SuicideGirl: Cherry
suicidegirlphotographer

Cherry keep your yellow bird close || http://cherryrae.com

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JANUARY 3, 2012 @ 11:54 AM


9 Years of being naked on the Internet

9 Years ago today my first photo set went live on the front page of SG. It was the first 'New Girl Friday' of 2003. Lots of you probably won't remember what a New Girl Friday was, but that's okay! At the time I never thought that sending in naked photos of me (for a very tiny sum I should say - it was never for the money back then!), would lead to so much. If someone had told me that SG would become a job I would probably laugh.

At the time it was something I did because it meant a free membership and Sean told me I would make a great SG. And here I am, 9 years later. It's kind of crazy to think about how many changes I've been through in that time, and it sure does make me feel old to have been around here for over 9 years. Sometimes I wonder if I'm like that old person in the corner that everyone wishes would just grow up and move onto something else but doesn't get the hints (;

It's strange to think that a community that just occupied my time while I was a struggling musician (back then), became such a huge part of my life. Even though I haven't modelled that much for the site, due to insecurities among other things, I've probably photographed over 500 sets for the site (I should do a tally at some point). And I've had 322 sets published.

I've definitely been involved more as a photographer than a model in the past few years and I always forget that I'm an SG too. I also always wish I could have gotten my act together and shot more of my own sets, but it's difficult when you're your own photographer. Who knows, though, maybe one day I'll shoot another set.

Even though these days I'm not very active in the groups or boards, I still lurk a lot. I guess the older I get the less I have to say. I remember back when I was first on the site you couldn't shut me up. I'm sure I was really annoying; I was so opinionated and not always for the better. It's embarrassing to think of what I was like back then. I suppose it's all part of growing up.

It's surreal to think that some of you that have been around for a long time too and have watched us older ones growing up and changing. No one ever tells you when you're young that growing up doesn't mean becoming more serious and less fun. If anything I'm way less serious now than when I was a shitty young punk kid. I guess growing up is really just becoming more sensible and realistic about things. And that's how it's easier to let go and be silly, surely!

So the last thing I'll say about my 9th anniversary of being naked on the internet:

Dear SuicideGirls,

I gave up LiveJournal for you, over 9 years ago.

It was totally worth it.

Love, Cherry xx


------

What you probably came by for, instead of some ramblings from a senile old SG granny, is photos. Here's some I took of the winter birds up north while I was away.

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The big red and grey ones are Pine Grosbeaks and the wee streaky one is a Common Redpoll. They're both finches even though they are really different sizes. The one on the top of the tree is a Grey Jay which are just so lovely, but impossible to photograph because they don't stay still for long. We get them down here in southern BC too, so I'm going to do my best to get better photos of them.

There aren't many birds that stay for winter up in the northern parts of Canada but the ones that do are very common and you see them all the time. They are so fun to watch and it's amazing what harsh winters such tiny little things can live through.

A little tidbit - the Redpolls dig little tunnels in the snow to keep warm at night. It's just too precious to think of the tiny things all snuggled up under there.

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After seeing them in the dense trees flitting about and heading home, I stumbled across this house that had a ton of feeders out. They were obviously enjoying a massive feast. Amongst these guys you can also see the Black Capped Chickadee which is pretty common in most of Canada and the US. The larger yellow and grey bird is a female Pine Grosbeak. She was so much sleeker and prettier than her male counter parts. It was remarkable how many more males there were than this one female who kept coming and going.

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Of course no bird photos from the north would be complete without the Ravens. They are so huge and fascinating. I still remember my first trip up north when I saw one of the local ravens I thought it was a small dog - then it took off. It was amazing.

Ravens can have incredibly unique calls depending on their location and groupings. The ravens in Dawson (aside from the usual Raven sounds) make this really interesting pinging sound that I can only describe as sounding like some futuristic space sound - or like I would imagine a really huge electrical wire would make if you were to twang it like an elastic band. I've searched the internet for examples but no one seems to have documented it in any of the usual places. They mostly make the sound when they're flying. It's interesting that they develop unique sounds like that.

---

I'll stop nerding out with talk of birds. I hope it was at least somewhat interesting for you.

I've recently completed a few new pieces of art work. This was the latest piece I finished, that I did for submission to a show:

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Paradisaeidae 14x16" Graphite on Arches

It didn't make it into the selection for the show, which really felt crappy at first as I made it in last year with something that I feel wasn't as good. I guess it was because I've developed in a certain direction and it was making me question whether it was the right thing to do or not. Well, now I feel like I should just take this as an opportunity to go further and try and let go of some of the stiffness I can see in my work. It feels too rigid and precise which I've known for a long time removes a lot of the emotion behind the work. We'll see where I go from here.

I really need to get back to painting again.

---

This entry has dragged on a little, so I should leave you with a then and now photo:

From my very first SG set, shot in November 2002:

(there are seriously no good photos of my face in that set)

November 2011:
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Comments
baudot

baudot

Oakland, CA
February 2004

JAN 03, 2012 09:22 PM

I, for one, am happy that you decline to grow up. And there's no such thing as too much talk about ravens, either. Bring it on. Ravens and Robots.

Pops1231

Pops1231

USA
April 2008

JAN 03, 2012 09:29 PM

Cherry: Voyeuristic! One of the very first sets I ever saw. And one of the reasons I joined SG.

You are great on both sides of the lens.

ron4164

ron4164

Ponchatoula, LA
January 2007

JAN 03, 2012 09:45 PM

SG granny? biggrin
Love all the photography youj have done for the site, and yourself.
Thanks so much for sharing!!!
Have a great year! kiss kiss love

Stigmata

Stigmata

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JAN 03, 2012 09:47 PM

That's inspiring! smile
Happy anniversary, hope you spend many more years on the site, I hope I do too smile
I loved the photos, I love ravens and trees without leafs

Hugs and wish 2012 is a great year for you!

Zebulingod

Zebulingod

Beaverton, OR
August 2007

JAN 03, 2012 09:48 PM

9 years seems like a long time, but you seem like a really great person (from what little I know of you from here and Twitter), so I'd say it was worth it.

Muzz

Muzz

Montreal, QC
February 2007

JAN 03, 2012 09:51 PM

I've never been really active on the site but like you, I lurk a lot.
I follow you here and on Instagram because I think the pictures you take are truly beautiful and inspiring. You can capture the essence of everything with your camera.
Keep up the good work, and congratulations on your anniversary!

Wow, I feel like a creeper now, haha! eeek

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

JAN 03, 2012 09:54 PM

Congrats on the anniversary. After reading your update I went to look through your profile and realised that I haven't listened to Slint's Spiderland in years. I plan to remedy that tomorrow.

J24U

J24U

Danvers, MA
February 2006

JAN 03, 2012 09:57 PM

The years seem to go by rather quick on this site, but it is always nice to see other people who have had their lives changed by SG in some positive way.

Hysterian

Hysterian

Seattle, WA
April 2011

JAN 03, 2012 10:16 PM

Gorgeous woman! Wonderful blog and I love your photography! Thank you for sharing so much with us! xo

trogman

trogman

Portland, OR
September 2008

JAN 03, 2012 10:26 PM

Dear Cherry,

You're awesome (as well as, of course, a phenomenal photographer). And despite whatever self-consciousness you may unfortunately harbor, you're beautiful. I remember those early days -- well before I was a member -- coming across photos of you, Sawa, Venla, Eva, Flux, Mary, Palo, Posh, Akemi, Adria, Quinne, Nixon, Gadget, Loretta, Zui -- "old-timers" all, and mostly gone from the site now -- and not having beauty so much redefined for me as having my own concepts of beauty validated. I wasn't the only one that found tattooed backs attractive, pierced nipples sexy. Thanks for that - and for the bravery I'm sure it must have taken in those early SG days to lay yourself bare.

Happy 9th anniversary!

-- Trogman

zgrat

zgrat

Los Angeles, CA
September 2003

JAN 03, 2012 11:15 PM

Happy 9th anniversary smile

suttree

suttree

France
December 2004

JAN 04, 2012 12:31 AM

Thank you for this fantastastic 9 years. It's all i have to say. kiss

Kestrel

Kestrel

Austin, TX
July 2003

JAN 04, 2012 12:45 AM

What a lovely post, as always. smile I've been here almost 9 years - although I took a few off in the middle. I certainly remember New Girl Fridays!

I think your older sets are beautiful, and you're even more beautiful today! It's also been lovely to see you change and stay the same over the years, though that makes me feel like a creepy internet stranger. Plllllease do a new set!

Also, I'll be back in Van at the end of March/beginning of April, and I really want to finally meet you.

Littlejohn22

Littlejohn22

Fredericton, NB
May 2009

JAN 04, 2012 02:43 AM

we head up to my wife's parents place to go bird watching... well that is what I do there

Kissoon

Kissoon

France
December 2010

JAN 04, 2012 03:02 AM

"I guess growing up is really just becoming more sensible and realistic about things." --> yes yes yes !

You're a marvelous photographer. Love your blog, love your photos. I hope you'll stay here for a long time ...

Bonne année !!!

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