I can't imagen your life now.
You have been in my thought and dreams in all my days. Your influence is a constant in my life. Every time I drink I feel you inside me.
Who am I to deserve such love, I am undeserving of the love you give me. My love for you backfires turning inside me eating at a soul, an insect. I am never empty with out you. And when I become deserving of your love I will shit it out and let it run through my fingers and really get to know it. Every drink I take it's you, the poison in me. My liver, close to my cunt, you are inside. With each new infection I know your at home inside me.
I think of you and see a home. I think of you now and see a face covered. I want to say you important to me and I want you to believe it's true. I want you to think of me once more before you die. I want you to think of me on your birthday I want you to think of me only on your birthday.

Howdy Suicide Friends and Fans,
I'm selling my unmentionables and other personal belongings. Special requests SHOULD be made, give me something fun to do in Salt Lake City when I'm all alone late at night. Don't worry, no request will be to weird. E-mail me back for more info. What do you all think of the new layout of SG?
I now have a paypal account.
Have Fun-24
Debra Jean Danger

All I do here is write and play guitar. It's fantastic, a dream come true. Complete and total focus on the important things in life. I think I will begin a short story after I'm done with this letter. I don't know if it will turn out, I've never tried to write one before. The only social outlet that I have here is sending letters to my friends, this is changing the way that I write. It's become a fluid thing almost like talking, but without the stutter.
It's been snowing the past week, turing the urban sprawl into a pastoral paradise. At night the sky is the color of the bruises on your knees you wake up with after a night of drinking. People sit on there front porches laughing, making delicate sounds instead of the usual strident crap, as if they are afraid there words will freeze, showing them how ugly they really are.
I hope things are going well for you, I think of you fondly.

Snow makes suburbia pastoral, a cleansing sprawl on the land. I can make shapes in the snow that sound psychedelic when you hear them. Snow families spring up on front lawns as if transported by magic, or the modern equivalent of magic, computer technology. I can walk for hours at night, an never see another, and if by chance I do, we are comrades, braving the winter chill, trying to spend the night alone in another reflective paradise..
.

I left portland on Halloween morning, arriving in NYC that night. I spent a week there, surrounded, on all sides.I went to Cavestomp, a psychedelic/garage weekender. Turning on during The Creation was a religious experience, and seeing The Kaisers for the first time was well worth the price of the ticket. All together I was left with a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to NYC. To be very concise, i'ts a big fucking strip mall. New York is history, I want to be somewhere history its being made, not coddled.
On to Bisbee, a small border town on our side set in the most stunning desert in the USA. I let the mosquitoes eat my blood, so that when I left I would have bruises to remember the summer by. The summer, slapping my face and calling me a slut for moving on to fall, how sweet.

Every thing is coming together nicely. On 10/31 I arrive in New York City, on 11/6 I arrive in Tucson and on 11/11 I arrive in Salt Lake City and there I will remain for the winter. A winter of writing, playing, and drinking, every bit of it alone. I'ts nice to be alone, sometimes i'ts the push. Right now saving money is what I do, hopefully, I will have enough to eat on this crazy trip.With Shirley in front of me, Keith beside me, and Danny having my motherfucken back yo, I've got to have fun-24.