Thank you for sharin..

It's not your look that really matters in this world. The people that understand that are the ones that will judge you by your actions. Those are the ones you want around anyways, to hell with everyone else.

It's not just about conforming. Most people just naturally grow out of that sort of thing and it probably leaves them wondering why you didn't.

you should stay true to who you are, no matter your age, your working status or anything like that. your child is your child as an individual and you are an individual, you're his mother of course but you're ash too

Yeah it is pretty fucked.

I am kind of going through the same thing. I am 28 years old.... and I keep thinking things like "should I retire my piercings??" "Should I stop getting tattoos?" " Is my dress age appropriate?" "should I keep dying my hair different colors?"

I go back and forth. I mean I know I age well and I don't look like I'm 28. But at the same time I wonder if I didn't have any tattoos or piercings if people would see me differently. I don't know. I keep feeling like I should just "grow up", let go and move on.... but would I be being myself if I did that??? It doesn't help that the guy I am seeing is only 20... I feel kind of old. Also, I know that his parents are conservative...... what would they think of me???

You are not alone. I am sure there a lot of us going through this at this very minute.

I found an interesting commentary on older goths . Personally, I've come to realize that standing out leads to persecution. People say be true to your self, while others will comment on how far from the norm you are, and wished you wouldn't be yourself.

What's affecting your life the most? My wife had to give up her piercings and go to a natural hair color for her job. If it's really affecting your life, I'd try to find some kind of happy medium, keep the clothes go with the black hair dress the part of a semi-normal adult during. Go all out on the weekend.

On the other side of the coin take my mother in-law, she's 50 something, likes her 80's mini skirts, tall boots and clubbing shirts. After 2 kids though her body hasn't kept in her clothes. So my alternative wife, now without piercings cringes, whenever mom dresses like she's going out to a bar in the 80's. Whether it's right or wrong, it happens.

Personally I love metal and industrial, but I don't look the part. I'll just listen to it and let my inner horn throwing self smile.

Sorry for the lack of easy answers Ash.

no one can tell you how to behave, not even your kids. speaking from experience though, kids hate to see their parents change drastically, because then even they don't know them anymore

How have you been lately!

Yes the US is fucked up. But sometimes in a good way!

I often get the feeling that the whole world is fucked up. I just try to fix what I can and help where I can.

I hate that sometimes you have to have a certain look to be accepted in some parts of society. It's one of the things I would most like to change if I only knew how. But I don't have a clue where to even begin.

You are not fucked up. You are just different. That's not a bad thing. This would be a pretty boring world if everyone conformed to the norm.

Don't be so down on yourself Ash. It makes no difference what music you listen to or what style of clothing, makeup, or hair you have. Hell, screw what others think of you. From the little time I knew you, I always thought you were a great person. Beautiful inside and out. I still do too. If people want to judge then let them. It's their loss, not yours. Do, dress, listen, etc to what makes you happy. And don't worry about your son, I know he'll be just fine. After all, he has a great mother and father that do whatever they can to make sure he is loved and taken care of. That's something a lot of kids don't have.