In 2003 I became a suicidegirl. I was 21, and Suicidegirls was still fairly new. There were maybe 300 of us. It felt really great to be a part of something different, something daring and underground. As the years passed, SG only got bigger and more successful. So much controversy surrounded the site. So many girls left. Some of them were my friends. I always kept mum about it because I really felt that when you sign a contract, you should know what you're signing. SG had become a large business. The deals were not always seen as fair. But, that's often the way the cookie crumbles ladies, so if you don't like what you're reading, don't sign!
In my case, the contract I signed, the website I joined, and the proud feelings I had to be a part of it all, no longer exsist.
I stuck with Suicidegirls, because I liked the community. And, when the community got so big that I could no longer keep track of it, I stayed because I thought maybe I could still get something more out of it.
After all, Suicidegirls was certainly still getting something out of me.
But, now the time has come for me to leave. Not only have I outgrown the site, I no longer agree with it's terms and practices.
Suicidegirls was once a site that made me feel empowered and appreciated for my uniqueness. But, five years, seventeen hundred and ninety six girls later, the effect seems to have worn off. As a matter a fact, I actually feel exploited! I have seen this site through so many updates and transitions. Only one of which I have ever disagreed with. That was, the new "Member Review" option.
Generally a suicide girl will submit a photoset and after review, if it is accepted, she is paid and the photo's are posted on the website. The "Member Review" option, allows a girl who's set has been declined, to post it publicly on Suicidegirls without being paid, in hopes that enough members will vote for her. After winning, if she is lucky enough, she will be paid and her set will go live as an official Suicide girl set. As for the other girls, well, they just gave away the cow for free.
I think my issue here is obvious.
I 100% disagree with asking any of us to post our nude photo's for free. I feel that Suicidegirls has made quite enough money at this point, and asking a girl to pose for free, disguised under any blanket, is inappropriate and is in fact exploitation. Unfortunately, Suicidegirls has become so big, and has become such a status symbol for so many young girls, that they believe in the guise presented to them - That, this is an "opportunity", and if their set is declined, Member Review, is still and "Option".
I disagreed with this new "option" as soon as it was implicated. But I have grown increasingly more uncomfortable with it, as it has become very clear to me that "Member Review", is most often, the only way to have a set bought nowadays.

Which begs the question,
for every photoset that is actually paid for, how many photosets are Suicidegirls getting for free?

My last three sets have been declined. The first time, I opted to shoot a whole new set.
The second time, I risked member review as the photographer, upon my request, promised to take the set down if it didn't "win". I did in fact end up "winning", and I was paid a few weeks after several hundred members and staff, viewed my nude photo's for free.
The third and final time, I requested that my photographer submit my photo's only to staff review. And, that it was made very clear, that I did not wish to submit it to Member Review, AT ALL. In turn, I also sent an email to the model co-ordinater, as well as a co-owner of Suicidegirls, indicating my uneasiness with the Member Review process. As well as, my desire for Staff Review only. I received an impersonal and seemingly uniformed email the very next day. Letting me know that my set had been declined by staff. But, to not feel discouraged, thanking me for being a great addition to the site, and advising me that I was welcome to resubmit to Member Review!

I am tired of feeling pressured into submitting my nude photo's before being paid for them. I feel exploited and disrespected. I feel like I am not listened to.
But I also feel like my opinion still matters, regardless of how big Suicidegirls has become.
Unfortunately Suicidegirls does not seem to agree.
So, I am leaving.

I will not reply to comments, I will not post another journal.
I will also not inform staff formally of my thoughts or feelings on this matter, as they apparently do not seem to listen or care.

I do however, want to leave you guys, the members, with an explanation as to why I am leaving.
And of course a little taste of what Suicidegirls said no to.

XOXOXOXO
Cricket






Photography by: Napalm
Hair and Make-up By: Janiece Gonzalez skalywagxrock@hotmail.com

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