sooo first things first, HOLY CHRIST! ALL MY BASE ARE BELONG TO PICNIC! did you see what LITHIUM_PICNIC did? do you see the magic he makes? huh? huh? do you? sweet god... who knew team work could work out so well? Apnea got me all tied up and wet... and took pictures??? i don't remember okaying this! i kid. i think she's the hottest thing that has ever happened anywhere, ever. damn.

lessee... what's new in my world... doesn't seem like a whole lot. i'm still sleeping waaaay too much, still having bizarre dreams. last night i had crazy zombie dreams. a lot of people i knew were there (i think a lot of them from this site), and i few who i have know idea who they were or how they got there. the one thing that stood out throughout the dream was my desire for dental floss, because i had eaten corn on the cob before all the chasing started and it was stuck in my teeth. weeeeeird.

i'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again. i forget how, sometimes. i haven't drawn or written anything in ages. my block has grown almost as big as my penis. and that's huge... but i wrote something monday night...

it's not as bad as it sounds, i swear... i figured if i were going to share it with anyone it'd be you guys.

you don't have to comment on it, or even read it. i love you unconditionally, so reading my crappy prose is not required.


my brain is leaking out my ears.
no wonder i can't think, and i'm going blind. i have no friends here; not really. i realize when i need to talk that everyone is conditional. so and so like you if... such and such judge you when...
i've receded so far into myself that i don't know where my shell ends and i begin.
i've been so fucking lonely and i still don't know where i'm going. i'm so nostalgic for the days when i was small and time never moved. days were a hundred years long and it ached trying to fill them. i could lay on my stomach and my breasts didn't get in the way. i miss not being afraid of the sun, and tag in the dark. i miss being fearless. i was invincible.
now im stagnant. i am a cripple; i am limbless, sightless and mute.
i live and i am terrified. i live on the condition that tomorrow will get better, but it never does. the noise in my head is deafening.



in other news, holy CRAP that set is hot!

i love the shiz-nit outta you guys. sometimes with crowbars, but usually just stuff i found in the yard.