My surgery was a complete failure.

I woke up in the recovery room feeling as if someone has used my breasts as punching bags, with a brace wrapped around my torso laying on a recliner and blankets wrapped around me. After about 20 minutes of slowly regaining consciousness and having a machine take my blood pressure every 5 minutes, the nurse informed me that the doctor was unable to remove any fat from my breasts.

She said, "The doctor is very disappointed. He tried and tried but couldn't get anything out. I'm sorry."

I laid there in a daze as the anesthesia wore off and cried silently to myself as nurses walked by and ignored me.

So there you have it. After all the excitement I've been feelings for the last few days...after years of planning to have this procedure done....after preemptively shopping for swimsuits online, wondering which size I would need, it has all come down to this. Nothing but sore, bruised tits and a stupid brace I have to wear for several days to a week. And for what? For nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Out of the kindness of her heart, and having to have a breast reduction herself in her 30's, my mom paid for this procedure for me. All 7,420 dollars of it. The only good thing that came out of this experience was that they refunded a good chunk of her money, but still kept 2,650 of it. Almost 3 grand....completely wasted. I feel awful. I feel like I just poured her money down the drain. And my breasts look and feel like death. And when they heal, they will still be exactly the same size they were before I stepped foot in the doctor's office.

I am so fucking disappointed...this was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life. I was finally going to have some relief from these stupid weights I have to carry around all the time. It felt so good knowing I would finally be able to buy bras from regular retail stores and not have to specially order them online. It felt good knowing I could get a cute new swimsuit and not some ugly thing that I always end up getting stuck with because they don't make cute swimsuits in my size. It felt good knowing that when I'm not posing for SG, people wouldn't gawk at me if I walked down the street in a tank top.

Now I have nothing to look forward to, except getting a regular breast reduction which will leave horrible scars on my breasts. Avoiding those scars is what lead me to choose a liposuction reduction in the first place.

I feel so helpless.

But thanks to everyone that has wished me a speedy recovery. Even though I've gotten nothing out of this I do still need to recover. My boobs hurt. I'm just so upset that they hurt for nothing.


And for those of you that are curious, here is what they look like.