im having sex again, but also arguing the whole time. sigh. i dont know that i can hack it in the relationship business. i push people away, i get wierd and i pick fights. i thought it would stop when i met the "right one" but theres no chance. im not changing anytime soon whether id want to or not. i wish i could keep my mouth shut, but that gets me in trouble too. i wanna bang my head against the wall, but im not much into the exhaustive drama of it all anymore. im just tired. i wanna go to sleep. its what i do and all i do when things get too hard. its a cop out, i know.
girlfriend in a coma.
(those bastards in highschool didnt know how right they were! haha adam kalakowski and mac 10)

what am i looking for?

my boyfriends fuckin sick again. im not an insensitive bitch, but i havnt had sex since thursday. isnt that why we bother to have boyfriends in the first place?
jeeesh- know ur role!!!

i cant wait till summer vacation. being a teacher has those perks, im just tired of this same routine of mine. tired of rushing to the second job then being too tired too do much else when i get out. at least in the summer if i do camp i'll be outside a lot and get out way earlier...time to straiten my hair and do the whole makeup thing.
i wanna be sedated

xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

hey there
whats up? yseturday i got a new tattoo, its been about two years since the last piece, i just havn't really been inspired.. anyways its sweet. i nevr got any words inscribed but now i sport some sweet script, inspired by some joan of arc i read a while ago. it looks good with all the rest, and its such a fitting quote fer me. pictures soon
and i got highlights last week. its spring now and i always feel the need to chameleon again
its sunny today and i get to drive around my old hometown, its been a decade at least. ah memories..

i once was lost, but now im found

dunno where i've been, but now i'm here so deal

im getting a new tattoo tomorrow, and my friend just got engaged! what a funny ass life we lead

looking for summer jobs.....

dont call me crazy-or do, who cares- but i am glad vacation is over and regular shit starts up again tomorrow.

i was just so lazy and sloth-like the whole time lying around watching endless tv and drinking wine bottle after bottle. a little of thats good but me and my boy got on each others nerves and towards the end all we did was fight. plus, you always think you'll accomplish so much, and yet it always amountts to nothing!

get back to work, get back to pay day-- its all about the money baby

christ. i'm gonna get snowed in tomorrow??
it never ends in new england...

got to do yoga with my mom this morning, i miss our gossip sessions around the track at healthpoint. summer was good in that way... its funny how at the time you think life sucks but when you look back on those days you realize how lucky you were. and you remember only the good things mostly. my memories are wierd like that.
whenever i get the least bit unhappy or anxious about my life i automatically go back in my mind to a time i remember as being so much more fun (than it actually ever was). i dunno if i can ever be happy in the moment when it seems im always lost in the past and blindly denying the inevitable future.
like my current relationship. its great 99.999% of the time. but ever since we had that first fight last week, ive been second guessing every single minute of it all. waiting for the other shoe to drop. i never believe things could just simply be good in the here and now. will i ever be able to relax in this life? other than SVU i'm incapable if focusing on anything

i'm dog sitting with my bf for my crazy neighbors who live across from my parents. wierd! funny to have sex bent over someone else's sleigh bed. haha. while watching dumb and dumber there are so many cool places you can do it when its not your house, or mansion rather.

yay easter peeps are in the stores now!
bunnies make me happy