Happy Halloween!! What are your plans for the evening?

Put a few new pictures in my folder on here since its been a while.... here's one more....
baby girl will be 3 next month! Craziness.

Taking state board at 8AM on Wednesday. Can't wait for that to be over with.
Also my salon is hosting a hair/fashion show next month for our annual Earth Month fundraiser! Last year Aveda raised over $3 million to go toward clean water projects, so that is exciting. The only thing is we have very little time to prepare so I'm hoping it all goes smoothly....

Sometimes while driving down the highway I try to imagine what rear-ending the car in front of me at 75 mph would feel like.

I have bangs again!!


I'm loving my salon and just finished up a 2 day makeup course at the Institute in Charlotte so I'm excited about branching out into that field more. I feel like that may be more of the direction I want to go since I have a passion for art and photos, maybe I can get my hands on some models for shoots? We shall see...

Start training at the salon on Monday!
Photoshoot Tuesday night... I really wish I had all my old pinup outfits. I gave them away after I had my baby because I didn't think I would ever fit into them and didn't want them staring at me in my closet reminding me how fat I am.
Ironically I'm back to pre-baby size.
And I just might try a new set while I'm at it.
MAYBE.

I GRADUATE THIS FRIDAY!!!!
I'm so excited I could pee.
I started taking cosmetology in high school... 7 years ago...
and its crazy to think of all the things that have pulled me different directions, and the other things I've overcome since then.
But yes, Friday is the day! Me and my girls are going to celebrate at the DC Fair. I will start at the salon the week of the 11th probably. Then moving into the new apartment Halloween weekend.
So ready...

I have a very hard time letting go and not allowing things to consume me or my thoughts, even when I know they're not good for me. Until tonight I felt like if I let go, if I pushed memories aside, if I started to forget, it would be like it never was. That scared the hell out of me. When someone who is such an integral part of your very being is no longer a part of your every day life, its only thoughts and memories holding it all together.

But what I realized tonight was when it gets to the point that just hearing their name drives a nail to your heart... having to talk about their happiness and success in your absence... having to feel the hurt like its the first time all over again...
and I tried, I really tried to be happy for them. I tried to be supportive and I feel like I did everything I could, and yet nothing was reciprocated. Is it really worth it? To be this hurt, I know its my own fault. I know I'm too sensitive and I overreact. But at some point doesn't my happiness matter?
I don't know if letting go will make me happy, but nothing else has worked. And at this point, I would just settle for not crying about it, not worrying about it, not thinking about it.
Out of sight, out of mind... right?