Thank you so much Elara for saying all of that. I am conflicted about what I think about this. I think the thing about male energy is really important to remember. It doesn't just apply to actual MEN in the pictures. It means that this site can never become a place where we're just girls pandering to the male costumer, bending over for him, doing what would please HIM. I joined SG thinking this would be a place where I could do sets that pleased ME, and not ever feel pressured to do any more or less.

I think there's a way to make it through adding some more hardcore content without compromising the ideals of the site. I don't know quite how, but I know it involves not letting anyone demand things of the SGs, of regulating, i guess, what "kind" of people get to have a heavy voice on the site. I was so scared that someone was going to say in response to Sasha's set, "the rest of you girls should do like she did, it will make you more 'hot'". It hasn't happened yet, but i know there are members thinking it. I think as long as people who are thinking things like that don't get to make the decisions or pressure people, we might stay on the good side of that fine line.

I hope so, because I do love SG, and I don't want it to fall apart.

When I was younger, I would've said the same as you, I was shooting photos from the age of 18, very heavily, and I wouldn't have even remotely entertained the notion of doing work as risque as I would now, but you know, as you get older, you DO get jaded, on certain levels, dignity or otherwise.

But what you realize, I think, is that you are either cut out to shoot porn, or you aren't, on some level. I adore you, and what you have to say, always have, I adore that you question things, and say fuck it sometimes, on some weird level it makes sense to me... but I think you need to be really true to yourself. I mean, you ARE really true to yourself, so that's great. I just hope you've not done anything that you regret. You have to realize that some people are pleasers though and that there is nothing wrong with that. Sexuality is inherently a give and a take. You give, you receive. What about a woman who enjoys being girlie, who enjoys wearing a little Catholic School Girl skirt and banging herself? Who enjoys giving that to someone, to others?

I don't think it conflicts with female friendly porn. What I think conflicts with female friendly porn is when men, or women, or anyone at all, tells the female (christ, the male, whatever, the person shooting the pictures) what to do, and you KNOW that is not how it goes with SG. I've shot all sorts of things that could be construed a number of ways, as I explore what I am and what I like, and also as I challenge people, hopefully, with what they like. I've done everything from little girl to dirty whore to I'm going to kill you you fuck to dirty old man (they aren't all up yet, obviously), and I find these type of roles very interesting. Perhaps sometimes I'm a bit more of an actress then a model? It would make sense... while I get misconstrued, I WAS trained as an actress for so many years and years, my entire childhood into adolescence, when I just became a dirty fuckup haha.

It's not vain, what you are doing, if you do it for both yourself, and the pleasure of others, you know? I'm from a Hindu background, and part of the Hindu faith that is integral is service to others and the placing of your own ego out of the way, sometimes playfully so, for the aid of anothers ego. This is pretty advanced, ingrained stuff, so it's not like exactly easy to explain. It's not vain if you do it without attachment to it.

It's sooo hard to synopsize what I am trying to say, and why I am trying to say it, but I think staring at naked girls on a computer screen is inevitable, look at the Greeks, I mean, porn has existed since ass sex was put on pottery!

I've always felt that I shoot nudes because I am the perfect person to... not because I think I am attractive (frankly I have never thought I was anything short of flat out funny looking...), but because I can play any role, because I can put on any outfit, because I truly delight in the audience delighting in me, and nothing about it shames me or bothers me in any way. To me that is very empowered feeling, that nothing anyone can do or say can hurt me. It's something that comes with age, I think. I think when you can lay yourself on the slab with the entire world looking at your naked body, at yourself in a position of being spread-eagled, and yet not whored, I think that's psychologically a powerful position, because seriously, WHO IS IN CONTROL?

And things will always be in the eye of the beholder. One can look at this site, or any site, or any thing, in any regard, but ultimately none of it's real... it's whatever you put on it. I already know no one can take away my dignity THEREFORE I can put on a little skirt and flash my clit and say whack it asshole, whack away, you know? It doesn't matter. And on some level I love them for it. And myself, for not caring, for giving any fleeting moment of pleasure I can to another, it makes me feel less selfish. I don't believe in being selfish.

And I don't believe in doing anything one is not comfortable with. Some people don't need to shoot nudes, psychologically. Their soul doesn't care and their ego isn't on that path, it's not in their Dharma at all... it's just individual. Perhaps you are one of those people? I want you so badly to do what is best for you... that's why I'm sort of rambling on and on. Somehow I always worry about you, that you would do things you wouldn't want to when you are clearly a strong and brilliant woman, frankly your intelligence is impossible to disguise to the outside onlooker. So if this is not a challenge, or if it does not feel right, you should really consider that. But don't lay judgement on those who do otherwise, as any artists motives are difficult for the viewer to discern, and thus we get into the discussion of what is even art, and what is not, and you come to artistic intent, always, and you have to have humility there and realize that even with porn, even with dirty smutty horrible fuck me I'm a whore porn, that you don't always understand intent. Although, yeah, 95% of the time that's so obvious, with those chicks. But with this site, feh, I mean, dontcha think we are all here for such varied reasons?

In my case, it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.

Peace, Elara, you seem like such a great person. Do what makes you happy! Shit! You don't need otherwise! I wish I could say this in person, my inflection and enthusiasm and smiles and gesticulations are lost entirely in this post, but trust me, are there.

What really bothers me about the debate that's going on on SG is a lot of those who say that it won't matter if the site goes hardcore are missing something VERY important: there are SGs, lots of them, who really really don't want to site to go in that direction. There are SGs who don't even want to BE here, if that happens.

Doesn't that make ANY difference to people?

I also don't think this site is pandering to men, right now. For one thing, aren't there more female members than male? For another thing, the girls here are doing as they please, because they want to, not to make some "audience" happy. I respect what Dia was saying, but I disagree, I am different. The "audience" is not what i'm here for. Every friggin' person on this site could say "hey morgan, do a set with a dildo", and i'd tell them to fuck off, unless I some day decided i WANTED to do a set like that.

This is not a place where women are starting off porn careers. We're not learning how to be good little porn stars. We're trying to enjoy ourselves. I think the second lots and lots of people start making demands for hardcore and we give in?...then we become hardcore, THEN we are pandering, and THEN...i leave.

I mean, think about it, there are sites around that started out like this and gradually became hardcore. You can look at some of the girls on those sites and they look so bored. This isn't what they wanted to do. But in order to stick around, they HAD to. God, i hope that never happens here.

you know what, i'm being misunderstood.
read the AWAKENING by KATE CHOPIN

i'm a little sick of patriarchal norms you know? i mean, there's a serial killer running rampant around the country right now because of that shit. not to mention the war on iraq, the war on terrorism and the war on drugs. blah. whatever. who cares.