SuicideGirl: Exning
suicidegirl

Exning is flying in a cylon.

I’m private
 
NOVEMBER 18, 2012 @ 07:39 AM


HEY



I tend to over-evaluate my life a lot, especially as the years grow. I saw something along the lines on Shotgun's instagram that said, "If you want to know about someones fears, look at the pictures they take". Something like that. What are your fears? I started to look through mine and it's obvious, as for many women who are in front of the camera or under a lens with people to judge. I take pictures of myself to possible see what other people see, some sort of explanation or answer to who I really am. I try to show everyone pain in my eyes, wisdom in my smile, love in my heart with the photos we stick in member review.

Oh and I lied, apparently I thought thanksgiving was the 25th, but its the 22nd. My set goes up on the 25th. Here's another picture for you to tide you over


*edit* it's December 7th now.


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I did a baby shower order by myself yesterday:

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I'll be doing a lot of cupcakes orders (hopefully) because I quit my job.
I just couldn't take it anymore. The benefits were amazing; I could call in sick WHENEVER i wanted, get all days off no matter the circumstance, and my aunt was my boss. She understood mental health days and having to leave early. She paid me well and I worked full time. However, there are too many dark sides to that field that I do not want to be a part of. There's a bitter resentment people tend to grow, and an abusive personality that I never wanted to have. I don't have that evil inside me and that environment grows like fungi. My family is understanding and loving but they are also manipulative and selfish. I don't want that part of me to grow when I'm older.

So, I have to go back to school. Apparently I'm only a few credits away from getting my Bachelors so im going to be REALLY poor. Thankfully my mother is a college counselor and believes in the fundementals of education. Since I'll be driving hours to my transfer school in Arizona, she will be paying for my gas. Speaking of her...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

She's doing great. Her hairs pretty much all out from chemo and she goes for her second dose on Tuesday. Things are looking good. We've been renovating her house this whole time, which you probably dont care about, but im very proud of.
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New microwave, new stove, we painted the blue walls, primed and painted the cabinets, drilling in handles, purchased new countertops

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I know the yard looks sad but you should have seen it before. We planted grass and created a little flower section. Then took over the side yard and put cedar and cacti.



What else is there to say? Oh! I'll be going to Las Vegas in February to shoot some more sets and get some must needed hanging out. Getting my side piece filled in Monday. Hope all is well on your end.

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Comments
Romany

Romany

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

NOV 18, 2012 07:47 AM

Beautiful pictures! I see you get your loveliness from your mother! smile

hellfart

hellfart

Belgium
September 2010

NOV 18, 2012 07:52 AM

Lovely previews smile And cool pics too, you've been decorating? With your roll of paint biggrin

Light_Bringer

Light_Bringer

Wilson, NC
October 2007

NOV 18, 2012 08:04 AM

One of my biggest fears is fear of not being good enough (feeling "less than"). Ugh.

Catsup

Catsup

HOPEFUL

Reading, PA

NOV 18, 2012 08:05 AM

Ur moms house looks adorable <3 happy thanksgiving

Henika

Henika

SUICIDEGIRL

Slovakia

NOV 18, 2012 08:15 AM

Glad your mom is doing gr8! Nice pics! winkkiss Love the flowers section! smile

Romany

Romany

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

NOV 18, 2012 08:22 AM

Well thank you! Don't think I've ever been told that before but sounds cool!

suispud1

suispud1

Dallas, TX
January 2010

NOV 18, 2012 09:15 AM

Your mom has to be proud. Glad she (and you from the looks of it) are doing well.

TwistedWhispers

TwistedWhispers

Van Nuys, CA
December 2005

NOV 18, 2012 01:27 PM

"I try to show everyone pain in my eyes, wisdom in my smile, love in my heart with the photos we stick in member review."

If you haven't already heard this by now then allow me to be the first to tell you: You succeed!

The emotion you convey in your sets is one of the main reasons why I keep coming back! The fact that you're drop-dead gorgeous doesn't hurt either... Just say'n. blush

Good luck with school and I'm happy to hear your Mom is doing great! ((hugs))

TW-

Delaney_

Delaney_

HOPEFUL

Seattle, WA

NOV 18, 2012 02:54 PM

those cupcakes are cute and your mom is a beauty. Glad she's doing well

Kelpie_

Kelpie_

HOPEFUL

Ellensburg, WA

NOV 18, 2012 02:55 PM

I think it is great about you going back to school, and those cupcakes look wonderful!

Bixton

Bixton

SUICIDEGIRL

Nevada, USA

NOV 18, 2012 04:29 PM

Forget the fake boyfriend, be my girlfriend, HEYO!
No really you're a babe.
And you absolutely have to save some time for me when you come to Vegas! Heck I'll be the creeper in the back peepin' while you shoot your set! <3

mkayal

mkayal

USA
October 2010

NOV 18, 2012 06:33 PM

A job that you lose yourself in isn't a job, it's a mercenary gig. Have fun at school and study hard. I wish you and your family a happy holiday.

legman

legman

Portland, OR
February 2006

NOV 19, 2012 02:54 AM

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovebiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Apolline

Apolline

SUICIDEGIRL

France

NOV 19, 2012 09:38 AM

kiss
Can't wait to see your set, lady. wink
Beautiful pics. love

plumwhite

plumwhite

USA
July 2012

NOV 19, 2012 02:16 PM

All I can see is lovelove
I'm glad your mom is hangin' in there and staying positive. Tell her that she's beautiful enough that she doesn't need the hair (and she looks pretty good in that hat toobiggrin)
Congrats on freeing yourself from a job that you do not love. That, in itself, can be scary but now so many more opportunities will become available to yousmile
I'm happy for you, that you are going to finish school. If nothing else, that feeling of accomplishment will be worth all the work you've already put into it.
I'm anxious to see your new set, the previews look AWESOME!

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