First order of business: since I'm once again parked in the Sleep Inn lot (haha), I don't have the time to click through and answer each message I've received thus far in response to my new set. However, I'm absolutely going to make it a priority asap to get internet hooked up. I can't deal with this shit! Either that or add the t-mobile thing to my account so I'm not paying ten fucking dollars for a day pass through their Starbucks connection. So hold tight-I've browsed through all messages and I will do my best to reply to them as soon as I can. It means so much to me that you all have such interesting comments and wonderful compliments.

Second: Thank you, SG, for putting my set live!! Thank you, times a billion. xoxoxo


That's about it for now. Work still sucks, nothing new there. I've been going out with my friend (and new roommate) a bit more than I should in the last few weeks and now I feel like an unhealthy cow. So I really, really have to get back on track with my health. I want to do another set soon, but not until I feel like I can trust the camera not to shatter at the sight of me!

Oh, and go see The Dark Knight if you haven't already. AMAZING.

Check back in with you guys soon. 'Till then, thanks again. Many, many thanks!

Xoxoxoxox
Astatine



*yep, that's my car. shot on location in the now famous Sleep Inn! *

Hey there!!!

The set is UP! Thank fuck. I'm so, so, so excited. Thank you to everyone who commented and continues to comment and show love. It means so much!

I'm sitting all uncomfortably in the Sleep Inn parking lot again. Ha ha! Yeah, I'm a slacker. My wi-fi signal is still nonexistent. Yes, I know- I need to just get my internet hooked up. But as pathetic as it sounds, work has been so slow that the $100 deposit Cox is asking to hook up everything is more than I can afford at the moment. it's not that I don't have it- it's just that it's a priority issue.

Anyway, that's depressing. Enough of that!

Thanks again for all the wonderful, beautiful comments and messages. I love being a part of this community!




xoxo

Astatine

Hello everyone!! My set should be in Member Review soon! Keep your eyes open and when it shows up, if you like it gimme a click or two and show the love!

I'm so stoked, words can't even adequately express it.

Thank you, Rigel, for getting back to my email and communicating with me so I can get the set up!

My internet signal's still gone, but I'll be checking back as often as possible until I get something worked out. Talk to you all soon!

xoxo
Astatine

I've been unavailable for around a week now..many apologies!

I lost my wi-fi signal, and I think I must have been tapped into my next door neighbors' network. They moved out right around the time my signal dropped. My powers of deduction are strong. Be afraid.

Anyhow, for the moment it's back to Starbucks/Sleep Inn wi-fi. I promise I'll get my internet hooked up the proper way soon. I'm finally, slowly, getting caught up with bills and such.

My profile pic finally updated! Yay! Thank you, staff!!

My new set? Eh, can't say the same..

Oh well. Good things must come to those who wait, right? RIGHT?

Have a good weekend.

xoxo
A.

I had a really nice Doc today. She didn't jump to any conclusions, but ordered x-rays, which I went to get done right after my appointment. They weren't expensive, thankfully, and she said she should have more to go on by Monday after reviewing the x-rays.

It was kinda neat- I couldn't remove my dermal anchors, of course ('cause, well, you can't just pop 'em out), so the x-ray tech showed me them on the ray when she loaded it into the computer. They looked awesome! I get a kick out of stupid shit like that, so I thought it was neat. And I was better able to explain how they work since I could show her the way the anchor looks under the skin. I tried to sneak a peek at the rib that's giving me trouble, but the screen wasn't in the right position. Damn it. Ha ha. I'll know soon, though.

The Doc told me to ice the side four times a day and take Aleve when it gives me pain (which is my OTC pain med of choice anyway). She also said to avoid excessive stretching, bending or twisting, to which I politely nodded. In reality, though, my rent won't pay itself by my sitting on my ass, so I have to work and thus cannot avoid stretching and bending. So whatever. I don't think I'll do any worse damage in a few days than I have in the last few months.

I'll keep everyone (those who give two shits) in the loop.

xoxo
Astatine

Please, oh please, SG photoset gods...I pray to thee- put my new set up? I get online every day and wish I were seeing it live rather than the old "waiting to be queued" message.

And my profile photo still hasn't changed. Rigel was nice enough to message me back and confirm my assumption that staff just has a backlog of stuff to do. However, it doesn't make me any less human and impatient.

I'm going to Rage In A Cage Saturday!! It's going to be a fucking blast. My favorite guy buddies (in AZ) are taking me and some other people. They got a party bus to transport us, because we all have a bad little habit of drinking to the point of debauchery and/or near-death, whichever comes first. We all also drink hard liquor, mainly, with most of us favoring Jack. Which makes for a very, very, fun time anytime we all go out.

More fun news...the current issue of Playboy features not only a centerfold wearing a Pagan Goddess necklace (thus suggesting that she herself is Pagan.. or just a phony, though I doubt it's the latter), but also a brunette Playmate of the Year who has a tattoo (which they didn't photoshop out!) and very natural-looking breasts. I'm pretty proficient in boob-identification, but I can't really tell if hers are fake. They look very, very good, though, even if they're not real. I did peruse some different websites a while ago, and it seems that she's stated, with conviction, that her breasts are natural.

Why I spent a whole paragraph on the PMOY's breasts? Not sure.

My point was actually that it's nice to see a few things like that in Playboy. It's so often fake, Fembot type chicks.

Ugh. I've gotta go to bed. I have to go to the doctor in the morning to get this lump (?) on my side checked out. I have an occasional, dull pain on my back where my ribs are, and it kind of hurts to breathe in every now and then. It's been like this, on and off, for a few months, but only recently did I notice that there's a lump/bump/protrusion. According to my masseuse friend, I probably popped a rib out, or "subluxated" it (the term I found online applied to symptoms similar to mine). I told my mom about it, and was just going to go to a chiro to get it adjusted, but being the voice of reason (always) she suggested I go to an actual general physician prior to having a chiropractor start moving things around. Her words were, "It could be something else.." like a tumor. Thanks, mom. I was fine with a simple, easy to blow off answer. I think it's unlikely it's a tumor, although you can get tumors on a bone (which is the location and the way the lump/bump/whathefuckever feels). It could be a calcium deposit or something, also. Who knows? I guess I'll know, after 9:00 am tomorrow.

If I'm told (god forbid) it is a tumor, I'm kind of eager to say, "It's not a tumahh!" I have a sick sense of humor.

Goodnight.

xoxo


Astatine

I'm so beyond ready for this new set to go live.

It's depressing me!

I also uploaded a new profile pic a week or two ago and it hasn't shown up yet. Sigh. I get all hopeful and then shot down every time I log in to SG.

Ok...so after perusing the discussion boards/groups I've concluded that I can post two clothed preview pictures from my set that's waiting to go live. I have no date on when it will, and as I wrote previously, it's driving me mad! But I actually didn't even think about the fact that I can still put a preview up. So here you go....





Enjoy! I really cannot wait until this set goes live. I've changed a lot since October/November, and I keep changing with every day (isn't that what we're about-evolving and growing?). I would love to shoot and submit sets as often as possible, because I think it's great to see that type of evolution. I obviously have a blast shooting, too, but I crave establishing a solid SG photoset history.

Hope things are well for you!

xoxo
Astatine

SG, you're killin' me, smalls!

The wait for my second set to go up is unbearable. It kills me every day to see that it still hasn't been put up. Sigh.

Anyhow, I'm tapped in to someone's wi-fi! I thank the internet gods every time I turn Airport on and see that I'm still solid with a signal, and that the people to whom it belongs haven't kicked me off and enabled security and/or don't know how. So that's fucking awesome.

My slackin' ass finally got my hair done. It had been a month and a half grown out, and the red was fading. It was an embarrassment. I didn't even like looking in the mirror. When you've got a bright color on your bangs and an asymmetrical cut, you have to keep it up. You can't let yourself slack off or it looks crappy. Which mine did.

And I have an appointment next Tuesday to touch up my knuckles. Now, if I can just stay on this shit-together track, I'll be good. Ha, ha..

Work has been soooo slow. Almost unbearably slow. Tax time really fucks with people. I don't get it. I mean, unless you make an effort to stay as off The Man's radar as possible, you're gonna have to deal with paying or being refunded tax money. It's a part of our capitalist, American life. What good does bitching about it do? Try voting. Try making an effort to inspire change. Otherwise, what purpose does your pissing and moaning serve? Sorry, it's just an aggravating season at the moment.

Some songs I've really been into lately, however late my discovery of them may be:

Stop & Stare- OneRepublic
My Curse & End of A Heartache- Killswitch Engage
Life is Beautiful- Sixx A.M.
Love Like This- Natasha Bedingfield & Sean Kingston (considering how much I LOATHE "unwritten," I'm surprised that I dig this song)
Straight to the Bank- 50 Cent
Scream- Timbaland ft. Keri Hilson
anything by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes--if you haven't checked them out, DO. It is the fucking greatest, most amusing shit. Punk rock covers of classic and contemporary songs. Two words: Goodbye Earl. Once you've heard their cover of it, you really appreciate the song.

Yes, it's all over the map. I like a wide variety of music. Depending on my mood (which, though placid on the surface, really changes with the breeze), I go from Chopin to Black Flag. Yup. There's a shortage of really quality music out right now, so if I find something I feel has good lyrics and/or good musical composition, I get right into it. There's a lot of fine-to-listen-to stuff out at the moment (ie: the Love Like This song), but very few broadly talented artists. I'm really feelin' Killswitch. Homeboy has some fucking range. And the instrumental aspect of their stuff, it's reminiscent of-don't slaughter me, you rabid Dimebag fans-Pantera. I mean this in the sense of heavy yet not redundant guitar, varied and broadly pitched vocals (Phil Anselmo I salute thee), and steady drum talent providing that necessary heartbeat to each song, working with rather than overshadowing the other instruments.

Anyway. Now that my Killswitch-stroking has come to a close...

Oh, and what the FUCK? NKOTB reuniting? Did I miss the bulletin that their career was cut unjustly short?




For the final thought on my music diatribe--

Justin Timberlake. Justin and Madonna. Does anyone else see something off about this partnership? Mega-empires aside, I'm a little wary. I just don't trust him. Anyone who goes from The Mickey Mouse Club to superstardom working with people like Timbaland and Madonna without a single rehab stint? Yep, something's not right there.

Much love, kiddies!

XOXO
Astatine

Thank you for the kind birthday wishes!

I had a lot of fun over the weekend. I did a low-key, bar hangout night on Thursday with a few buddies, and then Friday night I got a limo and my best girlfriends and I went out dancing. It was loads of fun. I almost fought a dude at a club who was being a dick and wouldn't tell me what shot he bought me (we stared each other down and talked trash, and at some point I asked him if he wanted to step outside. ha ha.), and then at the end of the night he asked for my number. 'Cause that makes sense, right? Talk trash to a girl who's ready to fight you and then come on to her? K.

Then Saturday I went over to my best friend's house (she couldn't make it Friday) and we got stoned, ate almost a whole pizza, PLUS breadsticks, then passed out watching Half Baked. It used to be something we did a lot when we lived together, getting baked and watching movies or doing puzzles, so it was nice to have a bit of old times.

All in all, a good weekend. I didn't get trashed, much to the surprise of what seems like everyone I spoke to the last three days. I just wanted to remember the whole thing, you know? I like tying a good one on every once in awhile, but it gets less and less appealing with age. I guess when you spent most of your teenage years being intoxicated in some way or another, the novelty wears off by age 24.

I'm getting so tired of waiting for my set to go up! I totally understand that SG has their way of putting stuff up, and like I said before, I read the discussion groups and I know other girls have been waiting far longer than me. I was just led to believe that they really wanted a new set from me prior to shooting this one, and once I got it in and it was accepted, I just kind of expected it to go up in a fairly expedient manner. It's not a huge deal, really. I just think this second set is sooo much better than the first, and really shows my personality. I think you can tell in the second set that I'm much more comfortable and relaxed, not only with the actual posing, but since I knew and had communicated more with Lorelei by that time.

Whatever. I've got a lot of other crap going on in life right now, and I keep looking for what little silver linings I can find-my set going up on SG being one of them.

It's strange to know I've made it 24 and I still don't feel like I have a deeper purpose, or meaning, in my life. I can say that I am blessed to have good friends, and my health, and financial stability (well, relatively anyway. ha!), and all the things many others do not. However, I still feel like I'm missing something. I drew this metaphor for it in a recent blog: I'm a glass, but I have this hole in me, and I fill myself with all these "meaningful" things, yet I'm never really full, because there's this constant trickle out of me. I've explored religion, and organized religion just does NOT jive with me. Marriage and children are like a death sentence in my mind, always have been. There are a lot of people who are amazing spouses and parents, and we need more of them in the world. I, however, am only good up to the level of "godmother," or "aunt," or if we're referring to romantic relationships, well..let's not go there. Suffice to say I have always had, and will always have, commitment issues. I don't call them issues, really, because I am aware of them and have no problem with them. They are just a part of who I am. I am always getting bored with a situation or person when it or they become part of a routine, monotonous and/or predictable. Anyway. So my point is that all the things most people would suggest provide purpose or meaning to one's life seem inapplicable to me. So where does it leave me?

Where I currently stand, I suppose. I'm restless and stir-crazy, and it seems that every day, every month, every year, it gets worse and worse. Am I supposed to just wait for something to happen? Or do I go balls-to-the-wall, and dive into everything I can, expecting enlightenment somewhere along the way?

Shit wasn't this complicated when I was stoned all the time.

XOXO,
Astatine