found my journal! Let's see what's inside:

"Sometimes emotions are just gas."

"I was like, dude, I was gonna fuck you and you're a bum. And I don't fuck bums. I have standards." - quote from a friend.

"Krill yourself or be eaten by a whale."

"I love sliding next to you, my lips on your ear,
the bed and our breathing are all that I hear."

"On paper lots of things work."

"Life is like a VHS tape. As much as you want to, try not to repeat your favorite parts too many times or they'll become warped and fuzzy and the whole movie is ruined."

"I smell like cum and berries."

I can't find my journal, you guys. Panic is ensuing. There seems to be a trend of me losing things; my mind, my silverware, my shirts, my interest in the world wide web, my journal.

Here are some excerpts from my first journal:

"Physical, emotional and spiritual space are our boundaries. Make those boundaries and that's how we learn who we are."

"We all come from the same place as feelings go."

"I don't know what came first, the sex or the crying, either way would only make sense to us."

"Ice cream in the sky
I scream in the sky
Ice cream in the sky on Red Balloons
We never thought high enough
Other things up there
Other lives up there
Now you look pleased
Let's be off"

"Rocket scientists have to eat pussy, how else would they know how to launch the impossible."

"Looking up into the surface
where the air is
the light is so pretty
when I call out for help
Pull me out
You never do
The world looks better under water
Someone always pulls me out
but you never do"

Currently reading "Watership Down" and this is the first book that I wish would never end. This is also the first book I've read that has helped me understand a person even more and not only that, but I'm understanding myself even more.

Let's digress, where the fuck are my silverware? They are gone. I don't know how they disappeared but I think all I have now is a knife. Thoughts and ideas as to where they might have went is appreciated, and no we don't take our meals to work. The cats have already been questioned. They aren't saying a thing.

I don't think I've been on SG since the last time I blogged. Not having a computer attached to me will do that. And I don't mind too much.
Good news, I got promoted to Senior Beauty Advisor at the drugstore I work at. I am beyond thrilled My boss told me that for at least awhile he doesn't want me to have blue hair because he doesn't know how customers will be but I think he's trying to trick me into having natural color hair forever. I understand his point of view but I wish he'd just say, "I want you to have brown hair" than "let's see how the customers do and then take it from there." So to save my hair I'm gonna start wearing a wig again. I'm sure he's on edge over holidays, I'm sure once January rolls around he'll be fine with blue again. I get to play with makeup all day, I'm not gonna mess this up. Plus the hours are a bit different but way more awesome. 11am-7:30pm usually, which means I can stay up late and get enough sleep to be all set for the day and then do it again. Winner winner. Chicken dinner.

Dudes.
Babes.

I've been listening to bluegrass, folk, the dixie chicks, and then dance music. They make for great inspiration.

My luck is sliding. Patience and Mindfulness are strong with me.

what music do you listen to while you're high?

I've been journaling so much that I'm already on a second volume.

Something I wrote:

Not online much because both my computers are still dead and I'm not really saving up for another one at the moment, I'm working on buying a keyboard. Music and words are becoming important to me.
Mindfulness as well.

hey lovers,
both of my computers have died, so my only internet access is ryan's computer. sharing is a bummer sometimes.
next blog will be a fun one, lots of pictures.
going to minneapolis opened my creative flood gates and i am now writing daily. it's pretty amazing actually. years of pent up thoughts are just written away and i never worry about them again. a whole new discovery that i would love to share with you sometime.
i made tater tot pizza tonight and it's amazing.
beer is amazing too.
get you some.

quick update,
I will be at the Kitty Cat Klub in Minneapolis Monday night specifically to see The Julie Puppets play. If you are in the area, definitely come out see them, enjoy yourself, say hi to me, and buy me a beer. You don't really have to buy me a beer but I would appreciate it
Minneapolis is awesome, I've been to Lyle's twice so far, the Cafeteria, Galactic Pizza, Tatters, and Ragstock and that's all I can remember at the moment. Lots of beer and lots of good times for sure. I still need to go to Matt's Bar and have a Juicy Lucy and also Punch Pizza. It's a must. I'm in the search for some Doctor Martens, size 7's? If you see a pair let me know.
I'll have a photo update soon, some interesting things, like a dude getting dumped, beer, and beer. You know. Fun times.

I'm blogging.
In the tub!


So what does a Suicide Girl think about while soaking in the tub?

Good question, which I will answer by typing out whatever is on my mind.

Boys
Girls
Boobs
Cats
Why are my cats staring at me like some BetteJean soup?
Why are my cats drinking my bath water?
Does BetteJean soup taste good?
I wish my cats could talk.
On the other hand, no I don't.
I washed my hair, do I really want to condition it? It'll be all flat tomorrow.
Do I shave my pubes or keep it in the shape of a heart?
I love my heart pubes.
Anal
Fuck yeah anal
There is a hand towel holder next to my sink, did I notice it there before?
Did someone install a hand towel holder while I was gone?
Hmmm
I think it's hot when a chick is in the tub with runny mascara.
As soon as she's out though it's not hot anymore.
This is relaxing.
I still need to wash my body.
I should do that now.

Okay bai!