Well I finally got a job offer ... an assistant manager position for a chain of fancy schmancy restaraunts (lol). I went to meet my manager (bossman) yesterday and I was soooo nervous. I just didnt want him to be an asshole. The hiring lady said wearing funky hair & piercings was basically up to our managers, and I just prayed for an awesome guy who wouldnt give a shit. Let me tell you .... he was JUST as dissapointed when he saw me as I was when I saw him. The look on his face was PRICELESS. I could tell what he was thinking immediately: "HOLY SHIT, *this* is my new assistant???" I even toned down my look, pffft. I almost didnt want to wear my piercings n crap, but I figured "why try to hide who I am? If we're going to be working together, he'll figure it out eventually".

I think he relaxed a bit once we settled down and started talking abt our ideas for the restaraunt & improving customer service ... because he found out that Im not nearly as stupid as I look. LOL, that sounded horrible, but its true. Most ppl look at people with piercings and tattoos like they are the lowest form of life on the planet. What a surprise, this ones actually intelligent!



Im going to get a double industrial. Actually, Im not going anywhere, Im getting one while I sit here, hehehe. It'll probably suck listening to my headphones for a while.

q's
~If you could change 3 things abt the way you look, what would they be?
~How abt changing 3 things abt you mentally?
~How abt you suck my wang?
~Tell me something I dont know

Fetish models will be the most affected by these new pornography laws. What I dont understand is ... how does showing a photo of someone being tied up have anything to do with cracking down on child pornography??! What a waste of time this will be. Use your resources more wisely, you fools!!

Man, Im fuckin irate.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The other day on my way to the store, I was handed a brochure for veganism. Normally, Id just toss these things .. but I had forgotten my book that day and had nothing to read on the train ride home. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! The photos and stories abt what they do to these animals in some cases was enough to make me quit eating meat products for an entire week!! And lemme tell you ... thats a goddamn miracle. I love eating meat ... aside from it being extremely tasty, I feel it's very symbolic. But now ... I suffer from a conflict of interests, and its very complicated for me.

On one hand, I cant fucking believe that the law doesnt PREVENT shit like this from going on!!! Some of the shit Ive seen/read is insanely disturbing. I feel awful abt not being able to give up meat entirely. Ugh.


***And to clear something up, some of you mentioned that you thought I was being insensitive abt the archived girls that left when I mentioned I wanted their "spots" on your faves list. I didnt say that to be insensitive, it was my way of making light of the situation with my joking manner. Im glad the majority of you saw the humor in it and knew that I would never be so "cold".***


q's
~Are the Jets going to beat the jaguars today? And tell me who "your team" is
~(for ink lovers) What's your next ink going to be? Do u ever get worried that you'll 'run out of space'?
~Tell me your thoughts abt one or more of the above topics

Im really sad abt these girls leaving, and Im sure a lot of you are, too. I am glad, however, that the ones who are reading this are still here. Lets enjoy our time together, shall we?

Moving right along, NO MORE DEPRESSING SHIT!! I got enough of that in my life right now, I come here to feel good, not bad. The rest of you do, too, I imagine

I didnt get that one job, ah well. I dont like their business practices, so it wouldnt have worked out. My staffing company told me I could apply in a different way, some online profile shit .. but if these ppl are going to base their descisions on who they hire because of how many times they've seen someone in their building (yep, the reason I wasnt chosen was because the director said he'd seen me in the building before, and if I didnt get the job with the OTHER director, then he didnt want me either) then I dont even WANT to work for a company like that.

I have several other companies interested in hiring me, so its no loss. Same money, too .. more benfits. A LOT closer to home, but more work. Oh well.

Ive been so busy with interviews and shit, I havent had time to come here and respond. Hopefully soon Ill be on some sort of schedule. I have so many things I want to buy once I can finally afford them ... I cant fuckin wait. Once we have all our musical equipment back we'll be working on our music again, and my photography company will be back up and running.


Still have heard nothing back from Fear Factor. Damn.


q's
~(stolen from rockadiva) If you could have any special talent (not supernatural) what would it be? why?
~ What invention(s) would u invent if you could?
~Would u want to be killed if u were paralized from the neck down? How abt if u found out u had a horrible deadly disease? Flesh eating virus? What abt if u were bitten by a zombie and were abt to turn into one yourself? Would u kill a family member/lover/friend if THEY were in one of those positions and they asked u to?
~Do u think this hairstyle is unprofessional?

So many of my favorite ladies are leaving the site. I wish them the best. But as they say .. out with the old and in with the new. By the way ... if any of those girls are on your fave's list, Im taking over their spots. Thanks, have a great day.

Wait!! Sit down, Im not done yet ....


I fucked up my job interview pretty badly. Im not sure wtf happened, but I choked. I was doing so well .. then I just ... ugh, couldnt think for the life of me wtf to say in the end that I hadnt already said, and there was a LOOOONG uncomfortable pause. I felt so humiliated!!

Oh well, it probably wasnt meant to be. I still have other prospects, Ill focus on those. Tick tock tick tock, time is running out for @sh, what's the girl gonna do?

DUNNN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!


Im gonna get me one of these superpenguins ...







they might look normal, but they're not. Theyre called employment penguins. They sqeak at high volumes when angry, and have lasers that beam out of their eyes. They have a remarkable ability to persuede employers to give me a job. Ill send them in the offices early in the morning when they least expect it, Ill slide 'em right underneath the door.



Those are the leaders. The one on the bottom left is Herb, the director of employment relations ... he had razors implanted in his flapper slappers. Bottom right is the senior chairman of assholery forces, his name's Pratchet. The other 2 are their slutty daughters that came along to watch the destruction.

Dont piss me off or Ill send em your way, too.

Does anyone have "Trickster" by the Kidney Thieves?? Im dying for that album, I cant find it anywhere!!!

q's
~I might have already asked this, but do you have to look conservative for your job, or are u one of the lucky ones?
~Tell me something that's from the 80's that I might have forgotten abt .. it could be an old saying, or an old fad.
~If u could rewind time .. where would u go back to and why?

My god, will I actually have a free day tomorrow to reply to my messages? I think I just might!

Ive been swamped with job interviews ... which is great, I guess .. but tiresome. I kinda hate having to be this ... completely seperate person, day in and day out. I almost forget which one is the real me and I start acting all cordial to my man or my son, lol! It really wears you out, pretending. I didnt want to go corporate, but I gotta do what I gotta do to pay the bills.

I still havent heard back from fear factor, those bastards! They dont know what theyre missing!!!!

But on a lighter note ... I got to meet a few fellow sg members the other day. I thought it was really sweet of apocalypse meow (She's even cuter in real life, even if u might think it isnt possible.)and vextrexx to swing by to visit me, even though they had so many other plans.

q's
~is there a song that you heard on the radio one day that's not a typical radio song, but it IS one of your all time favorites ... and it just put u in a fuckin AWESOME mood for the rest of the day, just for the simple fact that it came on? What song is it?
(mine was 'sex on wheels' by my life with the thrill kill kult)
~Do you wear a mask to work, or are you one of the lucky ones who doesnt have to? elaborate
~Do you compete with your best friend?
~Have you ever lived with any of your friends? If so, did it change your relationship?

The greatest thing abt hitting rock bottom is the fact that everything from there on out is an improvement from your current situation! werd.

I got an interveiw (tomorrow) for a position that would earn me *three times* the highest amount Ive ever been paid in my whole life. I was so scared to call the dude back. I didnt want the dream to end. I still dont, really! Ha! But this morning I checked my email .. and I received 4 more offers for interveiws making around the same!! So now I can at least relax when I walk into the interveiw and not be overly nervous abt gettin the job. Im ten times more confident!

Job hunting is so fuckin hard, man. I never thought Id qualify for a position that makes that much ... but I guess when you wont settle for anything less, things CAN happen! Im acting like Im worth that much ... so therefor .. I guess Im worth that much!

My wallet was stolen/lost, couldnt have happened at a worse time! I had one employer flat out tell me that if I dont have my SS card and ID that he cant hire me. ARGH!!! It takes 2-3 weeks to get another SS card sent!



I saw the cutest ferret I have EVER seen at the pet store that I got kicked out of yesterday, lol! My ferret has turned into a little BITCH, man! She's pure evil, but I love her so goddamn much. The ferret I saw was cream colored and orange-ish, kinda like this one:

I let the staff know that the ferrets were out of food, and they got an attitude with me and told me "theyre fine ... they've eaten already today" then proceeded to tell me I needed to leave because I had a beverage. I said "but it's a closed bottle!" and they didnt care, I still had to fuckin leave!! There really was NO reason for me to have to leave ... its not like I had an open container that would spill or anything, they just wanted to be dickheads because I busted them not takin care of their animals, bastards. I was so pissed!!

q's
~How often have u had to drug test for a job?
~If you were making enough money at your current position, but it wasnt exactly what you were *passionate* abt ... would you take a lower pay rate or go back to school in order to obtain the job of your dreams?
~Would it make u mad if your spouse made more than you? How abt your best friend? How abt your pet? lol
~Have u ever flipped out in public before? explain

and remember kids ... drugs, not hugs!!

***edited to add new photos***

I know I havent been around much, but Ive been totally kicking ass job hunting in hopes that I will be able to keep my house. I promise to respond to all my comments, though ... so if you've left one and I havent responded: plz be patient. I do still love you, ya know


To prove my love for you all ... here is a present. A *recent* photo! Its from my recent shoot with The talented Marty Class (www.raphaelclass.com). The shoot was the first Ive been on since my weight gain, so I was really nervous. But the location was great ... best Ive ever shot in! It was a dungeon apartment on the north side of town, it was like my fantasy world! Anyways, here ya go!



Im adding some new ones, too

I was so happy to already have received emails from ppl interested in sharing the house with us ... until I found out that all the emails were from SCAMMERS!!

I couldnt fucking believe that these ppl were actually going on websites like craigs list and EZ roomate trying to get strangers to cash fraudulent checks for them and send them the balance through money gram!!! I have gotten 4 of the EXACT same emails in the past few days, and one email thats a scam, but slightly different than the others.

What I dont understand is ... how are these ppl getting away with this?! If we have the person's FULL NAME and address, why cant someone fucking BUST these assholes?? I really want to pretend like Im going along with these scams, just so I can royally fuck them in the end by turning them in ... but where the fuck do u turn these ppl in??

These ppl are out there, boy, and they are out like WHOAH. They're posing as ebay staff, banks, amazon sellers ... you name it, these fuckers are everywhere! Are there really ppl out there that are stupid enough to go along with any of them? Some of these "scams" are only asking for your full name and address ... so I wonder what they're up to. I thought you couldnt steal someone's identity if you didnt have their social security number? I mean .. it doesnt make sense that these ppl can scam you just by having your name and address ... hell, ANYONE could make up names and addresses, that doesnt mean shit. So what are these ppl after?

Anyways, we havent gotten any potential roomies yet ... so if you or anyone u know is moving to chicago or surrounding area, you can have them email me at coderabies@yahoo.com. We have a 3 bedroom house with a seperate upstairs living quarters, we're asking for half the rent and half the utilities. $650 would be half the rent, BTW.


Q'S
~Have u ever been scammed or had someone try to scam you?
~If yes, whats the weirdest one or the closest you came to going along with it?

The shit has definitely hit the fan around here ...


Sorry to all my friends on sg .. but things have been crazier than EVER lately. My son started school, and that was nuts .. I was totally unprepared ... and now my dad is moving out and leaving me with a $1300 rent!!!! I have no fuckin idea what to do at this point. I know one thing is for sure: I dont have the money to move.

Right now .. I think my best option is to find someone to take over my dads part of the house. The way its setup, there are 2 sections of the house, upstairs and downstairs. The upstairs is the part we are renting ... it has a master bedroom, a bathroom, and a living room. The place is huge and in an awesome neighborhood ... and I could dish out fifty reasons as to why this place rocks. The potential roomates will be screened, of course, for my childs safety. They MUST have good credit and be child friendly. Anyone interested can email me directly at coderabies@yahoo.com


Right now .. Im freakin out, tryin to find some jobs. Ill do whatever it takes to stay here, I refuse to uproot my son again, its just not fair. Ill work 2,3, 10 jobs if possible. Sadly, Ill have to stop going to school now ... Ill most likely have to work 2-3 jobs to keep this place. I probably wont have much time to do fun things like talk to my sg friends .. at least for now. I will certainly try.

Apologies ... but right now, I just dont feel like my normal self. Once this finally sets in .. Ill come back with some questions for you all. Bye for now