hello everyone,
i have not logged on in almost 3 years! I missed it so much i had to come back. Since my last log in i have had a beautiful son who is 14 months old now. im looking forward to hopefully getting a new set up soon. i still need to shoot it so ill keep ya posted!

you yell at me for attention
my response has no affection
but somewhere out there is a wall
and i fight my life to make it fall
i wait for you on the other side
to kiss me and no longer hide

boring night in....

i have loved writing little songs and poems and stories since i was a little girl. i was inspired buy somthing i saw while walking to my car the other day. i live in the city of hollywood and i have to walk a few blocks to my car. i saw i fat middle aged man in a gross dirty van. he was not wearing a shirt yet he was wearing his seatbelt. his van looked like a rapist van and he had man boobs. this poem is about the fat man in a creepy van. thanks for reading.

fat guy in a creepy van
going home to fuck his man
driving shirtless in the city
his old man's dick is always shitty
tight seatbelt between topless B cups
he wants his man to get his dick up
thats the dirty man in a beat up van
driving home to buttfuck his man
i whitnessed this at the crosswalk
TMI he had a growing hard cock
living in the city i witness lifes poor
and gritty
even shirtless men with women sized titties
but if he can afford a van
his boyfriend should force a shirt on his man

The last two years have been a clusterfuck of bad decisions. I was partying way too much and then i fell in love with the worlds biggest asshole. Instead of just getting my shit together on my own i decided to get married in las vegas. I think it was easier to become someones wife then to admit i had made some bad decisions while i was younger. I decided to get married in the morning one day and by 7 pm that night i was in a small white chapel in the las vegas ghetto in jeans and a dirty sweatshirt telling an old lady midget with a silver wig and 3 inch long pink eyelashes i wanted to purchase the 80 dollar wedding rings andmarry this 30 year old grey haired man with a flannel shirt with holes in it. It looked like i had just gotten off my shift at del taco and picked up the best smelling homless person i could find on my way to the little stained glass chapel. I payed for the gas to get there, the marriage liscense, the rings, the "tip" for the pastor guy, our bills for the last year and a half, and finally im paying for this las vegas wedding with very soul. You have never known rage and hatred unless u have gotten married in vegas. you have never seen the blood red color of hell unless you have gotten married in vegas. After finally leaving him i feel like i have a second chance at life. I could have stayed in that marriage and had kids and struggled for the rest of my life, but i get another chance to fuck myself over in all new and original ways. thanks for reading. nick sucks

progression of a night out