SuicideGirl: Bob
suicidegirl

Bob Bob-om-nom: #vegan "eggnog" French toast with tempeh bacon and blackberries. http://t.co/Jj5f0sf8KJ

I’m private
 
AUGUST 18, 2012 @ 05:07 PM


I just got back from watching Batman and, as always, I've got a ton to talk about. So, if you haven't seen it yet, you should click away now.

Seriously, if you haven't seen it and you hate spoilers I'm about to ruin all your hopes and dreams...like Bane, but a real Spanish Bane...not like Tom Hardy's weirdly-accented-like-a-congested-Bronson Bane.

(That's not to say I don't LOVE Tom Hardy and think he's an amazing actor...but his accent choice really rubbed me the wrong way.)

I'd actually avoided spoilers up until this point...except for the fact that a friend of mine assured me there was an amazing reveal that would totally blow me away.

Needless to say, I texted him immediately after to say I didn't know what the big reveal was because nothing blew me away and nothing really came as a surprise.

Let's go through all the plot twists and reveals and talk about why none of them are the least bit shocking.

The whole "Miranda being Talia thing" is not a thing. When Marion Cotillard signed onto the project, the internet immediately exploded with speculation that she was Talia. But, even if that didn't happen, by the time you see Daggett killed, you HAVE to know her character is there to be a "bad guy"...otherwise her character serves no real purpose.

Plus, let's talk about the "writer's privilege" of not sinking the reactor when they had the chance (before this whole charade of "you have 5 minutes to get the ball to the end-zone." (Is that a correct use of sports? I know nothing of sports.)

Sure, you could argue that Bane didn't sink it immediately upon leaving because then Talia's cover would be blown as she was the only other person who knew how the fail-safe worked. But, she could just as easily have said Bane forced her to do it the same way he forced her to activate it in the first place.

Honestly, the writers just left it in there to have five minutes of tension at the end of their movie. But, how stupid do they think we are? This highly-trained, well thought out mission that's been years in the making is finally executed without a hitch and you leave the ONE way your whole plan could be brought down still active even though you know exactly how, and have the power, to stop it? What the fuck are you a Scooby Doo villain?

And,speaking of "writer's privilege," let's talk about the pit for a minute. In a day-and-age where there's a bouldering gym down the street in pretty much every major city, it's ridiculous to think even a couch potato like me wouldn't look at that wall and think, really? No one's made it out? Then, when they showed the first person try it it was IMMEDIATELY obvious the rope was holding people back.

After that point, all of the pit-related character development/exposition was unnecessary.

Are you really telling me that Batman can't figure out how to boulder up that wall? Sure, he's taken an 8 year hiatus, but it's a wall. Batman should know how to climb up a wall. He does it all the time in Gotham.

Plus, he didn't even need to make that jump. There were handholds EVERYWHERE on that wall...he could have just climbed straight up.

Now, let's get to the real issue. The BIG "reveal." While we all assumed that Joseph Gordon Levitt was going to take up the cape and cowl we didn't know quite when or how it was going to come about.

Revealing his first name is Robin is STUPID. If it's simply a nod to the franchise it's the stupidest nod ever...now your next Batman's name is Robin. Just think about it for a second...Batman IS Robin. Congrats. Not only is it fucking confusing, but your leading hero has the first name of a 25 year old waitress at Chili's.

Oh, what's that you say? They didn't intend for him to be Batman? Robin is Robin? Let's analyze that gem for a second.

So, at this point, Blake is left with everything that's in The Bat Cave. Which is all Batman's stuff. Unless he's going to mold a new costume out of the crazy-kevlar armor the bat costume was established to be made out of...or he's somehow going to know to get in touch with Fox to have a new one made, he HAS to use the existing Batman suit. Thus, he's the new Batman. Not Robin, not Nightwing, not Red Hood (not that it makes any acceptable sense for him to be Red Hood).

OR, an equally horrible alternative: Alfred's moving speech that he gave to Wane about starting a new life in Florence with a wife and maybe some kids means nothing and the reference to it when we see him at the table in the end is just Wayne on holiday and he's going back to Gotham at the end of the week to be Batman and Blake's going to be Robin after the vacation's over.



Terrible.

There are other things that bugged me about the movie, but these are the highlights. I figured I should stop here.

Since you made it this far, here's some random hilarity:











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Comments
Drama

Drama

Columbus, OH
January 2003

AUG 18, 2012 05:15 PM

We can all agree to disagree. Personally I thought the final movie was a great conclusion to the trilogy. The Robin thing bugged me as well...would have been much cooler if he said Dick Grayson was his real name, then it would make sense.

I actually really liked the Bane character and the accent that Tom Hardy used. It was creepy because how British aristocrat sounding it was, and the way that Nolan makes these films he tries to make it more of a crime story than a super hero story (at least in my opinion).

The Talia Al Ghul reveal was still well done so long as you avoided most of the spoilers on the internet, which I did for the most part outside of the couple of shots they showed of Batman fighting Bane on the steps of Carnegie Mellon University.

Of course I respect all opinions when it comes to film reviews! I just really liked this one...not nearly as well done as The Dark Knight, but the bar was set remarkably high for a comic book film with that movie.

Son_of_None

Son_of_None

USA
December 2010

AUG 18, 2012 05:18 PM

Something told me that it wouldn't be a good movie. And it's not just my cynical and pessimistic nature that compelled me to think so. My gut never lies to me. Especially about movies. And I knew it would be dumb from the first preview I saw for it.

This is precisely why I believe that movie sequels should end at 3, no exceptions. Otherwise, you get a collection of rectangular garbage, collecting dust on your bookshelf.

Sorry you had to endure that torture, Bob. frown

Amico

Amico

I'm lost
June 2008

AUG 18, 2012 05:19 PM

LOL the second man died XD....Professor Kitty is amusing.....LOL...H202=Hydrogen peroxide.

Nanette

Nanette

USA
June 2008

AUG 18, 2012 05:20 PM

now i see the movie in a complete different light. unfortunately I have no comic book background and i'm so bad in technology, media stuff....this was my first batman movie, the only thing that i noticed was the Robin thing...i was thrown off.

Son_of_None

Son_of_None

USA
December 2010

AUG 18, 2012 05:35 PM

Oh, and can you tell us how Anne Hathaway's performance was as Catwoman? I haven't heard anything about how she did since the movie's been out.

Drama

Drama

Columbus, OH
January 2003

AUG 18, 2012 05:36 PM

There were definitely holes in the plot, Kevin Smith pointed this out in his podcast about the movie....why does everyone know who Batman is in these movies? Everyone figures it out. Joseph Gordon Levitt saw him once at a boy's home and saw the pain in his eyes and knew he was Batman?

But for me most of the plot holes were 'acceptable' if that makes sense. Not to say they couldn't strive for better, but the things that bugged me were fairly minor.

jonesc1981

jonesc1981

Oberlin, OH
June 2012

AUG 18, 2012 05:37 PM

I think the problem is you need to be able to remove yourself from the knowledge of comic books or real books when viewing a movie like this. Just like Harry Potter, all the other Marvel movies and such and take them for what they are. I avoided all the internet buzz completely and viewing it in this light thought it to be a great movie. Obviously no where near as good as The Dark Knight but still a good movie in general. And I agree it to be more of a crime story than a super hero one....but I think that's how batman is in general considering he ISN'T a mutant/alien or have "super powers" (does DC actually call them mutants? I'll be honest Batman and Kingdom Come are the only DC things I've read, Marvel fan here).

Maineville

Maineville

Corona, CA
February 2009

AUG 18, 2012 05:38 PM

I completely agree with you about the movie there was one part of the movie that did bug me and that was when batman cried yes he did cry when he got stabbed with this tiny knife since when did his eyes get all watery when someone stabs him? He is Batman he gets injured and takes it like a man he doesn't cry and get all shocked some 2 timing hussy stabs him. If we look at batman returns he didn't cry when catwomen clawed him in the side now did he. That is what bugged me about that movie i still think marvel did the best this year with spiderman and avengers.

fifthblade

fifthblade

United Kingdom
April 2012

AUG 18, 2012 05:39 PM

I can understand all the elements that bugged you.
It was definitely not quite the high bench mark the Dark Knight was, but i gotta say, I really enjoyed it.
True,the whole Robin arc was a little redundant overall really, and it did irk me that he had figured out Batman's true identity after meeting him once,when he was 5.That seemed a little lame.
But the Bain voice very much hooked me, I've seen the movie a few times now, and his sections are the parts I'm enjoying the most. I never really remotely cared about the Bain character before this movie came around,
so for that to happen was an unexpected treat. but it is all as it should be,
this movie, like any movie, effects, reasonates or equally, doesnt, with us all uniquely.

I really enjoyed reading your review though, and you are definitely quite right about loads of the storytelling gaffs. But i think two really strong movies before it, and a load of pretty fanboy satiating scenes in this one,
helped to overlook and no doubt forgive, a ton of mistakes.

i loved your two cents and with my two we have four, its how fortunes are started.
Have a great weekend.

rmcmi006

rmcmi006

USA
June 2012

AUG 18, 2012 05:41 PM

Hahaha why dont you tell us how you really feel? I have to agree, the whole bane voice made me thing of talking into a cup as a kid. Kinda bugged me. And i agree with some other parts of your assessment, while disagreeing with others, but you hit the main problems.

deathwraith5150

deathwraith5150

USA
November 2008

AUG 18, 2012 06:03 PM

the sience cat reminded me of a meme that my father taught me from when he was in chemistry in the mid 50's
"Little Tommy was a boy,
Little Tommy is no more.
For what he though was h2O,
was h2so4"

suispud1

suispud1

Dallas, TX
January 2010

AUG 18, 2012 06:08 PM

I'll still see the movie eventually.

StoneArt

StoneArt

Las Vegas, NV
December 2007

AUG 18, 2012 06:10 PM

Well you madam, have it down to a "T". I couldn't have said it better myself, but at the same time I'm the type that enjoyed it just because I was able to get out of the house for awhile and forget about life for a few hours haha. In retrospect I completely agree though smile

Also your drawing is almost done. I will work on it more tomorrow and show you what I come up with. I keep looking at the pics of you in the R2 swimsuit and I'm thinking a drawing of one of those is in order too. All in time smile

mkayal

mkayal

USA
October 2010

AUG 18, 2012 06:35 PM

It's definitely not the greatest movie ever, but at the same time, it's probably one of the better ones in years.

I think Nolan had Hardy do the super accent that everyone could hear incredibly well despite the mask to foil the Batman exposed mouth but gruff voice.

I think the Talia reveal was more shocking because it relied on the whole patriarchal we can't imagine girls as tough we never said it was a boy complex rather than the last minute d'uh.

I was a little disturbed by the whole ending with Blake. Batman literally can go on forever. The mansion is an orphanage, the batcave is underneath, and every time whoever is wearing the cowl feels like retiring they can just go upstairs and pick out the next angry kid with no family to train to be Batman.

I think for what Nolan usually does with the mythology, I really liked how he approached everything with a nod and disregarded it.

RemoD66

RemoD66

Marina, CA
January 2009

AUG 18, 2012 06:43 PM

I always look forward to your reviews--you're one of the most intelligent and well-spoken voices on this site, and that's no flattery. I must say that I enjoyed the film as others did while keeping the inconsistencies and failings in mind. I actually think that this has been one of the strongest years for superhero films in quite a while, with THE AVENGERS, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN and THE DARK KNIGHT RISES all hitting the mark for me (I'll take any of those over GREEN LANTERN, THOR or even IRON MAN 2).

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