I spent last night at the hospital..


I am fine and so is the baby..but it was still quite a scare...now it's just bed rest until my obgyn appointment, which is fine..I am actually exhausted..I can't recall the last time I was so tired



so..movie recommendations? I have a lot of time on my hands

hey, I took a test


go tellCashCow congratulations!
I feel happy..and refreshed..and everything else that you are supposed to feel
so much so..that I am at a loss of words


so..not to sure what's up with Home Again
but, I guess that's the gamble with member review..I think I actually like the set more now than I did before..it kind of looks pregnant

I need a distraction
and I need sleep

meanwhile..I need to leave this up
Home Again

right now, I wish more than anything that I just knew
because this decision is bigger than me


oh yeah..no Alaska, hopefully it will still be there when the time is right







Home Again

so it's set..I have my plane ticket
I will be in Alaska from October 8th until October 25th
this is a big deal to me, I have wanted to see Alaska my whole life
to top it off...I get to meet this lovely lady...

listen listen listen...click on Alaska..it's my favorite song by them
http://www.ilike.com/artist/The+Voluptuous+Horror+Of+Karen+Black

I am so frustrated with doctors right now..it makes me want to cry..my medication costs like 300 dollars a month so I have been looking online to try to find a less expensive route...I found a Canadian website, but it takes 2 - 4 weeks to ship the medication out..because I have no fucking insurance, my doctor has me come in once a month to get a refill...which costs about 100 dollars for the visit...explaining my situation..you think he would give me refills..now I can't order the medication..because it will take too long to get here

and now I have to go in for a series of blood work and tests $$$$....I don't know why I am bitching, it's my own fault for not having insurance..I just really need to vent...I have just had so many dental and medical bills lately..it really does seem like the more money I make..the more expenses that seem to come up

when I am done with this blog..I need to exercise..I feel like I am going to burst with anxiety...I have been trying to read while I go on a bike or elliptical...it makes time go by quicker..right now I am reading The Shining..I read a couple of his books when I was younger, but lost interest in his writing. I finished Carrie a week or so ago..I liked it, it wasn't scary, but it was entertaining..The Shining, however gives me the heebie geebies..

then maybe wii fit..that should lift my mood

it's a good thing I exercise because I am hungry 24/7 I eat more than my man..it's weird..I should be way bigger than a size 3/4..speaking of..he fit into my pants last night..they were stretchy, but still..it was pretty hysterical..next time..photos

I found this from The Pin Up For Soldier shoot
AlissaBrunelli shot this...it was great being able to work with her again
even if only for a few minutes




I feel lame posting my set every time I make a blog, but I really want this to go up and I think it would get lost otherwise , so if you haven't checked it out..please do and leave me some lovely comments..thank you
Home Again





plus..I am excited to see how my shoot with Cherry turned out..did I tell you how much I liked her..she has the greatest presence..just nice and relaxed, somewhat reserved..it was so refreshing

kind of a dreary day...with the weather to match


woke up..went to the doctors..no insurance makes me an unhappy girl
I am having some digestive problems that will probably take a zillion trips to the doctor and even more money to figure out the cause. As of now...doc thinks I am somewhat malnourished..not diet related..just not absorbing nutrients..what the fuck? why eat? it's all too hilarious because I eat insanely healthy..oh well..he gave me an injection of b12, the thought of administrating these to myself on a regular basis doesn't quite sit well
and then an estimate of my next bill ..thanx doc..

oh, and he took my temperature and was like, you know you have a fever? 99.8? and I was like, "yeah, that happens a lot..my temperature goes up and down" he looked at me funny and said that he would take it again before I left...he did and it was 98.6..now at home I have a fever again..I forgot that that was weird

after the doctors..it was off to a funeral, never a good thing..I didn't know the deceased very well, but I went to be there for someone who did... not to sound horribly cliché, but I really don't know what to do in that situation..I haven't been to a lot of funerals..it seems that people die when I am not around or after they move...I guess there really are no words

looks like Alaska is going to happen..I just needed to kind of dig down and see if I was ready to leave home again..man, am I going to be cold...this girl does not do well in low temperatures...and now I can not get the song "Alaska", by "Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black" out of my head
if you are not familiar with the band

I adore her...so much..I think she is perfection


Dawn Of The Dead is on in the background..I don't feel well, and I could still take out two of those zombies if they fumbled into my room. Rage infected from 28 Weeks Later..not so much. Have I ever mentioned my obsession with that movie? love, love, love it...I have the dad on my computer as my screen saver...but, it needs to go...because if I leave the computer on and happen to wake up from a nightmare..it doesn't help

ok...last but not least...I have a set up in member review shot by CashCow
go take a look and leave me some love
xoxoxo

Home Again





time to play with my cat..he has a pipe cleaner in his mouth and is looking at me like..what the fuck?
I know your jealous that my cat plays catch

I have not been able to enjoy films..I get bored..and I am sure everyone hates to hear me talk about how Deadwood is the only thing I want to see




so I decided that I need a good book...reading comes in waves...sometimes I read books by the dozen...sometimes it takes me a week to finish a chapter

I think my problem was...all I was reading lately was from male homosexuals..Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, John Waters..a girl needs a break, I needed something different...well this paired with the fact that I wanted to see horror films..I decided to get some..ugh..Stephen King, I read his books when I was young...and I actually have a story about it..I posted this in the horror group so I am just going to copy and paste..

I read Pet Sematary when I was younger...true story...my cat died while I was in the middle of the book and it was summer..on a weekend, so my mom put my cat in a garbage bag in the freezer to preserve it...so it wouldn't stink because we couldn't get to the vet's office to properly dispose him..we lived in an upper flat above a store on a busy street in the city..no back yard

it creeped me out... a lot

anyhow..I just finished "Carrie..



it was good..a quick read, I read it in less than a day and it was more satisfying than a shitty film so that's good..now I am going to read "The Shining" and I am actually scared...the movie scared the hell out of me..and books seem to freak me out more than films...

oh..hey, I am naked again
go take a look
Home Again

thank you for all the comments on "Home Again"
I appreciate it..hopefully it helps it to go on the front page!
if you haven't checked it out yet, then please do and leave me some love

Home Again





all has been well, I got to see some old friends..
Mike was visiting from New York
he looks like the devil..


Laura was cleaning out her storage boxes and we found some costumes


my memory of Havana is so blurry and the only photos that I have are of me wearing CashCow's pants...I woke up still drunk and needed to get ready to do a shoot with Cherry

rented "Noriko's Dinner Table''
was awful..had to turn it off
my attention span is getting shorter every day
what I don't understand is how I can watch the same episodes of Deadwood a zillion times and not get bored

I may be going to Alaska for a 2 or 3 weeks
I love traveling and never really had the chance because I had my son at such an early age...
he is older and less dependent so it's a completely different direction in parenting
going off by yourself to unknown places is so liberating..it refreshes me
and get ready for cheese..like, I don't have an actual list or anything
but, I always said I need to see a whale before I die
they fascinate me...how sweet is this



makes me melt

back to the dentist again...he needs to check the extractions
and fix a crack in my tooth that wasn't there when I went in
oops..his bad!

make sure to go leave some love on my new set in member review

Home Again

Havana was great...I was however a bit fuzzy from Vicodin so please forgive me if I didn't say hi. Someone once told me that they were really surprised that I was so nice, because they heard that I was a bitch..from people on the site...I didn't think I was noticed enough to have a certain persona, let alone bitchy...

I could only stay for the Pin Up For Soldier shoot and the party at Havana..it all went by so quick...drinks, hot ladies everywhere.. I did however get to shoot with Cherry..she is such a sweet and lovely girl, and I absolutely loved working with her, even though we were both probably not feeling up to par after the party at Havana

on the way home..CashCow and I went to an indoor water park..we thought, what the fuck? my teeth don't hurt anymore..let's just swallow two vicodin and play in the water..it was so much fun..I felt like I could do that forever..it was a surreal experience..we probably looked like complete freaks

this isn't the same one we went to, but..it was my favorite slide

Home Again goes up soon...can't wait to see what everyone thinks of it



I'm thinking of adopting a kitten..not sure if it's a male or female. I saw the tiny thing and as soon as I noticed that it was missing it's tail..I fell in love..I am worried about Mercury though..he is such a bully and I don't know if he will adjust..

just random nudity..




now I need to go play some Wii and then get ready..I will hopefully be spending time with a friend of mine who is home visiting from New York..I miss him