I am an angry little person..ARG! ARG!

Not so much.

Anyways, I am sitting here at about 3:40 AM CST...and I am contemplating trying to fall asleep. But I feel so worried, and anxious. About many things I suppose... for example, will I get my house? When will Peter be ready to have a kid? Can I save up enough money in time for closing if we do get the house? Oh man, the worries do not stop I tell ya!

Also, a job? I love my job... still bartending and serving the rednecks their beers. However, is this what I am going to do my entire life? I feel stuck! I make so much money that surely if I were to start somewhere new, and not serve, I would make a whole lot less than I do now. If I am going to take a pay cut, it needs to be for a job that I am truly interested in. Which would be? *Crickets*.. I have no fucking idea. It does not help that we are in a recession either, and that jobs have been decreasing at an ever increasing rate. My dad says to stay where I am at. I make good money and enjoy my job. If nothing else, I work for and with the best people. My GM Ben kicks some major ass. Your manager will never be as cool as mine. Sorry.

As for life recently, it has never been better. My seasonal disorder has subsided for now, and I actively make random noises to keep myself busy. HA! My little brother is not doing so well. His friend committed suicide by running his car head-on into a SUV. This makes me nervous and paranoid...that could have been me! BUT! Life is full of "Could haves," and "what ifs." Life is far to complicated, and shouldn't be. To exist is to be, and I wish to be just that. To exist.

I should probably go to bed now....yup.