PICS
Today on my way to work I fell flat on my face in the middle of the pavement. Well I guess not quite flat on my face as my school girl grazed knees and gravelly palms testify. Everything went a bit slow motion, slow enough for my brain to chip in with 'hey wow, this is gonna hurt!' and slow enough for me to notice the spindly branches creeping around the trunk above the roots of the tree pushing through the concrete in the ground int he place that I was about to acquaint with my face, but sadly not slow enough for me to spin some magical bullet time jiggery and spin myself athletically through a full figure of eight, backflip, dismount and back onto my feet.
A whippet thin lady with a stress strained face dragging a little girl in pigtails reluctantly to school and a man pushing a buggy leading a trio of rowdy boys stopped to help me up and ask if I was ok, help me gather my belongings which were scattered about the pavement and dust me off. I assured them in a sobby snotty quavering voice that I was fine sorry fine fine thank you so much sorry and then hobbled to work where I burst into big wobbly sobs and had lovely Rachel, designated first aider, sit me down and pick stones out of my hands and slather me with Savlon and ply me with hot sugary tea until I manned up and stopped crying like a four year old in the playground.
Obviously I'm fine, I just tripped over, I haven't done that quite so spectacularly since I went to Glastonbury years ago and tripped over the strap on my tent bag - unable to put my hands out to break my fall as I was carrying so much stuff I face-planted beautifully on the train platform in front of hundreds of people.
My left palm is really disgusting looking, it has chunks of floor stuck in it but hurts too much to remove them and I can't use my hand which is a proper pain in the, well, palm. And my knee is a violent shade of puce with marbled violet inflections and a lovely graze across the centre.
But basically my point is, this morning I was trying so hard to be at work on time and after all that, I was two minutes late. And had I not been hurrying I wouldn't have fallen and I wouldn't have slowed myself down and I wouldn't have been late so I should have not bothered to bother in the first place. So I guess what I'm trying to say is fuck going to work, do something fun instead.
MAY 20, 2009 03:44 PM
MAY 20, 2009 04:45 PM
Aw, I did the same thing a couple of months ago, so I feel your pain-- I don't know how, but I caught one foot behind the other as I was about to step off a flight of stairs (coming down) and realised straight away there was nothing I could do to break my fall except bend my knees and stick out my hands... Thank God it was only off the last step.
It's a weird feeling, helplessly watching yourself falling, though-- everything in you says "Surely there must be Something I can do?!" and yet you watch the ground getting closer and closer and prepare for the worst...
Hope you feel better soon-- plenty of cups of tea should see you straight 
MAY 20, 2009 08:16 PM
MAY 21, 2009 03:18 AM
Oh wow! I hope you're ok now.
Yeah, you're right...fuck going to work in the first place.
Get better soon. 
MAY 21, 2009 01:27 PM
That was actually physically painful to read. I'm really squeamish and I kept doing this whole body wince thing that hurt in a weird way.
I share your pain via your descriptive skills, I'm sorry and I hope you heal up fast 
MAY 23, 2009 04:19 AM
MAY 25, 2009 10:20 AM
Once again you have brought laughter to this sometimes too serious face, feelings of "Ooh, ouch, you poor dear" to this rubbery heart and a desire to ply that scary sounding knee with love and ice.
and for what it's worth, I'll take that advice and will pedal my fat behind down to the theater to watch the Girlfriend Experience, then gather with various friend and oddballs, geeks nerds and other assorted human flotsam to play at trivia this evening over iced coffee. 
And not work
MAY 25, 2009 03:23 PM
JUN 01, 2009 09:07 PM
JUN 05, 2009 10:33 AM
JUN 14, 2009 03:49 PM
Oh boy! Not good. Hope your poor knees and palms heal up quickly
JUN 17, 2009 09:48 PM
Hope you're all healed now. I can feel your pain (not actually meaning that, that sounds stalkery) I managed to fall arse over tit on some ice, couldnt break my fall properly due to carrying my CD cases and lay there on the floor thinking "oh god, what a tit, but the moon's lovely tonight"
two days later, i found out i had a broken collar bone. 
(waves hello)
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