IPOD
RADIO
PICS
Whew, what a week its been. I'd like to thank all of you for wishing me a happy birthday on Friday, this years was *definitely* something to remember!
On Thursday Sioux called me up and told me I *had* to be at her house by 3pm. I asked why, but wasn't allowed to know. It was a secret b-day surprise. GAH!! I hate surprises!! All she said was "make sure you're comfortable".
Hmmm, ok?
After being anxious in the car for abt an hr, we arrived at a spa. Wtf? I've never been to a spa before, so all I could picture was that scene in Seinfeld with Elaine in the sauna talking abt whether the other chicks bewbs were real, so I'm thinking "this is either a sauna or a hot tub type deal". Nope! We get in and everything is all purple, ornate, and elegant looking ... with a very soothing type of music in the background. There are several snobby looking women sitting there .. and suddenly I feel *very* out of place. Sioux then reveals to me that I am abt to receive my very FIRST professional Sweedish massage!
I was both ecstatic and nervous at the same time, I didn't know how I felt abt getting naked in front of this strange woman and having her put her hands all over me. I went into the room and she tells me to strip to my underwear and lay face down on the table. I was feeling really awkward abt my ass being all out in the open & my face down in this hole, when she walked in and just paused ...
"Uhm ... you were supposed to get *underneath* the sheets, miss!"
Ok, as if I didnt feel stupid enough, I just felt so ridiculous in that moment as I scurried under the sheets as fast as I could. I'm asking a million questions abt how to position myself and what to do, and she just tells me to lie there and relax. She's not speaking to me. Am I supposed to talk to her? Is she bored? I imagine the woman is extremely bored so I start talking to her to make her feel more comfortable abt the situation. After and hr of a wonderful pampering, she tells me that she feels bad that I spoke to her the whole time and didn't get to really enjoy the *full* relaxation of the massage because of our conversating. Oops! If I knew that they were accustomed to ppl just laying there relaxing and not speaking, I probably would've gotten the FULL effect of the relaxing massage, but oh well. It was still the best present I've ever gotten for my birthday, and I really needed it. I was so tense. 
Thank you so much, Sioux, I will always remember that day. 
Then! As if that wasn't a good enough birthday present, we shot the video for the "best video of 2 girls kissing" on my actual birthday the following day. Talk abt memorable experiences, shit! I got there in the afternoon sometime and began getting things prepared, and when we left it was the following afternoon, we went on non-stop! It took forever to get ready, then forever to get the right scenes .. and the quickest part was of course the most fun part, which was (duh) the kissing.
*sigh* And now I'm back to reality.
Here are my next 5 photos of the week. These photos can be printed in 11x14's because they are very high resolution. So the deal is the same with the other sizes, I'm just adding a larger one. All photos come matted and signed on the front or back, whichever u prefer. Prices are:
$35 for 11x14 (or all 5 for $140)
$25 for 8x10 (or all 5 for $100)
$15 for 5x7 (or all 5 for $60)
Payments can be made to frauleinash@gmail.com. All purchases will come with a personal thank you note. Shipping will be an additional $3 per order.
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
Q's
~What is your chinese zodiac sign?
~What brought you to the location u are currently living in?
~Your favorite type of art?
~Explain to me something abt yourself that you think I might not know.
On Thursday Sioux called me up and told me I *had* to be at her house by 3pm. I asked why, but wasn't allowed to know. It was a secret b-day surprise. GAH!! I hate surprises!! All she said was "make sure you're comfortable".
Hmmm, ok? After being anxious in the car for abt an hr, we arrived at a spa. Wtf? I've never been to a spa before, so all I could picture was that scene in Seinfeld with Elaine in the sauna talking abt whether the other chicks bewbs were real, so I'm thinking "this is either a sauna or a hot tub type deal". Nope! We get in and everything is all purple, ornate, and elegant looking ... with a very soothing type of music in the background. There are several snobby looking women sitting there .. and suddenly I feel *very* out of place. Sioux then reveals to me that I am abt to receive my very FIRST professional Sweedish massage!
I was both ecstatic and nervous at the same time, I didn't know how I felt abt getting naked in front of this strange woman and having her put her hands all over me. I went into the room and she tells me to strip to my underwear and lay face down on the table. I was feeling really awkward abt my ass being all out in the open & my face down in this hole, when she walked in and just paused ...
"Uhm ... you were supposed to get *underneath* the sheets, miss!"
Ok, as if I didnt feel stupid enough, I just felt so ridiculous in that moment as I scurried under the sheets as fast as I could. I'm asking a million questions abt how to position myself and what to do, and she just tells me to lie there and relax. She's not speaking to me. Am I supposed to talk to her? Is she bored? I imagine the woman is extremely bored so I start talking to her to make her feel more comfortable abt the situation. After and hr of a wonderful pampering, she tells me that she feels bad that I spoke to her the whole time and didn't get to really enjoy the *full* relaxation of the massage because of our conversating.
Oops! If I knew that they were accustomed to ppl just laying there relaxing and not speaking, I probably would've gotten the FULL effect of the relaxing massage, but oh well. It was still the best present I've ever gotten for my birthday, and I really needed it. I was so tense. Thank you so much, Sioux, I will always remember that day. Then! As if that wasn't a good enough birthday present, we shot the video for the "best video of 2 girls kissing" on my actual birthday the following day. Talk abt memorable experiences, shit! I got there in the afternoon sometime and began getting things prepared, and when we left it was the following afternoon, we went on non-stop! It took forever to get ready, then forever to get the right scenes .. and the quickest part was of course the most fun part, which was (duh) the kissing.
*sigh* And now I'm back to reality.
Here are my next 5 photos of the week. These photos can be printed in 11x14's because they are very high resolution. So the deal is the same with the other sizes, I'm just adding a larger one. All photos come matted and signed on the front or back, whichever u prefer. Prices are:
$35 for 11x14 (or all 5 for $140)
$25 for 8x10 (or all 5 for $100)
$15 for 5x7 (or all 5 for $60)
Payments can be made to frauleinash@gmail.com. All purchases will come with a personal thank you note. Shipping will be an additional $3 per order.
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
Q's
~What is your chinese zodiac sign?
~What brought you to the location u are currently living in?
~Your favorite type of art?
~Explain to me something abt yourself that you think I might not know.
Yesterday was my mans bday, but he bought *me* a gift instead of the other way around. I told him we would go buy his gift on *my* bday on friday, lol. For those of u who dont know ... I'll be turning 21 ... again. 
There have been many sweet ppl here that have asked me what I wanted for my bday, and I couldn't help but feel a bit humbled I dont have a wishlist made for myself, only for my son, & I contemplated actually making one this yr, but I cant fathom receiving gifts when right now my family is struggling. What I would really love is to NOT have to need anything.
A gift for me would be just to help out my situation by buying some prints, which I will be selling from now on until I find work. What I'll be doing is showcasing 5 prints in my blog per week, some will be available in high resolution and therefor larger sizes, and some will only be available in 5x7. All high res will be available in 5x7 also. Prices will be listed for all prints, and will have to be split 50/50 with the photographer who shot them. They will also come matted and signed.
Here are my 5 for the week, all done by Ed Emering of Chicago:
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
8x10's will be $25 , and 5x7's are $15. If you'd like all 5 8x10's you can get them all for $75, and all 5 5x7's for $60. Shipping is additional $3 per order. All orders come with a hand written thank you card. Make payments via paypal to: Frauleinash@gmail.com
***If you'd like any photo from any of my sets, they are all available for the above prices***
I've been spending a lot of time with Sioux lately, which is so nice, for so many reasons. One, it's nice to have friends agn. Two, I love getting out of the house. Three, it's time spent not thinking abt stress. And four .. she's awesome and u cant help but have a good time with someone so fun and beautiful.
The first time I met her, I thought she was so beautiful, even without the hair & makeup. Then one day I walked in, expecting the same Sioux I saw the last few times, but then she walks out of the room, and my heart just ... stopped. I'm sure I must have looked like such a fool, standing there unable to move, unable to speak since my jaw had hit the floor and I had to gather it back up. After what seemed like an eternity, which in reality was probably only abt 5 seconds, I think I finally managed to utter the word:
" ... uh... eh .. BEWBS." (oh no! did I just say that?)
I think she had to know what was going on in my head at that moment, because that smirky little smile that emerged after that moment was practically *screaming* "muahahaha!! My excessive beauty will Dominate your mind, body, soul ... and soon, the entire WORLD!!" She rocks.
I'm excited to announce that my hiatus on set making is ending and I now have 2 sets in the process of developing. Im even MORE excited to announce that I will VERY soon have a video up for the contest this month: sexiest video of 2 girls making out. All I've got to say is ... holy fuck, it's almost *too* awesome!
q's
~Do u have a recent obsession?
~Tell me the name of an artist, writer, director, movie, or something else that I need to check out.
~What animal do u relate most to and why?
There have been many sweet ppl here that have asked me what I wanted for my bday, and I couldn't help but feel a bit humbled
I dont have a wishlist made for myself, only for my son, & I contemplated actually making one this yr, but I cant fathom receiving gifts when right now my family is struggling. What I would really love is to NOT have to need anything. A gift for me would be just to help out my situation by buying some prints, which I will be selling from now on until I find work. What I'll be doing is showcasing 5 prints in my blog per week, some will be available in high resolution and therefor larger sizes, and some will only be available in 5x7. All high res will be available in 5x7 also. Prices will be listed for all prints, and will have to be split 50/50 with the photographer who shot them. They will also come matted and signed.
Here are my 5 for the week, all done by Ed Emering of Chicago:
#1
#2
#3
#4
#5
8x10's will be $25 , and 5x7's are $15. If you'd like all 5 8x10's you can get them all for $75, and all 5 5x7's for $60. Shipping is additional $3 per order. All orders come with a hand written thank you card. Make payments via paypal to: Frauleinash@gmail.com
***If you'd like any photo from any of my sets, they are all available for the above prices***
I've been spending a lot of time with Sioux lately, which is so nice, for so many reasons. One, it's nice to have friends agn. Two, I love getting out of the house. Three, it's time spent not thinking abt stress. And four .. she's awesome and u cant help but have a good time with someone so fun and beautiful.
The first time I met her, I thought she was so beautiful, even without the hair & makeup. Then one day I walked in, expecting the same Sioux I saw the last few times, but then she walks out of the room, and my heart just ... stopped. I'm sure I must have looked like such a fool, standing there unable to move, unable to speak since my jaw had hit the floor and I had to gather it back up. After what seemed like an eternity, which in reality was probably only abt 5 seconds, I think I finally managed to utter the word:
" ... uh... eh .. BEWBS." (oh no! did I just say that?)
I think she had to know what was going on in my head at that moment, because that smirky little smile that emerged after that moment was practically *screaming* "muahahaha!! My excessive beauty will Dominate your mind, body, soul ... and soon, the entire WORLD!!"
She rocks. I'm excited to announce that my hiatus on set making is ending and I now have 2 sets in the process of developing. Im even MORE excited to announce that I will VERY soon have a video up for the contest this month: sexiest video of 2 girls making out. All I've got to say is ... holy fuck, it's almost *too* awesome!
q's
~Do u have a recent obsession?
~Tell me the name of an artist, writer, director, movie, or something else that I need to check out.
~What animal do u relate most to and why?
May rocks. It seems that almost *everyone* in my life that's close to me has a birthday in May (myself included) which is kind of odd, considering there are 12 months in the yr. Why everyone I love is crammed into just one month will remain a mystery.
Everyone is having such a difficult time lately, why is that? With the only common factor being "myself", I've got to wonder if maybe I'm just ... bad luck? I dont even know if I believe in "luck", but what else do u call something that happens, be it positive or negative, that's out of your control?
I hate being kicked while I'm already down. Sometimes the kicking is repetitive. Sometimes the kicking is accompanied by being spit in the face, or a nice "curby" resulting in the loss of your entire row of front teeth, and also a baseball bat smashing your face in. It's times like these where all you want to do is lie there and recover, no matter how long it takes. But everyone around you is continuously screaming "GET UP!! GET UP!!", and you're just thinking:
"listen, man .. I've got 2 broken legs, a missing arm and a shattered skull, how the bloody HELL am I supposed to get up right now?! On my OWN, no less?"
I think inside everyone there is the strongest person in the world, but also the weakest person in the world. I'm sending my most powerful, Ashtastic vibes to everyone who has to get off the ground and stand on broken legs right now.
So yeah, I'll be turning ... 21. For the .. 5th time? 6th time? lol! Shhh! You're only as old as u feel! Only as old as you FEEL!!
Q's
~Do u think that beauty can/does effect a persons success in life? Do you typically go for ppl that are what is considered "conventionally beautiful"? What do YOU define as "beauty" in your own words/terms?
~Have u ever received a service for something (like for instance .. eaten in a restaurant) and realized *after* u received the service that u left your wallet at home? (haha Ive always wondered what one does in a scenario such as this!)
~Whats the worst joke that was played on you or that you played on someone else?
~Post a photo of something here for whatever reason ... make sure it's entertaining in some fashion
R.I.P Neo, u are forever loved.
R.I.P Parker, I thought we still had more time.
Everyone is having such a difficult time lately, why is that? With the only common factor being "myself", I've got to wonder if maybe I'm just ... bad luck? I dont even know if I believe in "luck", but what else do u call something that happens, be it positive or negative, that's out of your control?
I hate being kicked while I'm already down. Sometimes the kicking is repetitive. Sometimes the kicking is accompanied by being spit in the face, or a nice "curby" resulting in the loss of your entire row of front teeth, and also a baseball bat smashing your face in. It's times like these where all you want to do is lie there and recover, no matter how long it takes. But everyone around you is continuously screaming "GET UP!! GET UP!!", and you're just thinking:
"listen, man .. I've got 2 broken legs, a missing arm and a shattered skull, how the bloody HELL am I supposed to get up right now?! On my OWN, no less?"
I think inside everyone there is the strongest person in the world, but also the weakest person in the world. I'm sending my most powerful, Ashtastic vibes to everyone who has to get off the ground and stand on broken legs right now.
So yeah, I'll be turning ... 21. For the .. 5th time? 6th time? lol! Shhh! You're only as old as u feel! Only as old as you FEEL!!
Q's
~Do u think that beauty can/does effect a persons success in life? Do you typically go for ppl that are what is considered "conventionally beautiful"? What do YOU define as "beauty" in your own words/terms?
~Have u ever received a service for something (like for instance .. eaten in a restaurant) and realized *after* u received the service that u left your wallet at home? (haha Ive always wondered what one does in a scenario such as this!)
~Whats the worst joke that was played on you or that you played on someone else?
~Post a photo of something here for whatever reason ... make sure it's entertaining in some fashion
R.I.P Neo, u are forever loved.
R.I.P Parker, I thought we still had more time.
I'm so tired of this whole masquerade we live in, day in and day out. Even with the ones we're closest to, why do we always have to hide behind the masks? I imagine everyone does it differently for different ppl and for different reasons, but shit ... who the hell *is* everyone?! I mean REALLY? It's like living in the twilight zone ... eternally! One day Steve is a rabbit and next Tuesday he's a fucking cat. Is he really a rabbit, or is he really a cat? Or is he BOTH, switching off? Aaaah, he's just a regular guy and I'm being overly dramatic. Everyone is fickle and disembled because life itself is inconsistent and we all bend, shape, and mold according to what the situation calls for. This sounds logical to you, right?
***NEWSFLASH*** Do you hate/love your life? Well you can thank your goddamned self for that, because there are NEVER any other factors involved in the creation and status of a persons life other than the person themselves.
But seriously? If I hear the phrase "your life is what u make it" ONE more fucking time ... u will most likely never see me again because I am going to turn my masquerade of a life into a massacre. Especially if the person who says it to me is sitting on a throne that's ten feet higher than the rubbish I'm standing on just because they fucked the right person to get where they are.
Oh My!
The other day I was signing some paper that I had to date and I casually asked the lady servicing me if it was the 12th, and she kindly responded with "no maam, it's the 18th". Jesus, I need to get my ass back to work like NOW. Who the HELL deleted the phone number to the guy who was setting me up with that interview off my answering machine?
Last night I found one of my rats covered in blood and he couldnt breathe. I gathered the poor guy up and saw that he had obviously been in one hell of a fight because there was a bite mark on his nose that had apparently penetrated the entire left side of his nasal cavity and it was blocked with blood and swollen like woah. I suctioned most of it out and wiped him down as much as I could, as he started to breathe out of his right nostril. The man stayed up with him after I finally dosed myself to sleep at around 5am, and when I awoke at 8 he was doing much better. He seems to be acting normal today, thank god. But I searched and searched every little rat we oen for signs of blood to see who the culprit was ... sadly, we will never know.
My net is still down/up/down/up, so I never know when Im going to have access to the site or any of my accounts. I got so desperate for some internet action that I tried going to starfucks for their wifi, and they told me I had to pay $20 a month to use theirs, lol!! Uhhh ... FUCK OFF? Then I went over to Panera and used theirs, just to find out that this site was blocked. After checking my email ... I realized I was pretty damn bored being online without sg, hahaha. I get a lotta kicks off this site, I guess I needed a reminder.
~So if your best friend or closest family member was doing something terrible that would have serious consequences, but telling them would be extremely painful ... would u feel obligated to tell them, or would u just keep quiet in order to keep the "peace" between you's two's?
~A friend of mine really wants to know why all women are bat-shit crazy. Well, seeing as I am a woman ... he asked *me*, however, I have no theories as to WHY all women are bat-shit crazy, I just know that they are. Do YOU have a theory on this?
~Do u ever wonder where ppl GO when they sign off the internet suddenly without explanation? lol. I love to make up my own elaborate stories on this one. U can tell me yours if u like
***NEWSFLASH*** Do you hate/love your life? Well you can thank your goddamned self for that, because there are NEVER any other factors involved in the creation and status of a persons life other than the person themselves.
But seriously? If I hear the phrase "your life is what u make it" ONE more fucking time ... u will most likely never see me again because I am going to turn my masquerade of a life into a massacre. Especially if the person who says it to me is sitting on a throne that's ten feet higher than the rubbish I'm standing on just because they fucked the right person to get where they are.
Oh My! The other day I was signing some paper that I had to date and I casually asked the lady servicing me if it was the 12th, and she kindly responded with "no maam, it's the 18th". Jesus, I need to get my ass back to work like NOW. Who the HELL deleted the phone number to the guy who was setting me up with that interview off my answering machine?
Last night I found one of my rats covered in blood and he couldnt breathe. I gathered the poor guy up and saw that he had obviously been in one hell of a fight because there was a bite mark on his nose that had apparently penetrated the entire left side of his nasal cavity and it was blocked with blood and swollen like woah. I suctioned most of it out and wiped him down as much as I could, as he started to breathe out of his right nostril. The man stayed up with him after I finally dosed myself to sleep at around 5am, and when I awoke at 8 he was doing much better. He seems to be acting normal today, thank god. But I searched and searched every little rat we oen for signs of blood to see who the culprit was ... sadly, we will never know.
My net is still down/up/down/up, so I never know when Im going to have access to the site or any of my accounts. I got so desperate for some internet action that I tried going to starfucks for their wifi, and they told me I had to pay $20 a month to use theirs, lol!! Uhhh ... FUCK OFF? Then I went over to Panera and used theirs, just to find out that this site was blocked. After checking my email ... I realized I was pretty damn bored being online without sg, hahaha. I get a lotta kicks off this site, I guess I needed a reminder.
~So if your best friend or closest family member was doing something terrible that would have serious consequences, but telling them would be extremely painful ... would u feel obligated to tell them, or would u just keep quiet in order to keep the "peace" between you's two's?
~A friend of mine really wants to know why all women are bat-shit crazy. Well, seeing as I am a woman ... he asked *me*, however, I have no theories as to WHY all women are bat-shit crazy, I just know that they are. Do YOU have a theory on this?
~Do u ever wonder where ppl GO when they sign off the internet suddenly without explanation? lol. I love to make up my own elaborate stories on this one. U can tell me yours if u like
FINALLY! Ash has a few good things to report. I love it when things in life start to come together 
I got an appt. to get my teeth pulled by a free dental clinic here in chicago ... in mid JULY. Fuck! Thank god a different dentist saw the pain I was in and asked me to come to her office to pick up some prescriptions that would help me make it to July: 3 refills for antibiotics to kill the bacteria that's causing some of the pain, and some rx strength IBprophen to reduce swelling on those nerves. I feel a little better now, Im hoping it will get less painful as time goes on. She said I should feel much better by the weekend, and now its mon. I hope this isnt as good as it gets.
Got my brakes done, but the guy didnt feel like bleeding the air out, so now I gotta pay someone to do that. Then they'll be awesome and I can drive all crazy again. It did cost a shitload, though.
My net is off and on lately, sometimes for long periods of down time. Its gettin ridiculous now. It's pretty sad when u dont know what to do with yourself when u have no internet.
Its sooo nice to have some fucking GIRL friends again, I missed having some fellow ladies to converse and hang with. I couldnt be happier with my new clan of vixens.
It sure doesnt hurt that all of them are just amazingly beautiful. *sigh*
q's
~Thoughts on parenthood: Ive struggled a LOT in this department because Im far from what anyone could call a "conventional" type mom. Some might even call me a "bad" mom for being the person I am. Do u think that a person should change certain things abt themselves when they become a parent? Obviously there are inevitable lifestyle changes but what I mean is ... does becoming a parent change YOU as a person and who u *are*?
~Abt friendship ... there is a fine line between simply making a mistake .. and completely fucking over your friend. Where does one draw the line here? Have u ever had to sever ties with someone u cared abt over something that a friend did? How abt vice versa?
This journal was brought to you by ...
N-N-Neo! Who has sat here curled up in mums lap, making sure I dont say anything retarded.
And just for fun ... take a look at what I get to handle every day ..
My boys
I got an appt. to get my teeth pulled by a free dental clinic here in chicago ... in mid JULY. Fuck! Thank god a different dentist saw the pain I was in and asked me to come to her office to pick up some prescriptions that would help me make it to July: 3 refills for antibiotics to kill the bacteria that's causing some of the pain, and some rx strength IBprophen to reduce swelling on those nerves. I feel a little better now, Im hoping it will get less painful as time goes on. She said I should feel much better by the weekend, and now its mon. I hope this isnt as good as it gets.
Got my brakes done, but the guy didnt feel like bleeding the air out, so now I gotta pay someone to do that. Then they'll be awesome and I can drive all crazy again. It did cost a shitload, though.
My net is off and on lately, sometimes for long periods of down time. Its gettin ridiculous now. It's pretty sad when u dont know what to do with yourself when u have no internet.
Its sooo nice to have some fucking GIRL friends again, I missed having some fellow ladies to converse and hang with. I couldnt be happier with my new clan of vixens.
It sure doesnt hurt that all of them are just amazingly beautiful. *sigh*q's
~Thoughts on parenthood: Ive struggled a LOT in this department because Im far from what anyone could call a "conventional" type mom. Some might even call me a "bad" mom for being the person I am. Do u think that a person should change certain things abt themselves when they become a parent? Obviously there are inevitable lifestyle changes but what I mean is ... does becoming a parent change YOU as a person and who u *are*?
~Abt friendship ... there is a fine line between simply making a mistake .. and completely fucking over your friend. Where does one draw the line here? Have u ever had to sever ties with someone u cared abt over something that a friend did? How abt vice versa?
This journal was brought to you by ...
N-N-Neo! Who has sat here curled up in mums lap, making sure I dont say anything retarded.
And just for fun ... take a look at what I get to handle every day ..
My boys
HOLY SHIT!! I cant remember when I was in *this* much pain before. All 4 wisdom teeth have been coming in ... they are crumbling , excrutiating, and crushing the teeth next to them. I dont even know how many exposed nerves I have, and I can hardly open my jaw at all. All the drugs in the world arent helping ... they need to come out.
But! No insurance. No money. I keep praying that the pain will pass soon (sometimes it comes and goes, but its never felt this painful before and NEVER for this length of time). Im afraid to go to UIC and have college students do it for cheap because they dont give u meds and well .. they're beginners! Im scared enough to go to a REAL dentist, let alone some kid. *sigh*
I got some interviews lined up, all I need to do is get my brakes fixed and hopefully my teeth. I cant imagine starting a new job while being in this much pain, my work performance would SUCK, and my patience is barely existent right now. Hell, I doubt I could make it thru the final interview in this state. My teeth keep giving me migraines
Anyways! I'm really excited that we have a new sg here named Steller, who is just ridiculously beautiful ... I mean to the point where you could almost hate her for being so lovely, but shes so lovely that u cant, if that makes sense. Her set was shot by one of my favorite ladies here, Sioux, who is now in LABOR and I cant fuckin get thru to her on the phone and Im abt to DIE!!
Q's
~Know of any cheap places to get brakes fixed at?
~See any good movies lately?
~Who's the top 5 hottest ppl u know?
~Have u ever had a fight with a close friend/fam and both of u were too stubborn to try and mend the broken relationship? What was the outcome? Any advice for this situation?
xoxoxoxo
But! No insurance. No money. I keep praying that the pain will pass soon (sometimes it comes and goes, but its never felt this painful before and NEVER for this length of time). Im afraid to go to UIC and have college students do it for cheap because they dont give u meds and well .. they're beginners! Im scared enough to go to a REAL dentist, let alone some kid. *sigh*
I got some interviews lined up, all I need to do is get my brakes fixed and hopefully my teeth. I cant imagine starting a new job while being in this much pain, my work performance would SUCK, and my patience is barely existent right now. Hell, I doubt I could make it thru the final interview in this state. My teeth keep giving me migraines
Anyways! I'm really excited that we have a new sg here named Steller, who is just ridiculously beautiful ... I mean to the point where you could almost hate her for being so lovely, but shes so lovely that u cant, if that makes sense. Her set was shot by one of my favorite ladies here, Sioux, who is now in LABOR and I cant fuckin get thru to her on the phone and Im abt to DIE!!
Q's
~Know of any cheap places to get brakes fixed at?
~See any good movies lately?
~Who's the top 5 hottest ppl u know?
~Have u ever had a fight with a close friend/fam and both of u were too stubborn to try and mend the broken relationship? What was the outcome? Any advice for this situation?
xoxoxoxo
Having no internet connection is comparable to chopping off my right hand and chaining my ankles together. I cant seem to carry on with my life without MAJOR complications ensuing! This happens more and more frequently these days. 
I think it's pretty safe to say that I am an unsatisfied customer. (putting it VERY lightly)
~deep breath~
~~~exhale~~~
Everyone calm down ... I'm here. I havent left you. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm ... ONLINE
I'm going to FL in a wk or 2 to visit my new niece for the weekend, and my son will be staying with his g-parents for his spring break. I guess I'll have to start a new "Gears of War" game w/my man while hes gone so I can get my fix. VIOLENCE RULES!! Any aggression I may have, I take it out in my video games.
Blowing shit up on my tv screen is almost as good as blowing shit up in real life.
In other news, I have finally closed a chapter of my life that has been in limbo for some time now. The feeling ... relief. I had missed this person for some time, but had no idea that this person had become so ugly over time. Now that I am simply disgusted by this person, I no longer miss them. Dontcha just love happy endings?
I know this is a long shot, but Meg if by chance u are reading this ... I do miss you, but I think you are better off without me in your life. Also, Im really sorry to hear abt your grams.
ONWARD!
~Are u a victim of "internet smack talking"? How do u keep yourself from kicking this persons teeth out in real life? *Personally, I dont prevent myself from kicking someones ass .. I just hide my identity by wearing a ronald regan mask to ensure that charges cannot be pressed against me.
~Where do u stand on gun ownership and concealed weapons permits? *Funny how I was able to carry a weapon in FL where I didnt need one but cant carry one here in chicago where I do.
~
I think it's pretty safe to say that I am an unsatisfied customer. (putting it VERY lightly)~deep breath~
~~~exhale~~~
Everyone calm down ... I'm here. I havent left you. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm ... ONLINE
I'm going to FL in a wk or 2 to visit my new niece for the weekend, and my son will be staying with his g-parents for his spring break. I guess I'll have to start a new "Gears of War" game w/my man while hes gone so I can get my fix. VIOLENCE RULES!! Any aggression I may have, I take it out in my video games.
Blowing shit up on my tv screen is almost as good as blowing shit up in real life.
In other news, I have finally closed a chapter of my life that has been in limbo for some time now. The feeling ... relief. I had missed this person for some time, but had no idea that this person had become so ugly over time. Now that I am simply disgusted by this person, I no longer miss them. Dontcha just love happy endings?
I know this is a long shot, but Meg if by chance u are reading this ... I do miss you, but I think you are better off without me in your life. Also, Im really sorry to hear abt your grams.
ONWARD!
~Are u a victim of "internet smack talking"? How do u keep yourself from kicking this persons teeth out in real life? *Personally, I dont prevent myself from kicking someones ass .. I just hide my identity by wearing a ronald regan mask to ensure that charges cannot be pressed against me.
~Where do u stand on gun ownership and concealed weapons permits? *Funny how I was able to carry a weapon in FL where I didnt need one but cant carry one here in chicago where I do.
~
Amidst the cataclysm that is my everyday life, I am uncustomarily sedate. Perhaps I am just kidding myself and in actuality I am simply detatched from reality, but at any rate I am extremely grateful for my composure, especially considering our formidable circumstances.
I started a journal explaining every dismaying event, but I changed my mind, figuring "whats really the point?" I can sum it up in much fewer words. We've recently had quite a few unexpected complications, almost all of them were unavoidable financial issues. Then my man (who supports our fam on his income alone) was "let go" from his job.
I know it had to be so difficult for him to have to look me in the eyes and tell me that, but in that moment all I could care abt was him and his pain from feeling like he's let us down. But this man has *never* let me down, and probably never will. Perhaps he let his boss down, but not us. I was so relieved that he'll never have to go back to work for that shady, unethical slime.
Things will change dramatically around here as we both want to finish our education, yet we cant both go at the same time. One will have to support the other and vice versa, so even though Ive been accepted to several different institutions .. my dreams of becoming something more might be put on hold.
Aaaah well, such is life. It's rough, but we've been thru much worse before and survived and I have complete faith that we can pull thru this and become better/stronger ppl in the end.
As promised, here are some photos from the show that I just recieved!
Here is my sexy man on stage ...
Jen playing guitar ... or is she? The world may never know ...
Here's the Wraith live crew plus a girl named Michelle that we know (without her we wouldnt have these photos because my cameras battery decided it wanted to be goth that night and killed itself) and of course yours truly on the far right.
And finally, a pic of me and my man making a retarded face because of the ridiculously bright flash in the dark facility ...
Q's
~Are u an old fashioned type of person who believes that a man should take care of the woman/family, or are u more modern in that u believe a man and a woman should have equal responsibilities?
~What are some of your techniques that u do to keep your cool in a catastrophic situation ?
~What mistakes have u learned from in the past?
I started a journal explaining every dismaying event, but I changed my mind, figuring "whats really the point?" I can sum it up in much fewer words. We've recently had quite a few unexpected complications, almost all of them were unavoidable financial issues. Then my man (who supports our fam on his income alone) was "let go" from his job.
I know it had to be so difficult for him to have to look me in the eyes and tell me that, but in that moment all I could care abt was him and his pain from feeling like he's let us down. But this man has *never* let me down, and probably never will. Perhaps he let his boss down, but not us. I was so relieved that he'll never have to go back to work for that shady, unethical slime.
Things will change dramatically around here as we both want to finish our education, yet we cant both go at the same time. One will have to support the other and vice versa, so even though Ive been accepted to several different institutions .. my dreams of becoming something more might be put on hold.
Aaaah well, such is life. It's rough, but we've been thru much worse before and survived and I have complete faith that we can pull thru this and become better/stronger ppl in the end.
As promised, here are some photos from the show that I just recieved!
Here is my sexy man on stage ...
Jen playing guitar ... or is she? The world may never know ...
Here's the Wraith live crew plus a girl named Michelle that we know (without her we wouldnt have these photos because my cameras battery decided it wanted to be goth that night and killed itself) and of course yours truly on the far right.
And finally, a pic of me and my man making a retarded face because of the ridiculously bright flash in the dark facility ...
Q's
~Are u an old fashioned type of person who believes that a man should take care of the woman/family, or are u more modern in that u believe a man and a woman should have equal responsibilities?
~What are some of your techniques that u do to keep your cool in a catastrophic situation ?
~What mistakes have u learned from in the past?
Now that I've collected myself, I'll keep my little bitchfest in a spoilers section since it's LONG and boring. I just needed to vent, I'm fine now. For the few of u who actually had the patience to read it ... I (luckily!) fixed my tire. But now I have to fix my breaks and pay for a hefty unexpected vet bill for the cat, on top of all the other normal bills for the wk. AND, my mans boss has up & decided to NOT pay him weekly anymore. He will be getting paid MONTHLY now ... which means (yep) we have to make one wks worth of pay last a month. How? I have no idea! Any suggestions??? Wtf kind of boss does this kind of shit anyway? Bastard!
After the most hellacious day ever, I managed to crack a little smile here, despite the ultimately BITTER fucking cold us smokers have to deal with now that the smoking ban passed here.
Here's my new friend, tallboy! He really lives up to that name, believe me! He talked to me as if he'd known me for 17 yrs already, which was cool.
After the most hellacious day ever, I managed to crack a little smile here, despite the ultimately BITTER fucking cold us smokers have to deal with now that the smoking ban passed here.
Here's my new friend, tallboy! He really lives up to that name, believe me! He talked to me as if he'd known me for 17 yrs already, which was cool.
APPARENTLY, today is valentines day. I say, BOYCOTT this lame ass holiday! No one tells me when, where, and how I should show appreciation for my mate! I dont *need* a specific holiday to buy him something or show him hes special, and vice versa. VD is just an excuse to get ppl to buy crap, same as sweetest day or whatever.
q's
~What are some of your pet peeves that involve other ppl?
~When was the last time u were embarassed by the ppl u hung out with?
~What is your "fantasy" mate like?
~Is it ok for the person you're dating to have small crushes on others?
*WARNING* Many rodent photos!
Look at that smile ...
Mamma will never see that smile again. I have burried many rats in my day, however I can't seem to escort dear Luxor out to the backyard just yet. He even gets a fancy coffin. I *meant* to have some $$ saved up to have him cremated, since he was too special to put underground. But ... well, that didnt happen.
This animal was unbelievable. While being on his death bed, hardly able to breathe or even eat/drink, he held on for another THREE months in this condition, smiling until the very end. Every day I held him in my arms for hours and hours, and he would just brux and boggle away in delight of just spending time with his "person". Never made any attempt to leave his momma. There are "mommas" boys, and there are "daddys" boys, but Luxor was always a momma boy.
I know I posted this photo several months back when he was first starting to die, but who knew he'd last *this* long after that? I cant say enough great things abt this little guy, he was just so happy all the time. Im soooo happy I got to spend the last few months together everyday, I'm so grateful.
Wanna see him as a BABY? Of course u do!!!
Awww!!!
Look at him with his big uncle Inky (R.I.P Inky Inkers)
And here, with his little brother Vishnu (ok so not "little" bro, but still bro) these 2 were inseperable!
Ahhh, good times, good times.
This yr is going to be really horrid for us, since most of our animals are old and will undoubtedly pass this YEAR. So we'll probably have a death here every few months for quite a while. Some are admittedly harder than others, like I said, some of them are very "special". Some are more Wills than mine, others are my sons.
The next one to go will be one of our twin American blue boys, Nexus.
Guess what? Nexus has lived here since the day he was born.
Look at hjim sucking on his brothers tail! He is abt a wk old here.
Here he is on top of a couple boys on the right! (2 wks)
And here he is in the grp of bros and sisters, he's the only one lookin at the camera.
And finally, here he is all grown up and handsome:
AND FINALLY ... if you havent gotten this by now, here it is: fucking BE THERE on SUNDAY!! Or I will HUNT YOU DOWWWWN!! This is a very important show and important ppl will be there! Yeah me, too.
Q's
~Tell me abt your most special pet
~Why dont u have any pet ratties? (obviously you're excluded from this if u are among the few that DO)
~what are your plans this weekend coming up?
Look at that smile ...
Mamma will never see that smile again. I have burried many rats in my day, however I can't seem to escort dear Luxor out to the backyard just yet. He even gets a fancy coffin. I *meant* to have some $$ saved up to have him cremated, since he was too special to put underground. But ... well, that didnt happen.
This animal was unbelievable. While being on his death bed, hardly able to breathe or even eat/drink, he held on for another THREE months in this condition, smiling until the very end. Every day I held him in my arms for hours and hours, and he would just brux and boggle away in delight of just spending time with his "person". Never made any attempt to leave his momma. There are "mommas" boys, and there are "daddys" boys, but Luxor was always a momma boy.
I know I posted this photo several months back when he was first starting to die, but who knew he'd last *this* long after that?
I cant say enough great things abt this little guy, he was just so happy all the time. Im soooo happy I got to spend the last few months together everyday, I'm so grateful. Wanna see him as a BABY? Of course u do!!!
Awww!!!
Look at him with his big uncle Inky (R.I.P Inky Inkers)
And here, with his little brother Vishnu (ok so not "little" bro, but still bro) these 2 were inseperable!
Ahhh, good times, good times.
This yr is going to be really horrid for us, since most of our animals are old and will undoubtedly pass this YEAR. So we'll probably have a death here every few months for quite a while. Some are admittedly harder than others, like I said, some of them are very "special". Some are more Wills than mine, others are my sons.
The next one to go will be one of our twin American blue boys, Nexus.
Guess what? Nexus has lived here since the day he was born.
Look at hjim sucking on his brothers tail! He is abt a wk old here.
Here he is on top of a couple boys on the right! (2 wks)
And here he is in the grp of bros and sisters, he's the only one lookin at the camera.
And finally, here he is all grown up and handsome:
AND FINALLY ... if you havent gotten this by now, here it is: fucking BE THERE on SUNDAY!! Or I will HUNT YOU DOWWWWN!! This is a very important show and important ppl will be there! Yeah me, too.
Q's
~Tell me abt your most special pet
~Why dont u have any pet ratties? (obviously you're excluded from this if u are among the few that DO)
~what are your plans this weekend coming up?
