PICS
I've been realizing it might be time to move again.
And a conversation yesterday put the thoughts into overdrive.
And a conversation yesterday put the thoughts into overdrive.
What are onesies made of – the ones toddlers wear. Cotton? Fleece?
They get this particular hoarseness, rattiness, .. when they're washed too much. They get rough and thin, in a way that allows you to feel every bone in the body of the tiny person you're picking up and holding, or hugging, .. placing on your lap, tickling, wiggling around, whatever. It's this special fabric that belongs only to two- or three-year-olds, when they're ready for bed. When they're squealing and running around and trying to squeeze just another half hour out of things, just another show .. so desperate for more time with everyone, they'll even watch the news and swear they're interested.
I can still feel it. I can still feel my brother's tiny rib cage when I hugged him goodnight, and the way his skin was all rubbery and childlike over it. He felt was like a big, water-filled, hyper-ticklish rubber doll with excited eyes and a cow-lick. And cornwall blue footed pajamas.
I miss that kid more than anything.
And finding pictures like this, and then the sensory memories that go with it ..
It's enough.
They get this particular hoarseness, rattiness, .. when they're washed too much. They get rough and thin, in a way that allows you to feel every bone in the body of the tiny person you're picking up and holding, or hugging, .. placing on your lap, tickling, wiggling around, whatever. It's this special fabric that belongs only to two- or three-year-olds, when they're ready for bed. When they're squealing and running around and trying to squeeze just another half hour out of things, just another show .. so desperate for more time with everyone, they'll even watch the news and swear they're interested.
I can still feel it. I can still feel my brother's tiny rib cage when I hugged him goodnight, and the way his skin was all rubbery and childlike over it. He felt was like a big, water-filled, hyper-ticklish rubber doll with excited eyes and a cow-lick. And cornwall blue footed pajamas.
I miss that kid more than anything.
And finding pictures like this, and then the sensory memories that go with it ..
It's enough.
Ahhhhh. Goddamn.
Someday I will feel sexually appealing.
And not like a bother, or a slug.
Edit to say: this site makes me feel great, and it's about the only exception to the above.
Someday I will feel sexually appealing.
And not like a bother, or a slug.
Edit to say: this site makes me feel great, and it's about the only exception to the above.
I so miss the three days when my mom took my brother and I forty-five minutes North to Cleveland in our van, Friday night after school and work, listening to Soft Rock 102.1 on the radio, and checked us into an Embassy Suites for the weekend. And we would lounge around the double hotel room, the three of us, both the radio and the TV on all three nights, making frequent trips downstairs to the pool, the sauna, the restaurant, the lobby, riding the elevator with the glass walls, running the perimeter of the floor which overlooked the lower level where we could see all of the lush indoor plants and palm trees. But mostly the room lounging. Watching out the window at night, taking in the Cleveland cityscape, the lights twinkling. So foreign. We were REALLY far away. We listened to 102.1, which we had at home, but we were actually AT the place it broadcasted from, now, so it sounded totally different to my ears. I had never called in before, but I did that weekend – probably a hundred times. We had packed lunches and dinner from home. This was our vacation. And it was my favorite.
Onto happier things. This is the product of my shoot with Waikiki in Florida last september. sobelle was kind enough to photograph my pages so I could see them before I got my hands on the actual magazine. Seriously, so terribly exciting for me. And I give all credit to Waikiki for making me look cute, .. because I know for a fact I was a mess that day.
Then sobelle and I finally submitted the set we shot on the balcony of that house, after much laziness and feet dragging on my part.
And this summer is shaping up to be a good one. Later this month is Hell City, where there are going to be the most SGs I think I've ever seen in one place in my life. Dozens and dozens. Among them, most of the girls from Florida. My heart is going to explode. I will also be meeting up with the people from Inked Magazine for the casting call they're doing, so fingers are crossed for that, certainly. I bought a hotel room at the Hyatt for myself and my boyfriend, but I'm not sure what our status will be by then, so I may have it all to myself .. in which case shenanigans WILL be ensuing.
Then May 31st is the SG Spring Party in Columbus, hosted by Alissa, which I'm driving down for and staying the night with my beloved Gunner, and hopefully Ryker and MAYBE Kiley. Then some combination of us is driving all the way back up to Cleveland for the SG Foam Party, hosted the very next night by Smayx.
And several more adventures featuring these lovely ladies and more, following, but I don't want to get ahead of myself or leave nothing to write about later.
Suffice it to say .. I think I'll be decently distracted throughout the next six months. Thankfully.
Finally -- even though this'll seem really random, .. since I never post videos or make "vlogs," I figured I'd post the one I made yesterday for a small SG project. It may be self-explanatory. If not, even better.
Then sobelle and I finally submitted the set we shot on the balcony of that house, after much laziness and feet dragging on my part.
And this summer is shaping up to be a good one. Later this month is Hell City, where there are going to be the most SGs I think I've ever seen in one place in my life. Dozens and dozens. Among them, most of the girls from Florida. My heart is going to explode. I will also be meeting up with the people from Inked Magazine for the casting call they're doing, so fingers are crossed for that, certainly. I bought a hotel room at the Hyatt for myself and my boyfriend, but I'm not sure what our status will be by then, so I may have it all to myself .. in which case shenanigans WILL be ensuing.
Then May 31st is the SG Spring Party in Columbus, hosted by Alissa, which I'm driving down for and staying the night with my beloved Gunner, and hopefully Ryker and MAYBE Kiley. Then some combination of us is driving all the way back up to Cleveland for the SG Foam Party, hosted the very next night by Smayx.
And several more adventures featuring these lovely ladies and more, following, but I don't want to get ahead of myself or leave nothing to write about later.
Suffice it to say .. I think I'll be decently distracted throughout the next six months. Thankfully.
Finally -- even though this'll seem really random, .. since I never post videos or make "vlogs," I figured I'd post the one I made yesterday for a small SG project. It may be self-explanatory. If not, even better.
