Damned insomnia. It's plagued me for years. And at 9:13am now, many people are getting up at this time. Well I've never been one of those, always more vampyric in my nature, usual sleep for me is the 5am or 6am to 2pm or so pattern. But then there's these nights; asleep at 4am, back awake at 6am, and still, in limbo here, clearly not rested yet completely unable to go back to sleep.
Tonight it was a disturbing thought. Just couldn't put it out of my head until I was wide awake and obsessing over it. The problem with me is that I'm extremely perceptive, and keenly observant. I pay close attention to things that are said. I piece things together. Things that are of interest to me stick in my head, even if isolated from a separate incident in the past. And tonight, all of this has led me to the conclusion that there is a strong possibility that two people who are close to me are also lying to me. Of course, I am also aware that on occasion I read too much into things, and work myself into a paranoia only to eventually discover it was not as I was imagining.
But as of this moment, there's enough little pieces of this puzzle seeming to fit together and show me an ugly picture. Because there's nothing worse than being lied to. And so unnecessary. I'm the most open minded and easy going type of person, and I can handle most anything as long as I know what's going on. But it's the thought of things being kept from me, those types of things that everyone has the tendency to lie about because they think they have to, that infuriate me. I'd prefer brutal honesty any day over a polite lie.