SuicideGirl: Bradley
suicidegirl

Bradley #OTPYF

I’m private
 
JANUARY 4, 2013 @ 11:03 AM


You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've would've happened-or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. -Tupac Shakur

Sorry guys, I had to do it...Tupac putting it pretty fucking eloquently.

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I had my moment of wallowing, now I am picking myself up by my bootstraps, putting on my big girl panties, and moving forward. After all, when people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never ties to anybody who leaves you, and it doesn't mean that they are bad people, it just means that their part in your history is over.

Its times like these when I look at my hip. With every goodbye you learn. I repeat that to myself and remember that maybe it just means that this was meant to be a learning experience, to better prepare me for what lies ahead of me. Maybe its just preparing me to be ready for some great things to come. I am keeping my head up and my eyes bright. Staying strong and being the confident and positive woman that I know I am.

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After all (sorry for all the quotes, but it feels right today)...

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. -Marilyn Monroe

Now...for a story...A story about what has shaped me, a story I do not share lightly. A story very few people know. I am letting you in on a piece of me with this, please treat it delicately and with care...

This is the story of the background of the above referenced quote I have on my hip that reads "With every goodbye you learn".

It was 1989. My father had just told my mother that he would pay for an abortion or help her pick a family but other than that, if she chose to keep me, he wanted nothing to do with either of us. She was barely 19 years old and found herself alone and scared, not knowing what to do. She had already made the decision that she was keeping me. I cannot imagine what was going through her mind during this time.

She was looking through the paper and came across a post in a Dear Abby, almost identical to the Ann Landers column below.

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It resonated with her. She read it multiple times, had a good cry, picked herself up and moved forward with grace and her head high. My mother is such a strong and amazing woman for making the choices she did and she will forever be my hero and best friend.

She cut out that Dear Abby article that day and laminated it with scotch tape. It is now one of the most important things that I hold possession of. It sits in a jewelry box next to my grandmother's wedding ring and a few other family heirlooms dear to my heart.

I am moving forward with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child and am doing my best to build my roads on today.

I am trying to learn.

xoxo
Bradley



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Comments
Irabrai

Irabrai

United Kingdom
August 2011

JAN 04, 2013 01:17 PM

My thoughts are with you.

Changeling_

Changeling_

HOPEFUL

United Kingdom

JAN 04, 2013 01:42 PM

Beautiful poem and beautiful story behind it... This blog was so wonderful to read, thank you so much for sharing. <3

ericwine

ericwine

Charlotte Hall, MD
January 2007

JAN 04, 2013 02:00 PM

Beautiful blog entry.
You're a strong lady and it definitely sounds like your mom is too.
It's behind you now, but still part of you. You live, you learn, you plant your own garden, and you move on.

lisskiss

lisskiss

USA
January 2012

JAN 04, 2013 03:29 PM

You are such a beautiful woman, both inside and out!
xoxo,
lisskiss

sxrxnnrr

sxrxnnrr

Colombia
May 2011

JAN 04, 2013 03:41 PM

Wish you the best!

VonPink

VonPink

Japan
October 2006

JAN 04, 2013 05:35 PM

Rock on lady rock on

SynIV

SynIV

USA
December 2004

JAN 04, 2013 09:38 PM

Such a strong and confident lady. Keep close the things that are dear and let go the negative. I never look back and just know that the first step is the hardest and you are already past it. Here's to a great year ahead!

ron4164

ron4164

Ponchatoula, LA
January 2007

JAN 04, 2013 09:59 PM

Your mom is amazing! smile
Take care and make this year a great one. kiss kiss love

TripleWWW

TripleWWW

USA
November 2012

JAN 05, 2013 03:00 PM

Bradley, glad you are sensing the strength within you. I think your mom gave you a great role model.

KorbenDallas

KorbenDallas

Qatar
January 2005

JAN 06, 2013 12:32 PM

Tupac and words were quite fond of each other.

GDSV

GDSV

USA
April 2011

JAN 07, 2013 11:36 AM

This is a great blog entry. You are a very thoughtful and caring person and you will find your happiness, i have no doubt about it. smile

franko2366

franko2366

I'm lost
November 2012

JAN 07, 2013 12:11 PM

Everything that happens, good or bad, make us who we are. We can choose to focus on the negative or learn from it and grow as a person.

I see you chose to grow... good for you.

hardticket

hardticket

Kingston, ON
December 2005

JAN 07, 2013 01:32 PM

I hope things are starting to look up. love

Drama

Drama

Columbus, OH
January 2003

JAN 07, 2013 03:47 PM

Give me a shout any time you know that! You have an open line!

merlowe

merlowe

HOPEFUL

Pittsburgh, PA

JAN 07, 2013 03:57 PM

Lady I needed this blog more than u evidently. Thank you

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