Wow you're amazing !

I hope to see you soon

HAHAHAHA actually I shouted out that text cause I was, also, catching up with the Second Sex and precisely reading about the childhood chapter !
It depressed me so much, as always with that book (oooh why am I reading it again then ?), then it wakened up some other angry bits I've been carrying since my birthday. When one of my gay friend expressed to me how lost and misunderstanding and kinda shocked he felt to see my relationship with Didier, cause I am a girl. So of course I just smiled and answered "I am not a girl" and he insisted, "Of course you are."

It made me so sad, so so so sad. How can I not be sad to see that even people used to be surrounded by outcasts, gays, discriminated ones, the very ones that would have all the keys and experiences to think a bit further, are not, actually, thinking further. I don't mean I was angry at him.But he made me realise how hurtful it is for me to hear, everyday, these people saying me "Yes you are, a girl" while I try my best to give hints about identity and gender.

Also, you are very kind, I mean, very kin to acceptance and niceness and politeness, although you are so thoughtful ; and also cis-gender, as we already talked a bit about it in Benfeld, therefore I am not surprised that the sexist issues, and furthermore, the gender issues, came to you quite late in your life. Maybe also, you were bathed enough in rampant misogyny, but not a too blatant one, and we all have lots of internalized misogyny - it's really hard to step away and actually see it.

The interesting point, with what you wrote about your breasts (and I do understand), is that, in my case, though I don't identify at all as a woman, I'm really happy with my breasts and actually enjoy them a lot. Strange, isn't it ? I wouldn't mind not having breast, but I don't mind having them. I like to be chestbound but for me it's not the sentiment of obliterating my breasts that makes me happy - it's the feeling I'm obliterating a part of what make people think I'm a woman. It's a pure trick on my external appearance. As well as I never had penis envy, nor a desire to change my genitals or anything. I feel I'm neutral inside - or if not neutral, something in between gender, or both genders, or whatever - and I don't feel some parts are wrong then. I'm lucky, I like my body and my face for being quite androgynous and match enough what I feel I am, so the breasts are just one more weird part of the mix

About the human fascination for breasts - I agree with the milking and motherhood part - but I also think it has to do, simply, with the fact it's THE feminine attribute. The more "seeable", the more "external", in a way, as would be the penis for men ; and I guess you noticed the huge, universal, tiresome phallocentrism of the world.

Now that we talk about external attributes of genders and fixations, have I already pointed you out my own fascination for beards, and boobs ? Hahaha.

I read on Dwam's blog than you read Simone de Beauvoir "second sexe". If i can suggest you, i just read "king kong theory" on Virginie Despentes which is a french feminist and I know, many women are touched by this book. I just read "Mémoire d'une jeune fille rangée" of Simone de Beauvoir, and i'm totaly in love with her style, it's very intersting how she'll became the feminist we know.

So beautiful, so sexy

I like when you send me sexual french poetry <3