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Y'see, every boyfriend i've had hasn't left me cuz he met someone better, or got caught out cheating. They all simply just left me. The "all" in that statement sounds like there's been a lot, there hasn't. There's been 2. And 2 others that meant quite a lot, so i guess 4. And they all just left. If they'd cheated i'd have a legitimate reason to be cross, and feel hard done by. But they didn't. The only common denominator in all these 4 instances is me. I seem to simply be not enough. That is hard to stomach.
I don't intend to air my dirty laundry for all to see, but i'm confused. I'm really confused. And everything i know just got turned upside down, and i'm delicate.
I had a lovely plan for this weekend, and rather than sit at home and mope, i did my plans, on my own. It wasn't as lovely as anticipated.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and the reason isn't always clear. I know i need to change things. But i don't know where to start. Hence the confusion. I just don't know anything i thought i did.
APR 04, 2009 01:55 PM
APR 04, 2009 01:59 PM
Hug, I think you are an awesome woman. It's sad that there are men who can't see your worth but I'm sure they are not the norm. 
I have a lot of trouble starting relationships. Women seem to not like me that much.
Be sure to check out my blog and listen to my message!
APR 04, 2009 02:01 PM
APR 04, 2009 02:13 PM
APR 04, 2009 02:33 PM
There may have been some things going on you didn't know about. There's not a thing wrong with you. 
Hopefully, someone better is right around the corner.
APR 04, 2009 03:22 PM
APR 04, 2009 04:39 PM
APR 04, 2009 04:47 PM
APR 04, 2009 05:31 PM
APR 04, 2009 07:47 PM
APR 04, 2009 10:23 PM
APR 05, 2009 02:27 AM
I know that feeling. It's not cool.
It does pass though, and you seem like a thoroughly top girl, so give yourself a bit of time to sort things out in your head. Take good care of yourself and lean on your friends a little if you need to.
Btw, I've been talking with your namesake again. I'll copy the good bits of the conversation to you when this goddawful hangover passes a little.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
United Kingdom
August 2006
APR 05, 2009 02:31 AM
APR 05, 2009 05:38 AM
APR 05, 2009 06:14 AM
I know exactly what you mean. I never saw my last breakup coming, and she was all "Are you mad? Things have been fucked up for ages". Not that I buried my head about things, but shit was obviously turning over in her mind for a while, but she didn't tell me and by the time it came out, it was too late to fix. So I feel your confusion.
Good that you have good friends to help. Laughing is terrific therapy.
I'm good. Being 30 is fine. So far I found out that in your 30s, you can still:
1. Climb trees whilst dressed as a Mexican.
2. Sit around slobbing all day on a Sunday without being told off by anyone.
3. Continue to shirk some responsibilities.
4. Allow the washing up to get out of control before finally tackling it.
5. Generally carry on and behave like I'm half my age. 
Daisy convo in the spoiler.
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