I was in chat for about two seconds. It scared the fuck out of me. I typed "Ahhhhhh, technology!" and left.

I'm even socially awkward over the internet.

All is not fail, though, because I can scratch "try something new" off of my day's to-do list.


To Do:

(X) Dance
( ) Clean the castle
(X) Try something new
(X) Make a necklace for the girl
( ) Do something to my hair... anything
( ) Send happy thoughts to the BFF
(X) Watch Avatar



I like a girl.

She rides bikes. She blows glass. She is a cancer. She is patient with me. She has a doggie that looks exactly like my dead doggie. We are extremely compatible kissers. I could kiss her all day... except we might get dry mouth or have to take a potty break or something.

I made her a necklace.

I'm going to ask her to go steady.

Today is full of possibilities.

Eat some mushrooms and join me at 15:12.

Freak the fuck out with me at 15:46.

It makes my skin crawl and inspires new peals of gross-out giggles every time I watch it. My friend Dashi is begging me to stop playing it.

OMFG DO NOT WANT PLEASE JESUS NO

At one point we were stoned. So we ordered pizza.

But when the pizza got here, we had already eaten mushrooms. Our hunger has been lost in our high, but the pizza is still useful. We're surgically removing its parts and laughing at them.

I don't know why tomatoes are funny, but I'm laughing anyway.



I totally had this moment when I thought I was totally sober, but then I looked at a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup with a coffee stain on it that seemed to start growing and breathing and shit, and apparently... this makes me giggle and blush.



Tonight is a night dedicated to living

RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW.


The conditions that you just existed in one second ago will never be replicated. You will never be able to live that moment again.

Isn't that amazing?



I'm laughing at things sort of the way a baby would.

Maybe babies feel high all the time.



Maybe I should only write blogs on drugs.



(This is where we would have inserted a *picture* if we didn't just break the webcam)







Hello, world.

You're so amazing.

I'm just usually too sober to notice.




I totally just remembered that I can look at naked chicks on this site.

OMG.

Bye.

My awesome switch is firmly in the "on" position.

Guess who isn't dead yet?






I had a beer with a cute girl today.

I'm becoming good friends with a certain ex-raver SG member.

I found a dollar in my shoe.

Life is treating me well, friends.

I'm watching the episode of Full Metal Alchemist where Martel is killed inside of Al's armor. Good god, I almost cried.

I'm a horrid house guest. My host is sleeping, and I'm sitting here laughing and crying and carrying on in their snuggie. Good thing said host sleeps like a dead baby.

One of my exes got engaged, and there was a party last night. I got wasted with her parents and smiled a lot. Now my cheeks hurt and my head is angry.

I want nachos.

A while ago, I wrote a haiku. I dedicated it to my best friend, who was deeply honored.

::ahem::

finally valid
my hatred for mexicans
and mexican swine

It is tentatively titled, "Oh, Shut Up".


This one came to me on the bus last night. I hope you like it. It came directly from the armpit of my soul.

lady on the bus
i can smell your vagina
get that shit checked out

I think I'll call it "Scuba Diving".


/end blog

Some days I miss waking up with someone. Even if they do have foul breath.

This is definitely one of those days.

Ask me tomorrow, though, and I'll swear that someone else wrote this blog.






Oh, well. Two girls gave me their numbers yesterday. I can't wait to see their bed head.

Guess that kitchen, SGC!

I just woke up. I'm dying of thirst.

See you later, SG.

Hey.

You.


Entertain me.




I'm web window shopping.

Lusting.

If money were no object, what one thing would you buy right now?




I'd buy another bow.

Any Bleach fans out there?

I don't think I'll be able to stop saying "Exacta!"