JULY 22, 2012 @ 12:15 PM


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There have been rainbows. There has been about three days of sun for the whole of June and July but mostly rain, so I've been doing lots of reading, baking, painting, saving insects from puddles. I am grateful to be starting a new job tomorrow. I'm so glad to have finished my contract at the museum, that job was so disappointing. What is supposed to be a cultural institution feels like an intellectual and cultural black hole. I'm going to be doing something closer to my first job after university which was nursing on a stroke rehabilitation ward. My new job will be working with people with Alzheimer's, doing art and music and going for walks or whatever people want to do. I'm really looking forward to starting. I know it won't be easy but it will be quite different from the previous hospital job as I won't have to do night shifts and I won't have to do so much of the physically demanding work that job involved. I hope I can do something really good and imaginative with it and help people feel better, to rest their minds and enjoy their lives more. My little brother has been accepted to Cambridge University to do a masters in Mathematics, I'm so excited for him and so proud. He found out the same day that I got my new job so surely this has to be a good time coming up for everyone. I really hope he loves it and learns so many amazing things.

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I'm a bit sad that I've been wearing my winter cardigan nearly every day this summer. Today was beautiful though so maybe August will be nice. Talking about the weather. Bad habit.

Because I'm in between my last and my new job I've had a bit more free time than usual and I've been baking cakes about ever 2 or 3 days and it's so nice. It's been like having summer holidays from school or something.

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These were all almond cakes with things like blueberries and peaches or apricots and raspberries. So nice!

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Chocolate and beetroot brownies, which sounds strange but tastes delicious. These are all gluten free and dairy free :-)

Any day it hasn't been raining too heavily I've been out in the garden and I've been happily watching all the different insects that try to drown themselves in my tea cup or walk across the pages of the book I'm reading. I have a great love of antennae and watching tiny creatures rub their legs together or clean antennae and wings. I realised a strange habit of mine while looking through old pictures -

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zoom image A Bee sat on my mug for ages.
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We found this bee on the outside of a window ledge completely soaked and bedraggled. I think it had been drowning in a puddle and someone had fished it out with a bit of paper and put him on the window. I took it home and put it on a towel and gave it some honey and after about half an hour of drying its wings, rubbing its body with its little legs, running them together and doing cool things with its antennae it managed to take flight and flew out the living room window onto a pink flower via the pear tree. I loved it eating honey with its strange little proboscis from my hand. Maybe it would have been fine anyway as they are of course designed to deal with bad weather but it ate so much honey so quickly that I think it must have been quite exhausted.

I realised how great woodlice are too. I think I was always still slightly freaked of them but on watching them closely and holding them I rid myself of that feeling and now I find them delightful. That often happens with people too.

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Sometimes drawing things that look like things, as an exercise or to prove I can do it. But I prefer to draw things that are less decipherable.

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I found a place to go and draw from a life model once a week so I've been doing that. It's the first time I've drawn from the figure since I was doing my Fine Art degree so it's been really nice to do that again. It's made me think about some interesting things about the human body but I'll save that for another journal.

Then I've just been doing lots of watercolours of moths or automatic anatomical things where I let the brush and paint do what they want. I really enjoy that.

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Reading <3
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I just finished my second reading of To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. I must write a proper journal about her writing soon. I don't often read book more than once because there are so many others that I want to read but you really do get so much out of a second or third reading. I was thinking that it might actually be better to read The Brothers Karamazov 10 times than 100 other books?!

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(I'm not actually reading Finnegan's Wake just yet, I bought it for my father because he's been having a year of Ulysses and all things Joycean and this copy was so beautiful. One day though!)

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We found this reading stand in the room full of stuff. I'm so happy with it. I get so achey in all the weird positions I read in while trying to hold up heavy books. It's quite a funny archaic seeming object but I love it.

More Painting

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And I must thank you all for the amazing, lovely comments on my member review set. I really appreciate that you still leave comments on my sets after far too many sets >.< I'm actually a bit embarrassed about how many sets I have now, it seems really silly. But I enjoy making them and of course it's extremely helpful having them bought. I have a few more sets waiting but I'm not sure if I'll shoot any more after that, it can only go on for so long right? I have about 4 waiting though so don't worry (if you were thinking of worrying ;-))! I often wish I could replace the bad early sets with my new ones! Anyway, I love what P_mod did with this set. It's always so great to work with him. Did you notice the hidden black and white pictures that he took on his Hasselblad?

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Do you know what would make me really happy though? If these other amazing sets would see the front page. I'd love it if you would go and leave a comment on them <3 I even make a little cameo in this one of Dwam. I got to be Titania in her Midsummer Night's Dream. How lucky I am.

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See a Midsummer Night's Dream here!

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Sioo - Robots Race

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Succette - Inspiration

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Key - The Lady in the House of Love

Of course there are a hundred more but I'll try to add a few with each journal. One these ones are live ;-)

Phew. I need to go and sleep now. Night night x

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Comments
abjabber

abjabber

Springfield, OR
July 2012

AUG 08, 2012 07:16 PM

That is the most insightful and inspirational blog I've read. My exwife is a nurse that specialized in dementia and it is a very rewarding field but also sad when they pass away. You stimulate so many senses, the bee story was heartwarming. Thank you for sharing and, since I'm new to the website, I hope you make lots of new sets and blogs. Thank you for being so beautiful in so many ways.love

Emanuelle

Emanuelle

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

AUG 10, 2012 02:21 PM

thank you sweet ♥ means a lot
that cake look fantastic i want the recipe love
you have to make pumking pie

Clio

Clio

SUICIDEGIRL

Netherlands

AUG 11, 2012 05:39 AM

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SillyNobleman

SillyNobleman

Canton, GA
December 2009

AUG 11, 2012 12:17 PM

How appropriate, Clio! biggrin
AnnaLee, you have so much artistic talent. Once you've moved on from your modeling "career," do keep up with displaying your art; it's provocative and beautiful.

_NOX_

_NOX_

HOPEFUL

Netherlands

AUG 11, 2012 12:41 PM

Your journals are lovely, your photos and writing create a feeling of warmth, intelect and creativity. It really speaks to me, especially your bug observations and drawings. I have a Fine Art degree and a fascination for creepy crawlies too!

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for your support on my set, that means a lot to me. Also, congrats on your new job, I really hope it will all turn out good for you.
kiss

Eureka_

Eureka_

HOPEFUL

Mexico

AUG 14, 2012 02:38 PM

You have no idea how much I enjoy reading your blogs smile

Danette

Danette

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

AUG 14, 2012 06:32 PM

You're always so stunning darling. You're like an inspiration, i see everything on your blog and all is so perfect and armonic. The paintings, the books, the photos... I loved it, i really do!
Thanks for sharing all this with us ♥

Tourniquette

Tourniquette

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

AUG 14, 2012 08:17 PM

You are so lovely! love your ink.... and your pics!!!kisskisskiss

Kyoko

Kyoko

SUICIDEGIRL

Iceland

AUG 15, 2012 03:13 AM

Thank you blush I can't wait for it either! : P

Lycidas

Lycidas

Washington, DC
July 2012

AUG 16, 2012 09:20 PM

Check your mail!!

There is a very important question, using your talents!!

smilesmilesmilewink

Nadeshda

Nadeshda

SUICIDEGIRL

Germany

AUG 17, 2012 04:14 AM

you're watercolours are quite impressive. I especially love the moths! Wish I had some talent my own smile

I actually gave some thought to the fact that we're pretty much selling these images of a former you/me to this site and how this will effect your/my life in the futere. since in my case it's by far not as many as yours I was interested in your opinion. Do you ever worry about it? Have you made any bad experiences so far?
I have not suffered in anyway as other girls tell. My family knows about this and pretty much everyone I call my friend.
But it's only been about 2 years... Just wondering how other girls feel about this blush

Phoenix

Phoenix

SUICIDEGIRL

Alberta, Canada

AUG 21, 2012 11:42 AM

I'm going to have to find a used copy of that book asap. That passage was beautiful!

Thanks for the nice words about my new painting. I have found myself wanting to paint women with more character to them.

I do hope to see you do some "real" paintings soon. I really want to know what you picture in your mind as a "real" painting, since what you've been doing is so beautiful and interesting I can only imagine what a more ambitious project would be! smile The first is always the hardest. I'm not sure exactly what the thoughts are that paralyze you, but perhaps it might help to have a specific goal in mind when you start a painting that is unrelated to any conceptual idea. Most of the time when I do a painting I have a formal goal, usually to do with particular lighting, textures and colors. So I am preoccupying my brain with formal challenges and I don't end up lost in conceptual hell. It keeps me in the head space of curiosity and discovery.

It also helps me immensely to write things out and talk to people about what's hindering me. Usually half way through a conversation I realize how ridiculous my problems are. I think these paralyses, in my case, have much to do with energy blockages and so focusing my intent on them and releasing them through yoga and writing helps me to realize the conceptual issues I was perceiving are just meanderings of the mind. If nothing else, I remind myself that not painting is worse than any "bad" painting I might make. In fact, bad paintings are the most helpful.

Sorry for the essay! I hope it helps.

DrewBeckett

DrewBeckett

United Kingdom
October 2005

AUG 21, 2012 12:07 PM

A fun link with its origins in Edinburgh.

20 irrefutable laws of book cover design

Plot

Plot

USA
December 2007

AUG 22, 2012 04:19 PM

You are absolutely fascinating.

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