SuicideGirl: Ash
suicidegirl

Ash Good .. bad ... I'm the guy with the gun

I’m private
 
JUL 19, 2008 | AUG 30, 2008
VIEW ALL BLOG POSTS
Blog Post
Saturday blog
AUGUST 9, 2008 @ 05:37 PM


Well ... what can I say? We all have our defense mechanisms, some healthy, some not. I have both. Its hard to concentrate right now on anything but feeling so ... incomplete. I dont wanna do shit lately .. and to be honest, I havent done a damn thing. Laundry & dishes pile up, mail piles up, I dont wanna move ... absolutely nothing gets done anymore. I hope I snap out of it soon. I didnt go home for the first week after Will left, and when I did it was like torture. Everything at home reminds me of him, so I left again. I'm staying with my best friend and shes been wonderful.

I keep sitting down here, wanting to go thru and reply to my messages ... but my mood is never in the right place to do that. Right now, I dont feel like Ash , it's like I feel traces of Ash but a substantial part of my soul is . I miss all of you, and I genuinely *want* to reply to all of you .. but not when Im like this. I feel like I'm just not focused enough on positive energy to enable me to make even a halfway decent reply to your journals. I feel selfish for not being able to bring myself to do it just yet ... and I feel like a million yrs have passed since I've been in contact with any of my friends here. All I can say is ... Im sorry. I miss u guys. I just need some time to re gather my inner mental badassedness.

**Trivia question for you guys**

Who was the first Chicago sg?

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next

Comments
TheFreddy

TheFreddy

Chicago, IL
February 2004

AUG 09, 2008 05:45 PM

we miss too. I was wondering where you've been, girl.

I've felt like that too. All I can see if you be more active you'll eventually snap out of it. Just keep yourself busy for a while and that'll keep your mind occupied and you want have time to think about all the negative shit that's been happening.

But I hope you're doing well, homegirl. Keep your head up.

Ticktockman

Ticktockman

Durham, NC
April 2006

AUG 09, 2008 05:54 PM

It's alright, Ash, take some time out. Dealing with my own...issues, I've not had much motivation either. I mostly do what the anger makes easy to do: running, hitting our punching bag, and *oh is that a drink before me?*

It'll come together, girl; just give it time. Take care.

-TTm

Dr_Lizardo

Dr_Lizardo

Indian Orchard, MA
February 2006

AUG 09, 2008 05:57 PM

*hugs*

You've got as good a reason for feeling that way as could possibly exist. SG isn't going anywhere and will still be around when you're up for net interactions again.

bigwhelturnsmal

bigwhelturnsmal

Knoxville, TN
January 2004

AUG 09, 2008 06:02 PM

it is nice to hear from you.

additionAD

AcidEvangelist

AcidEvangelist

Minneapolis, MN
March 2004

AUG 09, 2008 06:15 PM

Hugs to you, sweetie. We're here for you. kiss

Scarlett

Scarlett

SUICIDEGIRL

New Hampshire, USA

AUG 09, 2008 06:35 PM

Was it you??

I was the first NH girl!

Anyway, I feel like you feel , all the time. For the past 2 years... maybe thats what being jaded is all about? I feel like I am nothing without dope.... boo. I feel like a shell of myself the past couple of years. I am a fat lazy blob who doesnt want to move...... same feeling babe.

I miss you. You can always talk to me, and we can ummm not talk together. LOL

heidi1313

heidi1313

Philadelphia, PA
July 2005

AUG 09, 2008 06:37 PM

big hugs to you......
msg me when you feel up to it!! kiss kiss

superdave69

superdave69

Alsip, IL
February 2008

AUG 09, 2008 06:52 PM

i know shits tough with him gone but you need to get things done yourself. or it will make him being gone worse everyday that goes by. just fuck off this weekend and try on monday to start fresh. you will feel better. good luck and hope you feel better real soon. MY GUESS IS JUST LIKE SCARLET I WILL SAY YOUR THE FIRST love

Cyberiouse

Cyberiouse

Chicago, IL
August 2004

AUG 09, 2008 06:57 PM

I miss you so much ASH frown I miss chatting with you on AIM for hours even past the point where we both needed to go and like DO things lol. I never got to hang out with you like we had always planned. I still would love to . i have a decent job for once so it will be my treat.

PunkNiteMike

PunkNiteMike

Piqua, OH
OLD SKOOL

AUG 09, 2008 07:18 PM

dont hurry yourself getting back here, take all the time you need. we arent going anywhere, we'll all be here when you are ready to return! ill keep ya in my thoughts!

i think im coming to chicago for Riot Fest oct. 10th - 12th, wanna hang?

SoCal_Drew

SoCal_Drew

San Diego, CA
August 2006

AUG 09, 2008 07:32 PM

Take all the time you need wink kiss kiss kiss

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

AUG 09, 2008 08:40 PM

your in my positive thoughts hun, you know i wish you guys the best.

Diablolipop

Diablolipop

Forest Lake, MN
February 2004

AUG 09, 2008 09:30 PM

sorry that your feeling the way you do. wish there was a happy button i could push for you. so this will have to do...

ron4164

ron4164

Ponchatoula, LA
January 2007

AUG 09, 2008 11:06 PM

What the... tongue
Well, I hope you start feeling the positive energy we're sending your way.))))))))))))))))))))))
You take care. Hope the lethargy goes away soon sweetie. kiss kiss

Jamila

Jamila

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

AUG 09, 2008 11:21 PM

I know all about being in a funk and not being able to motivate.
I hope it breaks for you soon frown kiss

PreviousNext
Past
OCTOBER 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

SEPTEMBER 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

AUGUST 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

JULY 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31