i was going through photos and came across one that Brewin took during our shootfest in Vermont this past summer, thought i'd share..... since the rest of my blog will most likely be a depressing mess, feeling sorry for myself and not worth reading.


recent pictures from my life.....

so i thought i had found the love of my life. honestly, sept/oct of this past year, i can say i've never been happier. i'm an understanding person, and i realize nothing is perfect. there will always be struggles in every relationship. but i still fucked up, and started having feelings for someone else..... a really great, caring guy that i find super interesting, who i guess filled the small void that was missing in my current relationship. one thing led to another, and i then found myself caring about two people, both of which i didn't want to hurt. both of which i did hurt. the last month or so have been up and down everyday, i've been so confused. instead of dealing with my problems, i tend to ignore them, and waited too long to figure out what i want. so now, after talking w/ his ex, and other friends, "the love of my life" is ready to move on. i guess i can't blame him, but i've never been one to give up so easily if i think it's worth it. i guess it's not worth it to him, which was the beginning of problems. i can't blame anyone but myself.... so now i'm just sitting here sad, feeling sorry for myself, and heartbroken.

edited to add: fuck that shit, he doesn't deserve me.

don't forget about Emerald that's in member review.


song to fit my mood


song i've had on repeat


that's all i gots for now.....


xo