My new philosophy on life:



From this day forth, I will solve all my problems with eyes.

My favorite one is "Auschwitz is spooky." It's really looks less scary with eyes.



So, you wanted a fo' real update last time. Here you go.

The parking garage I was working for switched companies and since I was the most experienced person to stay employed at the site I got a promotion. My first promotion ever. Now I do less work in the office. Yay.

My sweetheart just got back from being on tour for a month in Europe. They played in Serbia two days before Kosovo declared their independence. Craziness. I was trying to load the video of them playing the Dirty Water Club to post in here too but I don't think it's going to happen. It took forever to load Daniel's eyes and that video is only a minute something... Two Cow's video is just under ten minutes. Therefore, go to youtube and check it out yourself; just search two cow and dirty water club. That should do it.

Tuesday my cell phone was stolen by a ghetto woman who I believe was all sauced up on coke at the time. It's alright, though. Wednesday morning I bought a kickass new phone and shut off the service to the other. The new phone makes me feel better about the whole situation. She also aggresively borrowed $140 from me. I was simply trying to help out a fellow human being but she took advantage of my kindness and it ended with me crying in the bathroom for a good hour. Maybe I can bring her on a daytime court tv show and sue her. It really would be good tv to have her on Judge Judy or something.

Hmm. What else is new?

Oh! I started a Little Prince half sleeve late last year and just got some color added on V Day. He does amazing work. It really looks like a watercolor on my arm. I say this alot, I know, but I'll have to load some pictures of it.

While I was at the tattoo shop, I talked Bubba (my tattoo artist) into doing a promotional thing for the month of March. It's called March Moustache Madness and for the month of March you can pay $25 to get a little moustache tattooed on the inside of your index finger. That way if you want to turn incognito all you have to do is hold your finger under your nose. Brilliant, I know.

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

September 7 was my last update. That's funny. I am a completely different person. Although, I feel like a completely different person from when I woke up today too. I guess what I mean to say is so much has happened since then. I hate going on and on about myself though. I don't find it interesting. So, instead, I shall direct your attention to the newest passing phase in my life, this youtube video:






That was interesting.

My 7 year old cousin: I saw Santa Claus yesterday.

Me: Oh yeah? Where'd you see him at?

Cousin: JCPenny's

(He's so adorable)



What was your favorite present? Mine was the huge rubbermaid tote my mom filled with all the major staples in my diet: Macaroni and cheese, cans of corn, tomato soup, chicken noodle soup, Ho Ho's, spaghetti noodles, spaghetti sauce, peanut butter capn' crunch, philly cheesesteak hamburger helper, rice krispie treats, coffee, a jar of peanut butter, and a bottle of ranch dressing. Also included were some inedible objects: paper plates, toliet paper, a box of kleenex, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, a package of three deodorants. spongebob square pants bandaids, visine, tampons, burt's bees chapstick, and a deck of cards. Not to mention the huge tote I have now.

I'm unsure of what to update about but I feel as though I must soon. I keep waiting for Acetracer to remind me, per usual, but the longer I wait the more apparent it is to me that he forgot his duties. Ha. Duties.

I've read three books since I started my new job in cbus a month and a half ago. Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins, Hell's Angels by Hunter S. Thompson, and Stand Still Like the Hummingbird by Henry Miller. It's all I really have to entertain myself at work. I'm really taking a shine to Henry Miller. Why haven't I read him sooner? Tropic of Cancer is next.

Almost done with a painting. I like it. I may show you a picture when I'm finished but I'm not promising anything cause that takes alot of effort.

I'm trying to learn French. Wish me luck.

If I take a picture of my painting, I should also take pictures of my kitty cats, Franny and Zooey. They are the most adorable kittens ever. I love them.

If you're a young mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

I love Loe.



That is all.

Anyone else watch the YouTube democratic debate? I really enjoyed the videos and listening to all the different questions. I do wish there was more, uh, debate. It seemed, at times, they were more interested in showing the next video than hearing the answers/responses from the candidates.

Also, I decided Joe Biden is a dick. There are candidates I'm pulling for, candidates I'm on the fence about, and then there's Joe. What an asshat.

Now I'm flipping through the channels.

Hell's Kitchen is on fox. I find it amazing that we can now watch a television show where the catchphrase is "Fuck Off." I can't stand that show for too long.

Does anyone else get the AZN channel? It's an asian channel and right now there's some sort of samari show on with subtitles. Sometimes, though, there's some great Japanese Pop music videos.

America's Funniest Home Video gets me sometimes. I enjoy watching it with Abbey, one of my roommates/best friend, because she'll laugh so hard she cries. She's at work right now so I'll see what else is on.

Ooo! Friends. I F-ing love Friends. If you were a Friends character, who would you be? I think I have a little of all the girls in me but I'm mostly Pheobe, expect I'm not that naive.

QVC is interesting sometimes. There was a time when I would watch the home shopping network everyday after school with my high school sweetheart. There was a host who was completely braindead and the questions she asked the guest salespeople were hilarious.

Meth trafficing on the history channel. I know a guy who is an installer for Time Warner and they have training on meth labs and what to look for when installing cable in homes.

Oh snap. Cheerleading championship. I loathe peppiness but love to watch them move in uniform. It's almost hypnotic. I just heard my neighbors come home... I better change the channel in case they decide to come over and see what I'm up to. I have an image of sorts to uphold.

Haha. That sunsilk commercial where the woman hurts her neck during a hair flipping battle.

I'm thinking of a number... can you guess what it is? It's 20 Million and that's how many people have checked their free credit report at freecreditreport.com.

Sin City is on the Spike Channel. Would it even be worth watching on television? It's the part where he kills the weird cannibel kid in the charlie brown shirt. I forget the actor's name but it's right on the tip of my tongue. I really like this part. He doesn't even make a sound when the wolf eats him.

Embarrassing celebrity moments on VH1. I think I'll watch this.

Later.

You know what's great about Columbus? You can see Sam Brown when you go grocery shopping.
Sam fucking Brown.

I shoulda moved here years ago.





(Sam Brown is the drummer for The Sun. Second from the left. He aparently gives me hot flashes cause my friends tell me I turned bright red at the checkout line in kroger.)

I'm sitting here in my new apartment in Columbus watching The Soup and finally updating. I'm not sure where to start. Perhaps the apartment thing...

It's a duplex in a nice neighborhood. Fully equipped with front porch, backyard, basement, faux fireplace, claw-foot tub, and three other friends. There's two guys, early twentiesish, who live on the other side of the house. They're very nice. They feed us, gave us the password to their internet, and gave us the 411 on the neighborhood.
I'll be all moved in by the end of this month.

I bought the Tibetan Book of the Dead. And cowboy sheets for my new bed.

About an hour ago I put together a photo album. Divided into sections by friends followed by pictures of me and my family in chronological order from baby to present.

Why are you interested in reading this? Photo album.... really?

I almost hit a deer the other day. It was scary as hell. I remember thinking, "Shit. I've never hit a deer before." Thankfully, that statement is still true.

My new favorite gum is Orbit Citrusmint.

My sister bought me an onyx bracelet a month or so ago. She's getting into the hippie yoga stuff in college thanks to her hippie yoga teacher who told her this bracelet would help with grief, adapting, and self-control. These are the reasons she told me why she bought it for me. I looked up more information and this is what I found:
Onyx jewelry when worn is believed to enhance self-confidence, enhance a sense of responsiblity and increase one's self-esteem. Onyx is also believed to enhance one's consistency, focus and bring about a feeling of detachment. It also helpss one on the path of spirituality. People usually wear onyx jewelry to ward away negativity. In India, gemologists recommend onyx as a protective measure for harmonious relationships, thus keeping away any probability of disturbances or differences in one's.

Neato.

Oh. My BFF is having a baby. It's a girl, Lady Faye, and she's due September 9. Now I'll have a mini-BFF.
If my name was Lady Faye, I'd get it tattooed across my knuckles.

I watched the Star Wars Robot Chicken last night. It was hilarious.
"And that was the best day of my life..."
"What about the day I was born?"
"No. Not even close."

Okay. I'm done updating although it's not fully updated but at least you get the jist.

I've been sitting here at the computer, indian-style, for so long my right foot is completely numb. Completely numb is the best. Not the pin needle, prickly numb that shoots an intense sensation up into your calf when your foot is touched. I'm talking about when my foot feels ten sizes too big without feeling anything at all. Someone could shank my foot right now for all I care.

I have certainly been gone for a considerable amount of time. It was near Valentine's Day when I last updated. Crazy. I would like to say it is because I am busy with all kinds of neat things, but I'm not really. I've simply been trying to entertain myself with things other than television and internet. I signed up to go on a ride along with the local police department to have something different to do. They told me they would call me when I was able to go but that has not happened. I plan on checking up on it on one of my days off. Little girls like me must use persistance or else we never get taken seriously.

I took pictures of downtown last night hoping to capture some sort of inspiration from this town. I am going to do a painting for all the pictures I took.









Not very good quality, I know, but I'm also not a photographer. Plus, I'm only using them as a reference.


Yesterday I had my family watch Borat for Easter. I love the fact that my family can sit and watch that movie together... and laugh at all the right times. Although, they seemed to not like the naked fighting too much.

Here's a picture of my jellyfish tattoo...



... it's a bit blurry. Sorry about that.

Alright. I'm starving. I'm off to the fridge to find some easter dinner leftovers. mmm.

I'm not in school but when your county is under a level 3 snow warning, it's a snow day for everyone. No driving with the excpetion for emergencies... and I don't believe the authorites will consider my dwindling supply of Hostess HoHo's (individually wrapped) an emergency. Although it's a very big deal to me.

Maybe it's for the best; I've needed an entire day to myself to work on writing and finish a drawing I started last week. So far in the day I have completed these tasks: did dishes, made food for my mom and I, read, and took a nice long bath. That's it. I am the queen of procrastination. I had two things to do and have yet to do them. I'm sure it'll get done after I update. Hopefully.

Butt and I were talking about how weird and awkward it would be to give out pictures of yourself out of the high school setting... with writing on the back, "Butt, You are a great friend. Don't ever change. Love, Me." Therefore, we think it would be a good idea to do this... and we will.

Since the last time I updated I got two new tattoos. "Writing chooses you; you don't choose it" below the creases of my reverse elbows. And the blackwork of a jellyfish on the right side of my ribs. I'm getting the color done next week and I'll have pictures then. I'll warn you though, it is badass.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. How exciting [please hit sarcasism button now]. I'm not a big fan of this holiday. Makes me think about bad memories and how I have a knack for fucking things up. Not that I wish things would have turned out differently... I just wish I wouldn't have hurt him the way I did. It's been two years and I still feel like shit about it. And for anyone keeping track, two years ago tomorrow I archived myself from the site.

I do have a valentine though, which is nice, but probably won't see him because of said snow warning. Damn snow. Thanks for reminding me why I despise you so much.

Let me gush over my valentine for a moment, will you? -> Ah. He's so wonderful. I was unaware they made boys like this one. I am mad crazy about him.

I'll stop there although I could go on. I just find it hard to describe these things I'm feeling without sounding too girly.

My mind is starting to wander. Time to get off of here and write and draw.

Please. Don't make anymore comments on my first set. The comment count is eleven eleven; that is the wish number. And I wish everything I am working towards pans out. And I am hopeful.

Butt and I are getting tattoos soon. I want to get a black and grey work of my typewriter on my side with a Bukowski quote underneath, in type font. "Writing chooses you; you don't choose it." It should be expensively beautiful. Butt is getting that quote as well but first I believe he is getting a Gonzo tattoo.

I ordered three books last week: In Watermelon Sugar by Richard Brautigan, Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins, and The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac. All for $25.49. I got Watermelon Sugar Friday and just finished it last night just in time to receive Roadside Attraction today. In Watermelon Sugar is a very strange read. I haven't fully taken it in yet and am unsure of what to say about it. I don't know if I'm in the right mindset to read Tom robbins right now. I may have to find something else to read until it feels right. I think I'm going to read somemore short stories by Bukowski until Dharma Bums gets here.

I never realized how much Paul Simon makes me want to dance until the other night. It was a wonderful night. You Can Call Me Al came on VH1. Old school pop-up video. The song took me over and I couldn't help but dance around.

Why is it that one can sit in silence for a good 20 minutes then as soon as a book is opened to read everyone has something to say? If you want to say something to me, find a worm hole and go back to that 20 minutes.

My car, Jack Salmon, has the soul of an old man in it. When it gets cold his arthritis acts up and he doesn't want to move. Let's all pray this second mechanic can finish the job and all will finally be well. That way I can vanish from this God awful town whenever the mood strikes.

I have memorized your face. There is no escaping my thoughts now.