everyone just made a facebook lol time to go my space!! sgfoxsuicide@yahoo.com come find me
xoxoxo
foxxx
xoxoxo
foxxx
