i keep most my post pretty vague, fun and flirty but i think its about time i really talk for once. after all i do love SG and its always here for me. so here it is. a real blog. i left my home in GA about three weeks ago and came back a totally different person with a completely different life.


i went to florida to visit my father a few weeks back so i could help him deal with spending the first mother days without my mom. also to get him packed and ready to move up to my place. i was so happy to see my dad, my old friends and ex lovers. but it was bitter sweet. this year has been the toughest year of my life and thats saying something. i moved out(willingly) at 13 because my parents werent able to take proper care of me. from then on i've been on the move, jumping couch to couch, state to state. im not trying to complaining at all, im actually proud of my life style, how i deal with it and how strong it makes me. i think im actually addicted to the travel and spontaneity now. anyways this year i attemped to settle, its been a really rocky 2011 so far. you'll see, this trip gets crazy stupid near the end and i cant believe this is my life now...


ok so heres my pops. hes old but awesome. and he uses words like over yonder

and heres his scary feet, i bought him the new boots.

he likes to roll his own smokes


family


i miss her so much. isnt she beautiful.

she loved going to bike week, heres a newspaper clip of her from the front page one year.


remember my last bog i mentioned how she liked native american art and that each year id create something on mothers day in her memory. well i found this old plate she had and i think ima paint it next year.

oh and in case you havnt noticed, i finished the wolf. dont laugh its my first ever painting


















i said goodbye to florida yet again and hopped on a plane to New York to visit for a week and shoot with the amazing Brooklyn. i stayed with my bestie Auriga we watched South of Nowhere, drank a bit, walked around st marks place, found a hidden game shop, gave eachother huggles and kisses and had an amazing time together as always. she even helped me put together a pretty sweet looking outfit for my set with Brooklyn. this set wont even be queued until around fall or winter so i cant give any details. you'll just have to wait but dont worry i have a set by ScottSmallin nearing MR as we speak(read?lol)

airport boob











after my shoot on saturday i met up with Moonlil i hadnt seen her since the big apple con. shes one of my all time favorite hopefuls! shes so cute and fun. we just click. we click so well that we were talking and walking right past all our turns haha. we walked about 80blocks that day, 40 of them werent intended first we ran into this awesome german fellow on the streets. in about ten minutes me and this guy exchanged life stories hugged and said our goodbyes. it was great. i love meeting new interesting people. and i love little moments like that.


then minimouse ripped us off for a photo






we went to a hat shop and rapped hats with our heads. one of our favorite things to do together. hats, its where the funs at.








i dont know if you've been through my albums but i once molested a giant mario and sonic when visiting Gonzoe last year...


while walking around pretty much lost all day we found them

and i took the same pics of moonlil. so cute we make you wanna vomit huh









after that we finally made our way over to st marks place to meet up with Auriga for some much needed rest and hooka.

the hidden game shop had these sweet ass buttons

i got "SHOW ME YOUR TWEETS" for Setsuka



while we waited on Auriga we tried on some really cute gothic clothes in Trash. they didnt let us take my camera in but i took a quick snap with my phone in the dressing room.










then the hooka! yesssss.




the dragon

the angry dragon

the freak lol




after dinner and hooka Moonlil had her lip pierced then she headed back home.
i feel bad about making her walk so much but i think she had fun.
oh and we bought I<3NY shirts! we were going to take a pic wearing them together but there was no time. maybe next time..











my last day in new york is where things get really fucked up. it all started normal then the shit hit the fan fast. i went to see my first ever sketch comedy with Auriga and her coworkers, while i was there i tried getting ahold of my husband(yaaa betcha didnt know that one lol) who wasnt answering my calls all day or sending me money as promised so i could get food. i call my roomy and he tells me this crazy story that doesnt add up so im freakin out the rest of the night....even after we got drinks i was tight. the next morning i wake up to a txt that reads "im leaving you. i moved out of davids, you can get your stuff whenever. i just cant do it anymore. you can find someone better" and my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. i was a mess. luckily i had Auriga to keep me focused and level headed. i had to worry about ME now. i had to get home and get a plan together. i was dumped by a txt, potentially homeless, no money, no job, no car and no home for my father either.... and i hadnt eaten in a few days. when i left GA i was 125lbs, on my retrun only 110lbs going home i was worried my roomy would kick me out for sure because my stupid fucking husband stole his car. knowing that david is kind and wouldnt call the cops if returned it within a week. david wouldnt want to hurt me by locking up my hubby. i thank the powers of the universe he let me stay and even fed me! it hurt so much walking into our room, he had stolen all my things. my tv, my computer, even my wedding rings. it was crushing. but as soon as i got some sleep i was ready to help myself, i applied for jobs all over town. i even went down to all the strip clubs, one asked me to start tomorrow night. im not sure i want to but ill try just one night to see. i have a very promising interview at the only adult store in town on wed. i think id be perfect for the job so i hope this works out. plus id get an employees discount. i think the only good outta this is the fact i went to a tattoo shop near my house and told them my situation. then they took me into their family, made me the counter girl and im now starting to finally PA like iv been wanting to for years. doing piercings might help me get rid of some of this stress and anger lol. you might be wondering why all this happened....well he says it was a huge mistake(dur) and that at the time he was busting his ass to make me money for my trip and i was unappreciative, not just then but for a few months. MY MOTHER HAD JUST PASSED BTW! hes so fucking stupid. anyways he felt he couldnt support me right and i wasnt helping him or doing enough either. i admit i could have done more, like im doing now, but i was in a serious depression and got caught up in a really bad routine. he was so wrong to do that to me though. we have been txting and talking occasionally but i havnt seen him since. there it is, my life falling apart infront of me. never thought he would do that to me. never.