PICS
"We spend many hours of our lives pointing out what we think should be adjusted so that it fits some kind of picture that we have in our minds. We berate ourselves with what we think we should be: We should be tougher or smarter; or more aggressive, sensitive, or innovative. But if we try to embrace-not erase- what we're seeing, hearing, and feeling, we may learn something new, or connect to somethat that could increase our ability to be more joyful. It may also jog our own inner creator"
- Loretta LaRoche (Life is Short, Wear Your Party Pants)
I've been on a road to self acceptance. Within this, I've improved my self in so many ways. I'm learning to be happy, to enjoy the smaller things in life. To enjoy the life I have instead of wishing I could improve the impossible. I'm eating healthier, I'm moving better, I'm thinking clearer. I've even started carrying a journal around to record any happy thoughts that I could look back on when I'm down. It's quite usefull. It's also given me the excuse of going to the park for at least a couple minutes so I can write something small and simple. I haven't physically written down my thoughts in so long that it reads like something a 3rd grader would write. I need to start explaining things better on paper.
Aside from that, I'm really digging this two sets a day thing! I've chosen 14 sets I think should hit front page next week:
(day 1)
Marlene-Glitter Monster
Liu-Blowing in the wind
(day 2)
Sucette-Inspiration
Adema-The Opening
(day 3)
Persephone-The Epigrammist
Chrysis-Sunlight
(day 4)
Milloux-Chocolat
Yesenia-Ali's room
(day 5)
Rlei-City of Angels
Toxic-Robots in Disguise
(day 6)
Lethal-Ginger Passion
Ellia-Forbidden Planet
AAAND Day 7 
Plum-Violet Posion
Me-Slow Tease 
Yeah, I think those are some good choices. Also, in the middle of being put into member review is this set that Venom shot of me a while back:
I hope everyone is having a lovely morning/afternoon/night/whatever it may be! Today is Friday! Yayyyy!
I have so much to say, but first I'll start you off with a couple pictures
I met up with Yesenia in the morning on Saturday from a ridiculous flight from San Diego. I got about 2 hours of sleep and so did she. We ended up at the hotel delirious and lethargic, but ended up walking around only to be caught up in a parade. Cat naps and ace ventura until 5 pm when Alissa showed up with BelleBane, Zephyr, Annasthesia, and Yankee and Sunshine showed up as well. I got to shoot with the amazing lady and got confidence as well as tips throughout the shoot. Deffinetly something I'm not use to and a worthwhile experience in shooting.
We ate dinner and later showed up to the venue. Many talks, many laughs, many loves. I nominated myself as the designated candid shooter. In other words, it was my job to photograph anyone with their mouth open, drool protruding, or boobs slipping. If your face is in here, I'm sorry. I love capturing people at their most vulnerable though.
I really love those girls. I mean, every single one of them. I got along with everyone, which is such a strange feeling for me. I'm use to being the outsider, the loner. The one that people stare at but never talk to. Or talk to and I have no idea what to say. There was never a dull moment, and I wish everyone lived closer to me. My life would truley be complete.
Under this spoiler are all the pictures, most of them, some were just of the wall, or someones arm, or well you get it.
I'm so happy to meet everyone, but very sad I was a little shy to meet the rest of the girls. You were either busy talking or it was me from lack of sleep that just couldn't walk up to you, so until next time
There were so many sexy shoots shot this vacation, and I even got to do some shots with Sunshine that seemed like they turned out pretty badass. I really hope we all come together again soon.
Until next time,
I made an awesome recipe today, well PERFECTED IT I mean. It's fat free tiramisu, and I'm drooling at the freezer waiting for it to be done. Recipe under the spoiler
The link to my blog includes pictures if that helps
Tiramisu is by far my favorite dessert. Coffee, cake, and delicious things in between, what can go wrong?
Next Friday I'm flying on an airplane to this:
I'll be sharing a room with the beautiful Yesenia and shooting some sets! I'm in great condition and really ready to be on the front page. I'm trying not to think about all the amazing ladies I'm going to meet because it gets me way to pumped up. I just packed a shitload of things into one briefcase because I have no idea about the weather or conditions. It's a shame they only let you take one carry on, I think that's just plain wrong.
Aside from that, I'm investing in a vaporizor. I'm tired of my throat feeling like a fire breathing dragon after I use my pipe. I'm also learning more about protein and how much my body feels so much better after eating the proper amount. Still learning about being a vegetarian and the food sources I need. Keep in mine I'm allergic to everything hah.
Now for some sexy ladies in member review:
]
Rlei
Moxi
Pyke
Yesenia
Rachelle
Milloux
Chrysis
Lee
Plum
Marlene
There's so many beautiful sets in member review, I hope they all get on the front page. And you know, mine too
Until next time...I give you crazy coffee face
Playing with my hair
Went to the fair
Hanging out with my badass rabbit
Also, thank you some much to for the additional 1% to my set. I'm quite greatful it's doing better, and I truley love getting naked for strangers and not so strangers
The set here, Slow Tease
As for my life, I'm begining to enjoy things. Or, begining to enjoy WANTING to do things. I hung out with friends, went out for coffee, even went to a silly show. Being the sober driver isn't all too fun, but I remember how people had to pick me up and drive me around stupid places.
I'm getting myself healthy and ready for OHIO! I can't wait to meet and see all the beautiful ladies! I've been seeing the news lately with that tornado and it's got me thinking how unprepared I am. I only own one long sleeve shirt, haha. Working out and trying to eat clean. That's what it's all about!
Well, my boyfriend is harassing me with Eastbound and Down so I must go!
I can't seem to get my hair under control. Having long hair gives me endless possibilities, yet I always end up go wild or putting it up. I have little options considering at my work my hair could be grabbed at any moment due to clients going crazy. It's cool though, I've noticed that the change in hair color effects everyone around me in their mood. Many more people come up to me and say hello or smile instead of staring at my tattooes and giving me dirty looks.
I'm also prepping for Ohio!
This means getting flight tickets and reservations under order. Everything written down but not packed yet. Making sure I'm in shape to photograph with Brookyln perhaps! Also a strong possibility Yesenia and any other suicidegirl in my hotel bed
booyahSuicidegirls makes me feel special. No other place helps me like you do. I'm a social retard so having these opportunities to hang out with people like me is pretty awesome. Every girl I've met I've got along with and its so nice to have girls to talk to. Yeah, I have no friends in real life.
Also, I'm really happy about all the comments on my set. Please check it out and leave some love if you haven't already. And if you have, go back and stare at my naked arse
Slow Tease
Some member review sets I think you should check out:
Lee-Northern Wind
Pesephone-The Epigrammist
Troa-Cool Off
Venom-On the floor
Marlene-Glitter Monster
Valhala-Viking Lore
Liya-Peekaboo
Damone-Little Hell
I hope everyones having a wonderful Sunday. My weekend consisted of mall shopping with my mother, grocery shopping, and smoking a lot of weed...Coffee headaches, dishwashing, and talking to my bunny. Next weekend is our town fair. Which means once again I'll attempt to take old fashion cheesy photos but always forget. Sigh.
I took out my belly button rings finally:
and stretched out my labret to a 2 g
Where are all my body modification lovers out there? Even the group is quiet and dead! Click here to join the group
I'm trying to figure out why my current member review set is at 93 % and that's my conclusion hehe. If you haven't already seen it, go leave some love on it right here:
Exning-Slow Tease
It makes me so happy to read all the comments that people write. I don't want to sound repetitive to everyone out there who's written, but a great big THANK YOU goes out to you all and I truley love you <3 You're the reason I'm a suicidegirl, you're the reason why I take photos. I feel honored to be a part of a group that showcases different beauties, and I think plugs, piercings, and tattooes need to be showcased as much as possible.
Other than that, I've been growing little plants
and being sick. No picture needed.
I'll be on tumblr all day
Or on this tumblr
and follow me on twitter
Until next time.
I dyed my hair
to this
Yes! Back to blue. I missed it too much and felt so strange without my blue hair, so im going through the process again. This time, I'm getting ready for this:
I'm kind of way too excited. I bought the plane ticket, booked the hotel, and have the days off. I haven't traveled on a plane since I was way younger, but it was very frequent. I still hate it though, being so jetlagged. Meeting all the Ohio girls isn't stopping me, I CANT WAIT.
I got a tattoo, sorry for the shitty picture. It's a little devil alien I saw in a huge flash art book at my neighbors house. He was having a tattoo party because, well, that's what you do. And play beer pong. But I didn't play, i drank Kombucha tea while my boyfriend got "dirt" in chicken scratch tattooed. I almost fainted while getting the tattoo, which is a first for me. I fainted once, in a dentist office after we are finishing paying up.
Anyway, it was weird. Maybe he was drilling on my vein or something but I looked hilarious, covered in tattoos and almost passing out. I took a big poop and then I was fine. Go figures
And in this spoiler are things I'm enjoying:
I'm getting one of my medications (Klonazapan) lowered starting tonight. I'm collecting miniature pots and putting seeds in them in our window. Still smoking pot. Still trying not too drink. Trying new foods and teas.
Oh yes, and this comes out tommorow in Member review at 7 pm pacific time :
Slow Tease
I think I'm done feeling sorry for myself and restless. It sort of just went away, the same way as it came. I'm not any more productive than I was, but it's nice to have that questionable stress off my shoulders. I've been siteseeing in my town, looking for different places to shoot. I'm scheduled to have some of the girls come over in the end of February but there hasn't been any confirmations. I can't really blame them...haha
I started wondering who would look good doing a multi with. What do you think?
I've been exercising.
Hanging out without clothes
Fake smiling
and staring at you
What have you been doing?
Lately my life has been this:
Interesting right? My life is still at a..stand still? It feels like no matter what I'm doing, I'm restless. Aside from at night when I'm smoking weed and expect to relax, everything else during the day feels like I'm waiting for something more. Like I need a vacation..everyday. I know that's how most people feel but this feels utter meaningless. I keep catching myself ask, "why?" "what for?" "whats the point?" I know it's nothing serious though, I probably just hate the winter. I'm not even sad!
Other than that I'm improving my fitness level. I can do ten more pushups than I could do before. My core is strengthening and I'm actually paying attention to my breathe. Seems like I'm always sore though and never get a break but I don't consider myself workout out too hard, trust me.
I've become obsessed with this recipe for raw vegan balls.
And last but not least, coming into member review soon...
I got to see all these lovely ladies on my LA vacation to sean's house:
It was great meeting the new ladies and revisiting the girls I consider to call friends. It's nice being around people just as weird as me
I had only one glass of champagne and ate vegan pizza. Perving on girls quietly and enjoying the frightingly hot jacuzzi in my underwear. We also went to Necromance, the best store in the world, and I bought these things:
And took some pictures
Other than that, I've been eating healthy, smoking pot, and being really bored.
my weight loss tumblr
my regular tumblr
and this has been moved up to Feb 15:
Stay tuned
