If you people can't learn the difference between "your" and "you're" I'm going to have to cut your fingers off. (That way you won't be able to write or type that shit out and profess your dumbassery.) Also, please look into "were" and "we're", and "threw" and "through". Every time I open the front page to see a blog that starts off something like,
"I went threw the mall the other day..."
I die a little. It would be one thing if you were speaking English as a second (third/fourth/etc.) language but you're not - I checked just to torture myself. Given, I do make the occasional typo or misspelling - but threw means to THROW SOMETHING. Past tense! How exactly are you people getting through grade school?! It's sickening to a point I'm beginning to become not just pro-choice but pro-lots-of-abortion; because advocating education in an age where kids are rocking iPods and idolizing twats like Lindsay Lohan isn't going to do jack.

Kill them babies! KILL!!!

(You realize this is sarcasm mostly, correct?)




Another thing that's peeving me is pervs. Or, well... men. At my last opening I was sent a bouquet of mystery flowers. Of course everyone was all, "Who's it from? Who's it from?!?!" before I could even get the card open - peering over my shoulder. And of course, it's from a "friend" that apparently wants to be more than a friend. I start throwing a fit because A. this person should know by now I'm not interested, B. sending "I love you" flowers to an event is NOT COOL, and C. another friend chimes in to say - "Well I could have told you that a year ago." Damn to the hundredth power.
Moving on the subject B: we've been good buddies for about three years now. One night I see him at the bar and he's all plastered and he convinces me to go down to another bar with him to grab a quick drink, and then drove me home. Three hours later I wake up to a text that reads, "If you're ever down for casual sex I'll fuck you so hard it'll make you scream." At first I think to text back, "I'm going to ignore this on account of you being shit-faced and we won't discuss it again if you forget it tomorrow." Then I think - no, I'll leave it alone and maybe he will forget it completely. And then I get to thinking later, WHAT?! You don't say that shit to your friends. I mean, I've done some stupid things when drinking - but never, ever, ever has there been a drunk dial/text to a friend like that.
There are more incidents with more friends but those are the two most noteworthy lately - the bottom line is that all of my single male friends are jackasses. None consider the consequences of what they say to me; none consider that every sexual reference makes me extremely uncomfortable; none consider that drinking is not an excuse to act a damn fool.
I'm tired of taking the things that people say for face value when I have feelings that say otherwise; and other times writing words off as fleeting moments of ignorance when they're all too repetitious.

And it should be noted - I don't blame men entirely. I watch both sexes interact everyday and each complain about the other. The fact is you're all just perpetuating the cycle. Think before you do. (Each other.)

...I wonder how many chaste SG's there are. I wanna know - someone get me numbers.

I was afforded the opportunity to yell at students today. After three minutes of "put things away properly; clean up after yourselves - I'm not your mother and this isn't a daycare; and don't leave extension cords in buckets of water, especially while they're FUCKING PLUGGED IN," I was met with blank stares - and then laughter. "Ahahaha, who's stupid enough to pull a plugged in extension cord out of a bucket of water?" I don't know - what kind of idiot would put one in a bucket of water would have been a more appropriate inquiry I would have thought, but what do I know? I'm the cord puller - my opinion matters not.

I've figured out what's going on with my teeth; just stress grinding combined with TMJ. It's only been this bad one other time, a few years back, so I had forgotten what the signs were. I knew this morning when I woke up and could barely move my jaw from the pain and had lost hearing in my right ear. I'm going to start icing my face tonight and popping pain killers like Amy Winehouse on holiday. I suppose I'll also start wearing my retainer again. Ergh... I hate it. Was five years of oral appliances not enough in grade school?! I guess not. Could be worse; if my dentist had his way I'd be wearing some newfangled contraption that, from what he's described, is the size of a mouth gaurd used for sports and I most likely would choke on in my sleep somehow. "But it will keep you from grinding, and you know, one of these days you're going to break teeth if you keep this up!" Yeah, fuck you doc - dentures are gonna be the new grills.



This made my day:

Oh, rectalface - he makes me laugh.

I'm drinking on a school night - obviously things are not going well.

Things actually starting going shitty sometime yesterday evening, when I started having horrible mouth pain and looked in to see what I believe to be a cavity in one of my molars. If I'm correct it's the same one that broke in half a few years back and had to be sort of molded back together with... I don't know, whatever dentists mold teeth back together with that isn't a full replacement. In the first place is there was a small cavity there that was filled, but thay didn't drill all the way and it rotted in the center and broke in half while I was drunk and eating a Nerd Rope. (I haven't eaten Nerds since either.) I'm scared that this is happening again since that whole side of my mouth hurts; but this time I have no dental insurance. And no money because my car is still fucked up! Woohoo!
Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up with a horrible gut wrenching that steered me into the kitchen to start guzzling juice (I figured I needed sugar) but ho! Toothache city mother bitches! I then began chugging water; and then ran to the bathroom for fear of regurgitating both fluids. I was too worn out to deal with all that however and ended up pulling up a trash can to bed and fell asleep with my head hung over the side of my pillow into the can with a fever. AWSOME.
Today I discovered electrocution. I was working in the studio and looked over to see the end of an extension cord in a bucket of water. I pulled it out and grabbed some paper towels to dry it off when *SSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZCCCCCCHHHHZZZZZZ* I felt my hand go numb, my arm, then my heart and chest start to seize up. After pulling the cord out of the wall I then proceeded to look for anyone in the near area to scream at for being stupid enough to put a fucking plugged in electrical cord into a bucket of water - but no one was around. Lucky them. I couldn't feel my arm for a couple of hours and my hand almost all day. I've been drinking for an hour so I really couldn't tell you anymore, but we'll get to that in a minute.
I got a PigBoy finished (how, I do not know), had my evil co-worker help me clean up the studio since I was crippled and he feared my anger, and headed on home.
At home I noticed how nice it was out, quiet, and wanted to play outside so I didn't even bother going in the house. I decided to first clean out the pond filter since it hadn't been done in about a week. Do squids live in ponds? I guess they do here - because I think that's what I cleaned out of my filter. I did get a good look at it after all since it shot out onto my face causing me to trip over a cord and fall into the pond. Yay bacteria! Since I was already disgusting I figured I'd pull up the pond lilies and see if they needed... well, whatever they could need. I had forgot that their canister is razor sharp and the edge sliced open my hand. ...gouged actually. Luckily my hand was still numb so I didn't feel it - just a lot of blood and fear of infection. But I moved on to weeding the garden, cleaning up the lawn, and re-hanging the decorative lights along the house. By the end of this I aquired three new gashes as well - and how, I couldn't tell you. Mad skills?
And then there were dishes... and yes - I broke my little glass tea pot that someone bought me when I had pneumonia. I loved that tea pot.
Even after all of this I was still cool. I went out on the patio and smoked a cigarette, listened to my neighbors having a Rascal race - shouting at each other (true story), and chuckled a bit. And thought how nice it is that I have a clean pond, flowers growing in the backyard after years of work, and a new patio table put together with pretty lights hanging above it!

Until I came in and looked at my biology exam score from Friday...

F



F!!!!




FAIL!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




For the record, I have never failed a test. Well, probably in high school during the year I did an experiment to see whether weed actually affected GPA (also true story, and yes - it does); but never in my college career. And now I'm so angry I'm drinking on a school night and writing a blog about it. Totally not typical me behavior - but I am pissed.



It should probably be noted that I found out today that I got a full ride scholarship for next year.


BUT I'M STILL PISSED. ...and possibly drunk.

Maybe the problem is that I've been learning biology from Eddie Izzard?




...this has nothing to do with science but it cracks me up!

And yes, I'm completely drunk now.

I was watching this video at work the other day, actually - showing it to the head of the department, when the history professor came in...

he peeped over the screen and said, "And this is exactly what is wrong with your generation."
To this I replied, "You're trashy! Heyyy."


I finally finished the PigBoy mold.



I used this image for the first slide of my scholarship portfolio application - rock.



And now time for an Auntie Claudette rant:

There's this guy I work with that's slowly driving me to insanity. He applied for the show I recently got into and was rejected; when this happened it was an entire week of non-stop bitching. And not just bitching - the day he found out he actually e-mailed one of the professors and threw a shit fit asking her to send him a list of who did get into the show, which she obliged. When I came into the office that day that same professor was there and congratulated me on my acceptance, to which he threw a stack of papers across the room. Later that week when he saw the show flier he went on to express that to get into shows he would obviously "have to make drivel to be accepted into these sorts of events." But oh, of course he didn't mean my work. Yeah, nice attempt at a save dumbass. Did it not occur to him that if he had to make "drivel" to get into one of these shows he might be making horse shit now? Fuck no. This is the same guy that told a friend of a friend that he was "the best artist in the department - hands down". Who says that? And who says that without thinking it's going to get back to everyone? And who says that thinking it's not going to get back to everyone and we're not going to try and make his life miserable because of it? Again - dumbass. So then we're filling out scholarship applications and Mr. Pretentious says, "If I don't get this god damn scholarship this whole department is going to feel my fucking wrath!" And something about "being just another gay boy that gets fucked bloody in the ass by the big spiny dildo of society" tra la la - shoot me in the head - it seriously goes on in this sort of ridiculous manner every second of every day so I won't bore you with the quotes for fear of you wanting to hang yourself as well. Moving on...
Top five reasons I'm going to punch my co-worker in the teeth:
1. He has re-taken every class he has failed (which are plenty) sometimes MORE THAN ONCE to get his GPA to honors status because mommy and daddy pay for it - and then criticizes me for mine not being as hot constantly.
2. He is doted on by my supervisors who take him everywhere with them, buy him lunch everyday, and I don't get anything and have never said a word. (I have feelings too damn it!!!)
3. His art is shit. Always this Resident Evil rip-off biohazard meets neon bullshit that people have told him to "make better" or "change" to which he recoils, cowering down into his sketchbook, and keeps slapping biohazard symblos on dildos and condoms. (Dildos that sit in the office where people come in and look at me like I'm some fucked up sex crazed lesbian - AWSOME.)
4. I beat him out of a fullride scholarship last year and he went through my file to try and dig up dirt on me, which he somewhat did (we round up my GPA by .1 - ...yeah), and wrote a letter to the department head (that had told me to round up the GPA in the first place!!!) to try and strip me of it.
5. Mother fucker also wrote a letter to the head because another student had help making her powerpoint for her portfolio on the scholarship app last year. He also dug this information out of the files while at work. (Which could get him fired if I chose to say something - but I'm saving all this for a rainy day.)
I know, you're wondering - "why haven't you already just choked a bitch?" - it's complicated. But mainly, I'm not going to play into this dramatic game of bullshit; I'm better than that. I hate going into my work everyday and knowing I'm going to be met with uber-drama. The last thing I want to do is stir up my own. I'd like to think in the grand scheme of things that will work out in my favor. ...if it doesn't - well, let's just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Plenty of rainy day tricks indeed...


And now I can't get that Planet Unicorn theme song out of my head - Heyyy!

Hell week (cont.):

I found out in the later half of last week that the Cruiser needs new bushings/cables and a new water pump which will cost about $900. This does not include the mystery oil problem. I say "mystery" as it has been looked at by three people; it is not leaking or burning - so my conclusion is that it is eating Syntec like it's going out of style. Thus I must bring it in every 500 miles now for a check up to make sure it has sufficient fluids. I'm thinking it's time for a different vehicle. I can deal with parts - but when there are mystery engine problems I'm not happy. Especially considering my mechanic said this is "typical" for Chrysler vehicles, hinting that my car is a piece. I've since been looking around for a Toyota, so far to no avail; at least not in my price range. (But hopefully something will come up.) One plus is now I know that I am in fact not a shitty driver - the grinding gear sound every once in awhile is just my bushings needing repair. ...yay? Since I learned to drive stick on my own a couple years back I've been very wary of my driving capabilities, but it looks like I'm doing alright. I mean, I haven't burned out a clutch or anything eh?
I hate cars.

I actually just hate technology. My computer is also doing stupid things - but it's a Dell so I'm sort of writing it off on that account. It could also have something to do with the incredible amount of music liberation I take part in not-so-legally; which I've knocked off as of late. I need my computer too much to screw around. Though it's killing me slowly - I need music to work, and I'm used to having two new albums a week. Wtf.

Speaking of work, I updated my portfolio today - so here's some stuff:

Old World Chickenbabies










Dreaming - Encaustic, Collage


(detail)


Baseline Variation - Acrylic


(detail)


Flying the Friendly Skies - Collage, Mixed Media (Piece for show themed "flight")


(detail)




Bahahahahh eheh heh, oh dear - that's good stuff.

I burnt myself with a soldering iron four times yesterday while trying to sprue up some wax. Later, I fell out of my chair in the basement onto the concrete floor. Possible due to lack of food consumption all day; but who has time to eat when you're working sixteen hour days? (Again.) I got home around 10pm from school and phoned a friend to come over and help me with my biology lab because it was confusing the hell out of me. He gets here, we're working on it, and the internet goes out. (Keep in mind the lab is due by midnight.) I call my wireless company and an hour and a half later they assure me it's not my computer, the modem, it has to be something else that can't be fixed until today. I sent my friend home, called another night-bird friend and went to his house to use his laptop, then was up until 3am doing the lab.
Today I shoved a dental tool into the palm of my hand while working on a mold. Again, hadn't eaten, wasn't really on my game. It went into the muscle and it's really puting a damper on things. I can't wedge clay, I can't grab certain tools, and it hurts like hell to have to shift my car. Oh, and this was after I had over-fired a kiln - one that had a piece that's supposed to be going into a show this Friday. So after I finished pouring clay into molds very quickly to prepare for a "just in case" chickenbaby that might need to be made in a 48 hour rush, I walked into the bathroom and had a bit of a freak out. Sort of a "Fuck, I just rammed a god damn clay covered blunt object into my hand/I'm going to lose my fucking mind from stress" attack if you will. I didn't get home tonight until 10pm, worked out, took a shower, had time to microwave a veggie corndog and eat a snack pack, rant this, and now I'm going to bed so I can get up tomorrow and 9am and start this bullshit all over again.
With a fucked right hand. (I'm a righty btw.)


...sigh.

Hay fever - stop fevering me! ...bitch.

I wish I had something to rant about. I wish I had something deeply (or even moderately) interesting to write about. But I have been working so much all I can think about is my daily routine.
Get up eat
work out
study
go to work eat
go to class eat
study or make things
laundry/dishes/cat box/n=muck the pond
Sleep

That's it.

You don't think it's that bad? Really? Oh, there's proof. I special ordered my dad's birthday present a week ago, a first edition copy of The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, got it on time and called him today to wish him happy birthday and see when I could drop it off. Yeah, his birthday is MAY 27th. He laughed at me so hard I though he was going to shit himself. I suppose that was also part of his early birthday present.

Damn my eyes itch.

I have to get my car into the shop at some point because it's making a strange noise and I have to drive it three hours to drop off the chickenbabies on the 4th for their show on the 11th, which I once again have to drive three hours for. Oh, and that's three hours one way - six hours round trip. I am not fucking happy about that shit. (Note extensive cursing.) I'm also trying to draw up lesson plans that I'm supposed to propose to the big gallery here for a teaching position this summer. I don't know what I'm doing. I have an idea, but I have to get every detail ironed out - I mean, down to every cent of every supply that will be used - and sent to them tomorrow evening at the latest. Did I mention that they also offered to keep me on at the university through the summer? Yeah, so I'll be at the university, and I'm trying to get a teaching position at the gallery, and I'm applying for summer courses next week. ...and I'm still finishing what I'm doing now.

My eyes it's SO BAD. Fuck you ragweed!!!

Time for biology. ...and lesson plans. ......and bed. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two of my pieces made it into the show!





We're on the move baby!


I know I haven't really posted anything else that I've been making lately so here's some of that while I'm talking about art:

vintage glass beads, glass beads and calcite on gold jewelry wire with gold plated clasps


garnet, tigers eye, jade, jasper, and opal on jewelry wire with sterling silver earring findings


glass beads on gold jewelry wire with gold filled earring findings


Oh my, E. coli - brass on leather cord with silver findings and clasps


Currently, I just finished one two-piece mold, one three-piece mold, and I'm still in the process of finishing a five-piece mold. I hope to have these finished so I can begin casting new work by the end of next week. However, I'm also supposed to have the one wax piece I'm working on for advanced metalsmithing ready to go next week. That would have been all well and good except that I burned through it last week when I was smoothing out the back to finish it. ...yeah. Now I have to start from scratch and do seven weeks of work and have it in on Monday.
What's that old expression? When life gives you lemons, trade them in for a bottle of vodka? Something like that anyhow.
I should probably quit diddling around on the internet and get my ass back to the books/plaster/clay/wax. Hope everyone who's on spring break is having fun - unless you're like me and doing non-fun things like cleaning out your shed, sweeping under furniture, and doing homework - then you should probably see about that vodka too.

Images that have been submitted for an upcoming show I'm trying to get into:







I have many things to rant about - but I need to sleep now so that I can get up at an obscene hour in the morning (a few hours in fact) and cram for an art history exam.


Hope you kids are playing nice.

The roof on my house is leaking despite the fact it was just replace a few months back - costing me over 4 g's; thus causing water damage to the ceiling in my office.

I chipped a chunk out of a chickenbaby while shooting photos of it for a show submission today - which means I have to figure out a way to repair it before it has to be driven up to the show. ...somehow.
While shooting said photos I was pulling down the backdrop, stepped off a table, and ripped the inseem out of my pants in front of the sculpture professor/my boss. Humiliating. And the pants were brand new - this being their third wear.

There is something wrong with my car. I don't know what because I don't have time to take it to the shop.

I don't have time to take the car to the shop as I have a play I'm being forced to see tomorrow for a theater appreciation course I'm being forced to take, while studying for two exams I have on Friday, while getting things ready for this Art Institute show submission, while trying to keep in contact with all six of the people that are now my advisors for getting the preparations in place for the masters program I'm applying to, with two of my shows opening this week and next, while still going to work and classes and even eating and sleeping somewhere in there.

Every time my car clunks and the brown stain in my ceiling grows I want to go screaming into the hills. Not even metaphorically - I live in the hills, and I'm to that point.


The only good thing that has happened today is some kind graphics student took pitty on the site of me walking around with my underwear hanging out, holding a broken chickenbaby, and looking like shit because I haven't slept well in weeks and taught me how to actually use the lighting equipment in the studio AND my camera. Big ups to that guy. Considering I've had my camera since December and had only figured out the basics of it; and he showed me how to use every feature on it in ten minutes so I'm pretty stoked about that.

But it neither fixes my roof or my car.
Fuck.



I'll upload the pics I took that will be submitted to the show once that nice graphics boy edits them for me on Friday. Until then, someone figure out who the fuck cursed me and let's see about getting some couter-curse voodoo shit going on. Seriously. This has to be the worst run of luck I've had in years.