PICS
Well, I'm alive.
I feel terrible for not posting but I really have had difficulty bringing myself to SG and sharing my life. I'm in a place right now where if I list off all the bad things going on in my life I'd probably lose it.
But I love all of you on here and I know this community is the perfect support for me. 
So what's been going on?
I'm separating from Ryan which is the big thing going on right now. It will mean that I'm pretty much starting my life over. I don't know if I'll have a car anymore, I will probably lose all my friends that I've known for 6 or more years, I won't have my cats anymore for sure, and I may have to either transfer to a store that is closer to where I am now because I can't afford all the gas to get to my work, or I'll have to find a new job all together, which really really sucks because I have the best job I've ever had in my life as a beauty adviser.
My mental health is on the edge and I'm dangling my feet. Finally figured out with my doctor that I'm bipolar and we're taking the steps in medication to help me with that and my high stress life at the moment.
I'm living life a day at a time. Each week I have $50 to live off of, that include gas for my mini van (which takes $100 to actually fill) food, and recreation (weed.) Somehow I'm managing but you can imagine it's rough. I'm definitely learning the difference between wants, needs, and absolutely needs.
I'm living in a place with no internet and I don't have a computer with me anyways. I'm bringing my iPod with me today so hopefully I can be on more but yeah lately I'll maybe get to touch the internet twice a week. So I've been reading magazines, watching movies (I swear I've watched Finding Nemo 5 times in the last week and a half.) To all who have sent me messages, thank you
I think of all of you all the time, and you are missed.
I don't have much else to add at the moment, please send good vibes, I'll try to check here more because I miss you guys so much.
I feel terrible for not posting but I really have had difficulty bringing myself to SG and sharing my life. I'm in a place right now where if I list off all the bad things going on in my life I'd probably lose it.
But I love all of you on here and I know this community is the perfect support for me. So what's been going on?
I'm separating from Ryan which is the big thing going on right now. It will mean that I'm pretty much starting my life over. I don't know if I'll have a car anymore, I will probably lose all my friends that I've known for 6 or more years, I won't have my cats anymore for sure, and I may have to either transfer to a store that is closer to where I am now because I can't afford all the gas to get to my work, or I'll have to find a new job all together, which really really sucks because I have the best job I've ever had in my life as a beauty adviser.
My mental health is on the edge and I'm dangling my feet. Finally figured out with my doctor that I'm bipolar and we're taking the steps in medication to help me with that and my high stress life at the moment.
I'm living life a day at a time. Each week I have $50 to live off of, that include gas for my mini van (which takes $100 to actually fill) food, and recreation (weed.) Somehow I'm managing but you can imagine it's rough. I'm definitely learning the difference between wants, needs, and absolutely needs.
I'm living in a place with no internet and I don't have a computer with me anyways. I'm bringing my iPod with me today so hopefully I can be on more but yeah lately I'll maybe get to touch the internet twice a week. So I've been reading magazines, watching movies (I swear I've watched Finding Nemo 5 times in the last week and a half.) To all who have sent me messages, thank you
I think of all of you all the time, and you are missed.I don't have much else to add at the moment, please send good vibes, I'll try to check here more because I miss you guys so much.
Hello Lovelies,
I haven't blogged much lately because I don't have a lot to talk about.
My birthday was last week and it did not go very well
BOTH my cars died on my birthday. The trans went out in my van and something exploded underneath my car. Because of this misfortune I couldn't go to a rave in Chicago that I'd been planning on going to for weeks. And that was my birthday week.
But I try not to let things knock me down. Tonight I get to have the car that we're borrowing from Ryan's parents and that means only one thing on a Wednesday.
WOBBLE.
Wobble Wednesday is a night at a bar in town and they play only dubstep and the place gets packed. It's my favorite day of the week. I love wobble but wobble doesn't usually love me. I usually lose shit or end up at home at 6 am. But it's always a good time
Even though my luck isn't very good at the moment, I am still very happy. I have known my two friends Shana and Blake for a month now and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Blake is my buddy for sure. He's my beer buddy, my weed buddy, my get into close calls with trouble buddy. Unfortunately he's allergic to cats or I'd be set for life.
My new friends are different from any other friends I've had, they grew up in the hood and there are a lot of times they'll talk and I'll have to stop them and say, "I don't know what that means." My slang vocabulary is constantly growing.
January has really been a lesson in "good people" and knowing the difference. I'm happy to report that it has nothing to do with how smart you are, if you went to school, what your family is like, and how you make your money. Good People is all about heart and how you treat people and how you go about personal gain. If I get my thoughts more organized about this I'll try to write more about it later.
Until then, have a lovely day everyone, and send good vibes to my cars.
I haven't blogged much lately because I don't have a lot to talk about.
My birthday was last week and it did not go very well
BOTH my cars died on my birthday. The trans went out in my van and something exploded underneath my car. Because of this misfortune I couldn't go to a rave in Chicago that I'd been planning on going to for weeks. And that was my birthday week.
But I try not to let things knock me down. Tonight I get to have the car that we're borrowing from Ryan's parents and that means only one thing on a Wednesday.
WOBBLE.
Wobble Wednesday is a night at a bar in town and they play only dubstep and the place gets packed. It's my favorite day of the week. I love wobble but wobble doesn't usually love me. I usually lose shit or end up at home at 6 am. But it's always a good time
Even though my luck isn't very good at the moment, I am still very happy. I have known my two friends Shana and Blake for a month now and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Blake is my buddy for sure. He's my beer buddy, my weed buddy, my get into close calls with trouble buddy. Unfortunately he's allergic to cats or I'd be set for life.
My new friends are different from any other friends I've had, they grew up in the hood and there are a lot of times they'll talk and I'll have to stop them and say, "I don't know what that means." My slang vocabulary is constantly growing.
January has really been a lesson in "good people" and knowing the difference. I'm happy to report that it has nothing to do with how smart you are, if you went to school, what your family is like, and how you make your money. Good People is all about heart and how you treat people and how you go about personal gain. If I get my thoughts more organized about this I'll try to write more about it later.
Until then, have a lovely day everyone, and send good vibes to my cars.
I finally have a day off after working 7 days in a row.
But I've managed to pack in a lot of adventure time with my friends Blake and Shana after work.
We spend a lot of time in my mini van. I have some fun plans for it this summer.
I like to tweet conversations from our matching times, here are some of my faves:
"But seriously, my dicks laced up." - Mooney
"That ain't gunshots, that's bullshit." - Old Lady at Ghetto Kroger's
Blake: "do you have 4 quarters?"
Me: "no."
Blake: "oh i thought you would because you drive a mini van."
Me: "i'm not a mom!"
Me: "You were running around and squealing"
Shana: "I know, like a happy little piggy."
"All I asked for Christmas was a new pair of lungs."
Shana: "oh god, i hope it's not a dick picture."
Me: "i'm so glad i'm not the only one that thinks that."
That's all I got for now.
Peace, kitties and titties
But I've managed to pack in a lot of adventure time with my friends Blake and Shana after work.
We spend a lot of time in my mini van. I have some fun plans for it this summer.
I like to tweet conversations from our matching times, here are some of my faves:
"But seriously, my dicks laced up." - Mooney
"That ain't gunshots, that's bullshit." - Old Lady at Ghetto Kroger's
Blake: "do you have 4 quarters?"
Me: "no."
Blake: "oh i thought you would because you drive a mini van."
Me: "i'm not a mom!"
Me: "You were running around and squealing"
Shana: "I know, like a happy little piggy."
"All I asked for Christmas was a new pair of lungs."
Shana: "oh god, i hope it's not a dick picture."
Me: "i'm so glad i'm not the only one that thinks that."
That's all I got for now.
Peace, kitties and titties
I already did my good deed for today, drove my friend to his court date.
I work today, have tomorrow off and then I work 7 days in a row.
I'm so glad I am in love with my job because I think if I even a tad indifferent about my job I would hate working this much.
Here is some extra fun things from my tumblr. Follow me I'm gonna take a nap before work.
Happy New Year, lovers!
Let's start it right with cute animal gifs!
How are we feeling now?
If I could describe 2011 2 words it would be "mindful adventure."
My 3 resolutions last year were to:
*Complete a 365
*Finish my sleeve
*Grow my hair to my shoulders
Well, I failed my 365 miserably, but that was probably a good thing. I don't think I'd want to see this year in pictures. My sleeve though looks amazing. I'm just one 5 hour session away from completing it but a lot of people don't even notice that it's not done. I absolutely love how it turned out, and my customers adore it. I've had little old ladies oooh and aaah over it, I've had women thank me for sharing it with the world, I've had moms point out to their young children how pretty my tattoos are.
My artist is Rick Serna, he has done a lot of BelleBane's work too. We fucking love him I even named my unicorn pillow pet after him.
This one's named Jimmy.
The back of my hair is to my shoulders. What really helped me keep growing my hair was wearing wigs when I was getting anxious about that awkward stage. I also became an ace at tapering my own hair with clippers so I didn't have to spend money on a trim and it always looked exactly how I wanted it.
Next goal for the year is hair to my boobs. Here are my hairspirations:
Also I want to learn juggling. Why not?
And I'd love to complete another year at my job. I absolutely love it and I'd love to see how I improve in sales within the year. My accomplishments in my job that I've had since March is pretty fucking cool. I got a raise and a mini promotion that has more responsibilities, and then I got promoted again 5 months after to Senior Beauty Adviser and shortly after was Employee of the Month for Customer Service. For December my department did better by $3000+ than last year. This job also brought me up to full time so I work 40 hours a week. I find myself saying under my breath every day, "I love my job." and it could be for many different reasons.
Most importantly I want to continue practicing mindfulness.
I hope the best for everyone this year. BetteJean loves you.
xoxo
Let's start it right with cute animal gifs!
How are we feeling now?
If I could describe 2011 2 words it would be "mindful adventure."
My 3 resolutions last year were to:
*Complete a 365
*Finish my sleeve
*Grow my hair to my shoulders
Well, I failed my 365 miserably, but that was probably a good thing. I don't think I'd want to see this year in pictures. My sleeve though looks amazing. I'm just one 5 hour session away from completing it but a lot of people don't even notice that it's not done. I absolutely love how it turned out, and my customers adore it. I've had little old ladies oooh and aaah over it, I've had women thank me for sharing it with the world, I've had moms point out to their young children how pretty my tattoos are.
My artist is Rick Serna, he has done a lot of BelleBane's work too. We fucking love him
I even named my unicorn pillow pet after him.This one's named Jimmy.
The back of my hair is to my shoulders. What really helped me keep growing my hair was wearing wigs when I was getting anxious about that awkward stage. I also became an ace at tapering my own hair with clippers so I didn't have to spend money on a trim and it always looked exactly how I wanted it.
Next goal for the year is hair to my boobs.
Here are my hairspirations:Also I want to learn juggling. Why not?
And I'd love to complete another year at my job. I absolutely love it and I'd love to see how I improve in sales within the year. My accomplishments in my job that I've had since March is pretty fucking cool. I got a raise and a mini promotion that has more responsibilities, and then I got promoted again 5 months after to Senior Beauty Adviser and shortly after was Employee of the Month for Customer Service. For December my department did better by $3000+ than last year. This job also brought me up to full time so I work 40 hours a week. I find myself saying under my breath every day, "I love my job." and it could be for many different reasons.
Most importantly I want to continue practicing mindfulness.
I hope the best for everyone this year. BetteJean loves you.
xoxo
You guuuuuys
I have friends
We go on adventures that end in smoking out.
We listen to dubstep
We're a little family
How was everyone's christmas?
I worked 9 to 2 that day and then drove 2 hours with Ryan to my dad's house. I think I've said this before but I'll say it again, Ryan and I make the best road trip partners. We usually listen to podcasts or take turns putting up with each others' favorite driving music. We make the best jokes about billboards, how we always end up on a christian radio station whenever we stop listening to the Savage Lovecast, and our constant search for razzleberry peace tea. We hadn't been on a long drive for a long time so it was really good to spend some alone time with me as his co-pilot.
I got to see family that I hadn't seen since last Christmas or longer. I also got my dog and baby fix out of the way.
I think the coolest part of the day was to go through my grandma's jewelry and pick out some things to keep. I realized that I got my taste in jewelry from her. I like plain and simple, no stones. Her jewelry box was full of tennis bracelets, ornate braided chain necklaces, and a pendant with a cross stitched flower in it. I had actually wanted and have been searching for jewelry with cross stitch in it and it turns out my grandma had one eons before me. Great minds When I was going through them I saw a simple gold band that was wide and had a leaf pattern on it, it looked small and that surprised me, I tried it on my tiny hands and it fit. I was surprised and knew that it wouldn't fit anyone else so I wore it while still looking through the jewelry, I showed my dad later on and he said, "oh that's grandma's wedding band." what?! I never remembered seeing her wear the ring and I think I would notice a cool ring like that one. Apparently she stopped wearing it after my grandpa died in 1999 (she also stopped eating lasagna because that was his last meal.) and I guess she got a new band to wear. I'm incredibly happy to have it. Out of my grandparents I was closest with her and I always had in the back of my mind when she was still alive that if I was ever lonely that I could just go to her place and talk and watch the Food Network, Oprah, or sports with her. Now that she's gone I don't have that backup anymore and I still miss her incredibly. I didn't realize how much of a friend she was to me until she was gone. I'm so glad that I get to have more things of hers, especially things I can wear everyday. Every time I think I've received the final gift from her she always finds a way to keep on giving even long after she's gone.
Tumblr Time! Follow me at bettejeansuicide.tumblr.com
I have friends
We go on adventures that end in smoking out.
We listen to dubstep
We're a little family
How was everyone's christmas?
I worked 9 to 2 that day and then drove 2 hours with Ryan to my dad's house. I think I've said this before but I'll say it again, Ryan and I make the best road trip partners. We usually listen to podcasts or take turns putting up with each others' favorite driving music. We make the best jokes about billboards, how we always end up on a christian radio station whenever we stop listening to the Savage Lovecast, and our constant search for razzleberry peace tea. We hadn't been on a long drive for a long time so it was really good to spend some alone time with me as his co-pilot.
I got to see family that I hadn't seen since last Christmas or longer. I also got my dog and baby fix out of the way.
I think the coolest part of the day was to go through my grandma's jewelry and pick out some things to keep. I realized that I got my taste in jewelry from her. I like plain and simple, no stones. Her jewelry box was full of tennis bracelets, ornate braided chain necklaces, and a pendant with a cross stitched flower in it. I had actually wanted and have been searching for jewelry with cross stitch in it and it turns out my grandma had one eons before me. Great minds
When I was going through them I saw a simple gold band that was wide and had a leaf pattern on it, it looked small and that surprised me, I tried it on my tiny hands and it fit. I was surprised and knew that it wouldn't fit anyone else so I wore it while still looking through the jewelry, I showed my dad later on and he said, "oh that's grandma's wedding band." what?! I never remembered seeing her wear the ring and I think I would notice a cool ring like that one. Apparently she stopped wearing it after my grandpa died in 1999 (she also stopped eating lasagna because that was his last meal.) and I guess she got a new band to wear. I'm incredibly happy to have it. Out of my grandparents I was closest with her and I always had in the back of my mind when she was still alive that if I was ever lonely that I could just go to her place and talk and watch the Food Network, Oprah, or sports with her. Now that she's gone I don't have that backup anymore and I still miss her incredibly. I didn't realize how much of a friend she was to me until she was gone. I'm so glad that I get to have more things of hers, especially things I can wear everyday. Every time I think I've received the final gift from her she always finds a way to keep on giving even long after she's gone.Tumblr Time! Follow me at bettejeansuicide.tumblr.com
I'm going to make a really dorky analogy.
So last night I came home from hanging out with my new friend last night feeling like this
The best way to describe it is when you play the Sims and there is that rare moment (when you don't use cheats) and your Sim is completely well fed, clean, entertained, socialized, in a good environment, and all their bars are green and they are feeling extra good. It's like that. It's freaking awesome.
I hope everyone has a very kitty christmas!
x
So last night I came home from hanging out with my new friend last night feeling like this
The best way to describe it is when you play the Sims and there is that rare moment (when you don't use cheats) and your Sim is completely well fed, clean, entertained, socialized, in a good environment, and all their bars are green and they are feeling extra good. It's like that. It's freaking awesome.
I hope everyone has a very kitty christmas!
xSerious note in spoilers and then on to the fun stuff.
It's the busiest week of the year at work and things are going pretty well. I only noticed one day that my boss had cookies at his desk. He's a runner and I guess kind of a health nut and there is this secret code that if he buys cookies then you need to stay away from him because it's not a good day. I wish I had a secret code that was as pleasant as cookies. I just tend to get quieter and lost in my mind and if I'm anxious then I get shaky and very distraught.
Last night after work Ryan and I headed over to our hometown friends' house for hangout time. We made coffee filters into x-rated snowflakes and watched the 40 Year Old Virgin.
I'll try to post pics of the snowflakes sometime soon. I'm amazed at how Dave managed to make vaginas on his snowflake. He's got a vagina gift.
Fun things from my tumblr.
Same old same old. Work, cats, and sexts. 
I've added World of Warcraft into the mix and I have no regrets.
For your entertainment I've collected a few things from my tumblr for you to enjoy. More work today and then either WoW or hubby time or both
I've added World of Warcraft into the mix and I have no regrets. For your entertainment I've collected a few things from my tumblr for you to enjoy. More work today and then either WoW or hubby time or both
I had the last 3 days off and now I'm going a little crazy, gotta have my work fix. So I work today and then have tomorrow off again 
Can you believe that this year is almost over? I've really dedicated this year to soul searching. Sometimes I don't think I've figured out much and then sometimes I'm hit so hard by just a moment of peace that all the tears I've saved make a run for it.
Can you believe that this year is almost over? I've really dedicated this year to soul searching. Sometimes I don't think I've figured out much and then sometimes I'm hit so hard by just a moment of peace that all the tears I've saved make a run for it.
