i think im going to see my doctor, i think i have panic disorder. not fun. ive realized that these attacks are more frequent and i think its time to bring attention to it.

other than that, im going to school in 30 min to rub people down all night - sexy... i love it.

xoxox

i did my first 1 hour shiatsu massage on sunday, it was awesome getting my hands in there and working. i love it. im so happy i made this choice.

anybody want to be my practice dummy????

i never got my cards read and now i feel even more confused then i did before. hopefully some light will shine on my situation.

maybe ill get some ink, that always makes me feel better.

getting my cards read today, maybe then will it point me in a direction.

its HALLOWEEN!!!!

yay for my spooky halloween party tomorrow night...so excited!!!

i aced my first test for massage therapy...yay

BUT, lots of confusion going on in my head involving other stuff....ahhh, hopefully will be figured out soon!

going camping!!!

its 5:10 am, getting ready for work although i dont want to go. i made a scrapbook for my coworker cause its her last day, i hope she likes it.

mark wants to move in one year (right when im done school), i told him id move but to give me 2 years...he said 2 years is too long, then i said 1 yr 6 months and he said thats too long. i dont think hes being fair, hes not compromising with me and i am. he said he doesnt want to stay here for me and resent me for it. so i dont know what going to happen with this. am i not worth waiting for???? he said that if i dont want to go hes still going. so where does that leave us? i dont want things to end by any means but i dont want to move so soon. heres my reasons. 1. im just gonna be done with school, i want to be comfortable with my career before i move far away. 2. my brother is coming back from iraq in may or so and i dont want to leave right after. 3. my sister just bought her first house and i want to be here incase she gets pregnant or what have you. i think my reasons are understandable.

k...gonna go watch some tv before getting dressed....

went to school today, got familiar with shiatsu. its so awesome, all the pressure points that help with anxiety, sickness, headaches, anything you think of there is a point that you can touch that will help. we also learned how to balance out our chi. i think once im done with my massage school, and possibly throughout the year, im going to read on reiki and possibly more on shiatsu so i will learn more on the holistic healing. imagine, being able to put your energy into someone to relieve them from pain. i cant wait!!! we also learned what element we are, out of water, wood, fire, earth and metal. ive noticed that i have all the good characteristics of a metal person with the bad of fire. somehow the compliment each other i guess.

earth: spleen and stomach
characteristics:
- nourishes and supports others and their causes
- likes to be involved and needed
- agreeable and accommodating, seeks harmony
- sympathetic and considerate
- good in roles as a counselor, teacher, therapists, chef

problems with earth imbalance:
- meddlesome, overprotective, clinging
- scattered, overextended
- lethargic, hopeless
- slow thinking and speaking, frequent sighing
- sweats, bruises easily

metal: lung and large intestines
characteristics:
- likes structure and authority
- respects virtue, is honorable
- works methodically, is disciplined
- likes definition, precision
- works well as an accountant, military personnel, medical practitioner

problems with metal imbalance
- autocratic, strict, dogmatic, self-righteous
- formal, distant and withdrawn
- grieves excessively
- muddled thinking
- stiff joints, dry skin and hair, shallow breathing

wood: liver and gall bladder
characteristics:
- seeks challenge, works well under pressure
- resilience, strength, skill and competitiveness
- loves action and adventure
- confident, assertive, ambitious
- good in positions of leadership, exploration

problems with wood imbalance
- intolerance, impatience, anger
- depression, frustration
- over-disciplined, self-indulgent, tyrannical
- reckless, aggressive, driven
- vascular headaches, muscle spasm, cold hands and feet

fire: heart and small intestines
characteristics:
- relishes excitement, loves drama, sensation
- very intuitive, imaginative
- optimistic, charismatic, empathetic
- devoted, delights in intimacy
- effective as fund-raisers and brain storers

problems with fire imbalance
- excitable, agitated, frenzied
- grandiose, neurotic
- absent - minded, insecure
- speaks rapidly, laughs inappropriately
- palpation's, insomnia, rashes, nervous exhaustion

water: kidneys and urinary bladder
characteristics:
- self contained and self sufficient, introspective
- seeks knowledge
- candid, objective, ingenious
- likes to work behind the scenes, anonymous
- good in positions such as project planners, architects, historians

problems with water imbalance
- emotionally inaccessible
- fearful, isolated and undemonstrative
- tactless, unforgiving, inefficient, suspicious
- forgetful, timid
- deterioration of teeth and gums, backache, leg pain


what are you????