PICS
There are the starry skies, and I do not know what mankind has already learned about them, not even the order of the stars do I know. And so it is with flowers, with animals, with the simplest laws, that function here and there and go through the world in a few strides from beginning to end. How life occurs, how it operates in ordinary animals, how it ramifies and spreads, how life blossoms, how it bears: all that I long to learn. Through participation in it all to bind myself more firmly to reality - which so often denies me - to be of it , not only in feeling but also by knowledge, always and always; that I believe is what I need, to become more sure and not so homeless.
I also really enjoyed something in the foreward to the conversations with Beuys where the writer talks about a different formulation of 'the aesthetic' which goes back to its origins as the opposite of 'anaesthetic' or numbness. From this perspective, aesthetic comes to mean 'enlivened being'. This not only turns the contemporary usage of 'aesthetic', as something rather cosmetic and superficial, on its head, but links such 'enlivened being' to responsibility, not as a moral imperitive, but to response-ability or the ability to respond! So this overcoming of numbness and enlivening of being can engage one, make one internally active, mobilize people's imagination.
Anyway, maybe one day I will have something to say myself rather than just regurgitating bits and pieces from all the writings I like.
Continuing on the subject of mortality from last time I wrote here, I went to my first funeral last week. It was an interesting experience. I do not feel a personal loss as I didn't know him well, I had only met him a few times but watching his wife and his children and grandchildren was really sad. It was my mothers uncle and he had reached the amazing age of 91 so it was of course inevitable and he had lived a great and long life. It's always sad watching the family who have been left behind though and I am very sensitive I know but contemplating on someones life and all the precious things that have passed always makes me cry. My mum said he was a really good person and she had spent lots of wonderful summers at his and her aunts house when she was a child. When they were carrying the coffin down it was a very strange feeling, to think of the corpse lying inside there. I felt sad watching my grandmother too, he was her brother. There used to be seven brothers and sisters and now there is only two left, my grandmother and her sister.
It's must be very odd watching your big family slowly depleting. I suppose that is why new generations are so important, you see that at times like these when people need help or looked after and when someone dies and the family becomes smaller. I cannot imagine making a new generation myself though and sometimes that scares me, I guess time will tell. His son made a beautiful eulogy for him, talking about all the things he had taught him in his life. He talked about how his mother and father had met. It really tore at my heart. I honestly don't know how I will handle a funeral of someone I am really close to though. I had to work really hard not to start sobbing. It's strange that we have to try so hard to keep our emotions so under wraps here though, I've read about other cultures who will let all the grief come out with sound. I think it seems more natural. I don't think we could handle the noise of hundreds of crying people though as the way we deal with such things is so ingrained. Anyway, that is life and death and so it goes.
NOV 30, 2008 04:23 AM
*hugs*
im sorry for your loss and for your mother's loss, and i can definitely understand what you mean by watching the family depleting....
*hugs hugs hugs*
i think one of the things that makes you so beautiful is your sensitivity, please never ever forget how rare of a treasure such a thing is in such a cold world.
so many people are so cut off from one another, its amazing to find someone with such an open heart.
*hugs*
your painting is almost done.
and i adore you. 
NOV 30, 2008 05:06 AM
NOV 30, 2008 05:21 AM
I agree with Charm.
(That was easy!)
NOV 30, 2008 05:30 AM
NOV 30, 2008 05:34 AM
NOV 30, 2008 05:46 AM
i have lost all my grandparents and it only phased me when my gran on my moms side died, the others i didnt know to well so it didnt bother me to much 
im just dreading the day i get a call that one of my folks or my brother have died and im here in Europe and they in South Africa 
NOV 30, 2008 06:17 AM
Sorry for your loss, doll, you have given a lot of thought to this, as always, it's important to deal with grief, and lessons learned are enjoy your loved ones while they are alive, show your love as much as you can. Time will tell, you never know, your outlook on family and children may change, it's a natural thing darlin....
Peace to you sweetie...stay strong
NOV 30, 2008 07:05 AM
wow... thx for your comment on my set dear... you're great! 
NOV 30, 2008 07:46 AM
NOV 30, 2008 07:57 AM
My condolences to the loss of your uncle. You you're feeling cold, I could keep you warm. LOL.
NOV 30, 2008 08:02 AM
NOV 30, 2008 08:27 AM
Your blogs are always so rich and surprising. You do have a lot to say, beautiful replicant.
Lilandra
HOPEFUL
United Kingdom
NOV 30, 2008 08:47 AM
So sorry for your loss, what you said about families depleting really got to me, im sat here crying, thinking about my granparents, i only have my gran on my dads side left, and its so sad
It is cold here but thank god not that cold 
NOV 30, 2008 08:52 AM
Funerals have never gotten any easier for me. Of course, it depends on how close you were to the person who has passed away. It is one thing to attend the funeral of someone who has lived a good, long life. It is quite another thing to attend one for a friend or relative who leaves way before their time. Funerals always make me think about and contemplate my own mortality.
We've had an inch or so of snow over night...GRRR!....I was hoping for it to stay away. Temps are forecast to rise in the next day or so and hopefully melt it all away. Our furnace is running too.....Mom is 85 and the older folks need the house a little warmer than most of us, to be comfortable. I keep the upstairs where I sleep a little cooler. I like a cool room to sleep in, so that I can snuggle down in bed and pull the covers up tight around my neck....I just cannot sleep in a room that's too warm.
You have plenty to say for yourself.....I always love to read your entries and look forward to them. You think on a different plane that most people here....I like that!
NOV 30, 2008 09:03 AM
Sorry for your loss sweetie. Reading that brought up a lot of memories of my grandma's funeral.
It sounds like he will be missed.
That must be amazing to get a surprise gift of books! Thanks for sharing parts of them with us.
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